A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Ok, so i know you are gonna think i am a slut but please dont judge me. I don't sleep around and before i got myself in this mess i hadn't slept with anyone for over 8 months. So I knew this guy at we had been friends for ages but we live in different counties. We met up 1 night and got very drunk and we slept together. We both knew it wasnt going to be a start of a relationship and it was what it was. a week later i went clubbing with a friend and got really drunk. i end up sleeping with another man, and i know it sounds bad but i couldnt even remember his name as i was so drunk! well about a month later i found out i was pregnant. i told the first guy, as i knew his details and stuff, and told him there is a chance its his. I'm pretty sure it is his as we had slept together more than once through out that night, so it has more of a chance, but i no there is a chance its not his and it could be the other guys. he don't want nothing to do with it, and im fine with that so i have made the decision to do this by myself and bring up my child as a single parent. I didnt have any deatails to get in touch with the other guy so i thought best to leave it and do this by myself. My friend has been dating this guy and she showed me a picture of him, well it turns out that its the same guy i had slept with the second time. I don't know what to do, if my friend who he is dating is my birthing partner and i never told anyone that it could be a possible of 2 people. i just left it as im doing it by myself and i dont wanna talk about the dad. i feel terrible that she will get caught in this aswell, but to be honest i dont wanna tell him anyway. I have made my mind up that i am doing this on my own and im comftable with it. i dont want this turned into a mess when right now i am in control of it all. Im so bad i cant believe i got myself into this mess, especialy when i dont sleep around anyway, but i got caught out big time! please dont be horrible to me, i dont think i can take it, as i feel bad enough. i just dont know weather i should tell my friend, but the thing is, if you wanna keep a secret then you shouldnt tell anyone, so i dont know if i should just leave it. im not going to gain anything and im pretty sure he wont wanna be a dad to this baby, and i know its unfair to the child, but i will be fine doing this on my own.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2008): Aw hunny, no-one should be judging you! Um that's a real hard one! Personally I would ask the one who you slept with first for a dna test cuz you know him and he's not going out with your best friend! Then you will know who's the father and then you can determine whether you tell the 2nd guy!! hope this helps? x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2008):
I think you should think of the child, and of the potential dad instead of yourself. You never know how this other man may react, he might want to be an active father in the child's life and I believe he has that right and choice.
Do you know how difficult it is for a child to grow up without a stable, loving male role model around them? Do you know the statistics related to how less children who don't have these role models do in education? you would be putting your future child at a big disadvantage by choosing to be a single parent. No matter how successful you think you can be as a single parent, you will still never be able to provide the baby with enough feminine and masculine attention so that it can grow up with and observing both genders.
The child deserves the opportunity to have its dad around, and considering these circumstances, I personally do not think you have the right to take that opportunity away from the child.
But I do hope the pregnancy goes well, and all the best with whatever you end up deciding to do, I'm sure whatever you do, it will be for the best.
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