A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I am seeing a married man even though I do not want to. I am sorry it is a bit long.He is so kind, does my laundry, buys the groceries, helps a single women with all the things a husband really should do, I gave up trying to tell him not to bother because he never takes no for an answer. He treats me loveingly and has brought me to organsims I have never experienced in my life. He is 66, I am 49. His 3 boys are 21 and older. Oldest closer to 35. We met at work. Have been working together for over 10 years. I never approached or even dreamed of dating a married man. I used to say at work that if he was not married I would marry him because he is such a nice person; an off the cuff remark that never I never told him; just the girls.I became very ill and had to have a major operation. The company cared very much for me and sent flowers gifts, phone calls ect. He volunteered to deliver these and help me through the illness buying groceries and taking out the garbage, driving me to appointments ect. I felt uncomfortable at first but he had a way of putting me at ease. Then he just went for me after a period of time, and I was shocked if not repulsed...until he gave me several different and repeated orgasims I had never known possible. Shortly after that period of time, my mother took ill and died, then my boss, two others at work and finally my father (all within 4 years.) He was there to protect me against my mean sister-in-law (mean is a nice description) who turned the estate preceedings into a nightmare. who was there all the way; my friend of course. Although not agreeing with and actually sick over the affair, I needed him to lean on emotionally; I had no one.All that is over and he is still hanging around. I have told him that it cannot continue. He has said his wife will not do anything he wants (move to another place he lives far from here) she makes more money than him; financially he would be making a mistake to leave her. I did not push it because recently his best friend died. He is still thinking of moving to where he wants; but divorcing would perhaps not happen due to the financial results. He talks about moving out. He also had talked about moving in with me and purchasing a house together. But that has changed too.What do I do. It has been about 6 years of turmoil. Now I want to do something but do not want to hurt him because he has become comfortable with me as a friend and escape from his marraige. I too have become very comfortable with all the help he gives me and fightened to go back to being alone incase my health deteriorates and I have banished him. But also, if I continue finding a new life may be more difficult; but he incorages me to do so. Conflicting messages, because I have seen him jealous before.I am physically disfigured from the operation so full out seeking a partner at middle age and disfigurement tells me my odds are pretty slim.I am pretty sure his wife knows, but does not say anything about it; at least to me anyway. She and I talk occasionally, she will call and ask if he has left yet; I live closer to work than he does so says he is dropping buy to help me with something; or wait for a car or appoint or whatever. I buy them christmas presents.
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affair, at work, best friend, christmas, flowers, jealous, married man, money, my boss, period Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Nascar0991  +, writes (30 April 2008):
My husband was involved in a 5 yr affair. He tried to leave her many times over the years but she would not let him leave. She was blackmailing him. She kept telling him that she would tell our kids what he was doing. Finally he quit, changed his number and we moved. She did go to our kids but we were ready. If having him around do nothing if you dont then you must do something. It is up to you
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (3 April 2008):
 It looks like you have been accepted by them.
Just carry on with your life and live peacefully with them.
Everyone is happy with the arrangements.
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A
female
reader, Twirly  +, writes (3 April 2008):
 Hi Sweetie,
Im sorry to say that it very much sounds as though he isn't going to leave his wife if he hasn't done after 6 years.
If the situation is making you unhappy then you face a really touch decision whether to carry on as you are, or call it a day.
As the previous poster said, only you can decide, as it sounds like this man will carry on like this for ever otherwise. I know you love him but he can only offer you half a life at best while he is married.
I wish you luck and strength to do what's best for you, you mustn't think of settling for less than you deserve because of your operation, you're a beautiful lady with a lot of love to give, and you deserve to have lots of love from a committed and single man in return.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2008): Im not quite sure what your question is? its sounds like your asking for approval from us, if this has been going on for 6 years and you think his wife knows about it but hasnt said anything maybe she does and doesnt mind that her husband is there for you physically and emotionally if it worries you that much then end it. the choice is yours not ours people on here are going to tell you your doing the wrong thing and you should end it blah blah blah, but at the end of the day this is your life, your choice and you have to live with whatever happens no-one eles.
do whats best for you
good luck
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