A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, i've been with my boyf for 7 months, and for most of our relationship i have been really jealous of how well he gets on with this other girl. All 3 of us have the same part time job and whenever i see them talk they are always laughing together and he seems to find her absolutely hilarious, which just annoys me so much because I just find her attention seeking.Since telling him how I feel about her, i now feel this tension when all 3 of us are on shift together, because i know he's trying not to speak to her so much which makes me feel bad. I know they talk and laugh constantly when I'm not there though, and she is naturally a very flirty girl and all the boys fancy her. I know he doesn't fancy her but I hate how he just loves her personality an thinks shes really mad and unique, he tells me he doesnt, but its obvious he does by the way he reacts to her. He'll say things like 'Only you would say that Jade, only you!!' while laughing.I think the reason i'm jealous is because i'm not happy in myself. Does anyone have any advise on what I should do because it gets me really down and angry? x
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2013): if you talk with a guy the same way.. will he react properly.. or will he forbid you to talk with the person.Just think along those lines, would heaccept you doing those things which he is doing now? If it seems fair.. leave it be.If not.. he is taking advantage of the situation.If it doesn't seem fair.. it is not. it's your relationship and you have the right to call on the shots.
A
male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (17 January 2013):
You have to realize that him laughing and enjoying her company has nothing to do with him wanting to be with her.
Now, because of your jealousy you've actually made things worse, rather than better. Worse because you're making him feel guilty about enjoying her company which he's never been deceptive about, second because you've made things awkward, third because you're attempting to control your bf. Not very many guys appreciate that.
Don't get me wrong, I don't think being jealous because he gets along so well with another girl is unusual. But the fact that you can recognize he doesn't want to be with her means that the right thing to do is let him have a friend without making him feel guilty.
How to get over it? That's more complicated. Maybe remind yourself that there are several facets to a relationship and friendship. Obviously being the comedian, psychiatrist, lover, teacher, student, friend, drinking buddy, escort, partner, etc is next to impossible for one person. That's why people have friends. Remember that there's no way you could be everything to your boyfriend and you need to realize that for both of you to be happy.
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