A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm kind of torn. I've been with my boyfriend for about 8 months, and a few months ago I moved in with him. Well, I've been snoopy on his computer, bad me I know. He has a yahoo messenger account and his name and password are saved, so I went on it. I looked at his previous convos and he's been talking to women from around our city and I've seen links for porn and such. The porn isnt that big of a deal to me but the fact he's talking to other women from an "romance" catagory in the chat rooms. I didn't see anything since we've been dating (timestamps) that is alarming, but the fact that he's doing it hurts. I don't want to confront him becuase I'm suuure he will be pissed that I snooped around in his computer and now wouldn't be able to trust me but,... I dunno. Should I wait until I find something alarming, like cybersex or meeting up or something to confront him? I know he's keeping this from me because he doesn't go on yahoo when i'm around, i didn't even know he had an account. So it kind of makes me feel like he's guilty for something. HELP!
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male
reader, Karlos Omnis  +, writes (3 November 2007):
 Have you ever considered he's doing this because he wants to feel special, or wants to help someone else special?
If I'm perfectly honest there's worse things he could be doing, so you should be thankful all he's doing is having conversations with people (when I type that I really can't see the problem).
It might be you with the problem as you felt inclined to snoop around his personal space unprovoked...
Blunt I know, but would you want it any other way?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2007): This could be innocent, but just be careful. You haven't been together all that long and if he hasn't done anything alarming recently then it may be ok. Talk to him about what he wants from you so he doesn't need yahoo anymore. Good luck.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2007): Login and follow him into a chat room by "accident". Or maybe he's just bored, try to spice things up a bit, keep him interested.
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