A
female
age
36-40,
*il.miss.know.it.all
writes:i need advise well frist let me tell you a little about the situation,i met this man at frist i really didnt know how old he was, im 20 and hes 35, he is now my boyfriendwe have know eachother for about 4 months now and well i dont even remember when we got together because it just happend.well we moved in together after 2 weeks moved really fast for me even.i slept with him and the condom broke and well im 4 weeks pregnant with hes baby he has no other children but hes the other thing i didnt know he was going thru a divorce he swears up and down he told me but i cant remember i thought he ws just living with hes ex while they were together and he moved out like 4 weeks before meeting me but it had been over for a year even hes family and close friends said it had been over for some time they were together for 10 years and married for 3 of them she doesnt want to let go now that she found out about me showed up at the house plenty of times wanting to hurt me now from the stress im stuck in bed then heres the other part of it i feel hes leading her on,i cant take this very much longer i do care about him and this baby and want to give us a real shot but not with her as wellshe started going off the wall when she found out i was pregnant crying on hes voice mail in text messages and just everything saying she wanted him back would do anything to have him back started stocking me to hurt me, she shoowed up at the house me and him had just left to go see a movie well that didnt happend because he left me in the car of the mall parking lot to walk around on the phone trying to calm her down well she said she just wanted to meet up and talk and then she would leave him alone well she is a second degree black belt i guess from what ive heard who cares right call the police well i guess he feels sorry for her i dont mean as it is i got to think of my baby here,well on with it he says ok he'll meet her and tell her face to face i am who he wants and its over well, it was 6 pm when he left me with hes buddy we went to dinner and coffee and then rented movies which hes our roommate really nice guy well 9 rolls around i called no answer 10,11,12,1,2 finally cried my self to sleep. then 3,4,5 comes around hes friend is getting ready for work and tells me that if hes there he will let me know since they work together he was i didnt hear anything from him so i showed up at hes work and yeah i knew it he was with her all night but he says no like that to keep her from hurting you and our child bs right oldest line in the book who cares well i leave to see my sister 7 hours away i was there by the time he got off work haha but what does he do run after me of corse i go home with him things were so good as he was kissing my butt telling me if he didnt care he wouldnt have drove 500 miles to come get me but who said i needed him i needed space i was hurt am i wrong for wanting that ?but as we get back we go to hes moms and stay over there for a while and everythings good but as were coming home we stop at the store and everything get home and bang bang bang on the door i said dont open it and he does anyways well she beat him up pretty bad trying to get to me our roommate hes bother and hes girlfriend show up and well i was so pissed off i was shaking so i ran my mouth a little since he wouldnt call the police and let her know how i feel well he was holding her back but you know i hate to be hurt because to be honest im lost and dont know what to do he says he loves me and shes nothing but he feels sorry for her because shes hurting so he hugs her out side for all to see after i came out side and asked him to tell me now who he wants he said neither of you if you dont go back inside yelling at me like i did something wrong none of hes problems are my fault i dont know how to handle this i was stupid i gave up my place to live to live with him ima very strong person and really need advise feel like im just her to replace hes wife as i cook clean and take care of he butt i asked him what would he do if i left he said i would take it as you wouldnt want to be with me anymore and would have some one to keep me company in 2 days or so and i cried so he told me that was hes ego and he wouldnt and couldnt find anyone to replace me but when it comes to my feelings he says im silly emotionally i feel alone and dont know what to do i need views on this im hurting really bad not to sure what to do she also said that night you know we have been sleeping together the last couple nights dont you and my name and he got really angry and made he leave then came back into the house and got mad at me saying i only hugged her to calm her down im doing this for you and if you want to believe her than go ahead and believe her but i havent slept with anyone but you im so confussed am i crazy ?can he change or is it that he really doesnt care ? i feel like he is trying to controll me and i cant take that,please help me i feel so low and alone i need someone to just lift my spirts my lifes to short for this drama but i guess it s one of lifes lessons that ill have to go thru but can some one give me advise and help maybe guide me in the right way of handling this i wish to talk to him about this but i am not to sure how as he is very touchy on this and doesnt answer some times im so so confussed
View related questions:
condom, divorce, kissing, married man, moved in, moved out, roommate, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Kammi +, writes (6 December 2009):
How did things work out for you?
A
female
reader, lil.miss.know.it.all +, writes (24 April 2008):
lil.miss.know.it.all is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you for your advise, we got into it pretty bad last night as well, i just feel really trapped and low.i would do anything to fight for my baby you know,he says he will have full rights if i leave says if i leave he wont run after me and throws all into my face.i dont know what to do anymore i cant take this anymore i want to leave but have no where to go and no one to help me out, im in a situation in which i cant do much im trying my butt off hes the selfish one but i am the one who always gets called that i dont think i will ever understand and really i dont want to understand anymore im just going to take my chances and leave as soon as i can and fight for whats mine as well as hes.i dont have a problem with him being in the babys life,im just more than a maid and piece of ass and i do have emotions you know but im starting to think he doesnt understand that well anyways how do you have an intellectual convertsation with a self centered person??? you cant so i got to pick up the pieces move on and forget hes sorry butt because im to mature for this situations and deserve more than this out of a relationship thank you for the advise im really starting to put love a side and think clearly now i really really am thankful for your help
...............................
A
female
reader, smeedle  +, writes (23 April 2008):
 Well you said it, it is one of lifes lessons and not an easy one to learn.
He is more than likely sleeping with her, he is defensive and this is a sure sign, trying to push the guilt onto you.
You are in love with him so not strong were he is concerned or seeing things clearly as being in love sadly does cloud or judgment of the one we love, they do say "love is blind" and never a truer word was said.
So what to be done, well find yourself somewhere else for you and the bump, its not a question of if but when he leaves you for her, he will probably string both of you along as long as possible as then he is getting best of both worlds and the time to "make his choice" he loves two women fighting over him, real ego boost!!
So stop the fighting and be the brave and strong one, just dump this looser and user and move on with your life before he damages your mental health.
Go and dont look back!!
...............................
|
