A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:there is a girl who I work with that I have become very good friends with over the past 2 years we go for coffee and lunch when we can on a regular basis. we both get on well I am going through a divorce .was in a bad marriage which my friend knows all about she is divorced and been single for 15 years or so . the last month she has been seeing someone who she met on line .I feel gutted because we were getting a lot closer .she has met people on line in the past but nothings ever come of it .I have feelings for her and hope one day we will become more then just good friends .I'm scared that I will lose any potential of us being boy friend and girl friend .but most importantly a real good friendship .she has many times dropped hints and offered chances for us to go further in the past .and I should have took up on them .I hope I don't want spoil things between us
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male
reader, Denizen +, writes (14 August 2016):
 Take the opportunity to tell her you like her very much, but you are still healing from your broken marriage and not yet through the divorce. Tell her you need to take things slowly. Ask her if she is OK with that. It's good to talk.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2016): She's now seeing someone. You were married previously, and you've just gotten divorced. Don't you think you need to give yourself time to get over that first?
People have to realize what rebound feelings are. When the heart is broken, and your emotions are in turmoil; you can easily grow attached to someone who shows you kindness or empathy. These feelings can leave as quickly as they come about.
While you were still married, you weren't available. Until the divorce is final, you are still married. She was wise to respect that. The flirtations may have been all in your head. Wishful thinking as it were. She found somebody else, because you're a colleague. So many people misconstrue friendly connections at work for romantic interest.
Take time off from romantic pursuits to heal. Then you'll know where the feelings actually come from. Meet women who are not tied to your job, single, and available. She may never have had any intention of dating you. You may not have lost any chance at all, it may have never existed.
Sometimes fate steps in to protect us from ourselves, as well as from other people. It wasn't time yet.
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