A
female
age
41-50,
*edecrem
writes:i am hurting so much over a past relationship breakup (last breakup was 2 months ago), i can't figure out what to do, i can't even figure out how i feel. i had pushed away my feelings because i couldn't deal with them, it's too painful. the last time we fought i couldn't even be my real honest self with him because i didn't want to be vulnerable. i miss this guy now, i loved him, but he hurt me so much by cheating and the things he said to me and i hate him for it. we knew each other for 3 years. i don't know how to get over him, if i ever will, how to get to the reality of what happened. after our relationship went downhill when he pulled away (cheated, just wanted to be friends) i became someone i wasn't, became depressed, etc (i've since learned but not fully experienced forgiveness). i was angry and mean to him for cheating on me and still not being honest (sort of, i was too detached to really hit the nail on the head), he stabbed right back. i don't know if how i was to him had as much of an effect on him as what he said did to me. i know this has to be unhealthy, but it is my reality. our relationship was so complicated, i just don't even know what to say to him. he put me down for being so "messed up", yet he is himself. i want to say something to him, i want to make things right or something, yet i'm afraid to be rejected again, because apparently he gets over these things so quickly. he was my best friend. he is with someone else though, so that's why it's so complicated. he said he thought i might have been worth it, then said i wasn't worth it - then went running back to the woman he was with after i pretty much rejected him because he was still with her and having sex with her. i know i'm in the right for that. he had her call me and tell me that he loved her and not me, that he was releasing me forever, etc. i hate this guy so much, i wanted revenge, still kind of do, i don't know how to resolve this. it's the worst betrayal to me. he couldn't just be honest. i felt respect for this guy for god knows why, we did have respect for each other (in some way). it was such a weird relationship, but i just could not talk to him while he was with her. he's apparently over it, but i'm not. and the woman he's with is 10x's better than me (he says)....it just irks me so much i am so angry at him i want to write him and counterpoint the things he said to me. i think i know how to handle this more maturely after writing this out, but help please.
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best friend, depressed, revenge Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Adorskable  +, writes (8 June 2011):
 your going to feel sad anger maybe cry but you have to let go of all these feelings and never in his presence don't give him that power.
A
female
reader, sedecrem +, writes (8 June 2011):
sedecrem is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you. i wish i could let it go, but it's painful. i guess letting go of the anger means feeling the pain, and i'd been avoiding that bc it's so painful. it's easier to hate than feel pain. i've tried to just ignore it, not care, it's been time and i haven't been able to get over it. i guess i have to do some deep deep soul-searching.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2011): thank you. i wish i could let go, it's painful to do so, i feel that i was extremely wronged and don't know what to do about it. it's been time and i haven't been able to get over it, that's the problem. i guess it just takes alot of soul searching that i haven't been able to do yet.
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A
female
reader, Adorskable +, writes (8 June 2011):
Let it go! He is not worth your tear and your pain. Why let him know how he hurt you. Instead of cleansing your soul, you'll be giving him the power to think that your not over him and that you still want him. Best think you can do is pretend he doesn't live, ignore him and live your life, happy and without him.
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