A
female
age
30-35,
*b-charm
writes:I've been seeing this guy for a while now..and since we started dating he never calls or texts me and it seems like i always have to take the 1st step in communication. I've mentioned to him and he sed he will try and change but nothing has..he sed to me that he finds it hard to communicate and but he wants to be with me. His mates also complain about it and its kinda getting to me now...i really like him alot but i can't stand being the only one taking the initiative in a two way relationship..please help, what can i do to make him realise that its doing my head in and i feel like he really doesn't want to be with me??
View related questions:
text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (3 April 2008):
 He is not a born initiator.
He is just like a new puppy and need to be trained by you.
If he listens to you , you reward him .
If he does not , then you send him to the sin bin..LOL!
A
female
reader, dearkelja  +, writes (3 April 2008):
 Waterloo Sunset has it right. Tell him that you need to see him put forth an effort in this relationship. Tell him that you are feeling that he isn't sincere when he says he wants to be with you because to you, it doesn't seem like he is putting in an effort.
It is possible that the relationship will die out if you leave it up to him. I will tell you I had a similar situation and I finally told the guy that he knew I liked him and how to reach me. That was 6 weeks ago. Haven't heard from him since. It may not be totally the same thing as he had other issues going on but the other issues were causing him to have this very low self esteem which really made it hard for him to do the pursuing. Maybe that is what is going on with your guy or maybe he is just aloof.
Either way, if he doesn't pony up and start participating, this really isn't a equal partnership and you will only grow more and more irratated. So, maybe if he doesn't start pursuing you, it wouldn't have been a good relationship anyway and there is someone better for you out there.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2008): this will be hard but just dont call him or text him for a while he will soon realise that your not going to contact him and he will call or text you.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2008): Give him an ultimatum. Tell him that he has to get in touch first and arrange the next date. Sit back and wait for him to do it, if he hasnt done it in the time scale that you want, say one week, then get in touch with him and tell him that you are sick of the whole situation and you want to finish with him. If he is keen then he will buck his ideas up, but if not then look at being on your own. I wouldnt run after him anymore, most blokes love this anyway, but please stop now. Let him do the running. Dont phone or text, now let him get in touch with you.
take care
xx
...............................
A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (3 April 2008):
 Some guys just like to have a girl who chases them and they can get what they want from you whenever. You seem a sweeter woman than that and should seek a guy who will treat you much better.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2008): Maybe the poor boy is shy ! maybe somthing is going on in his life thats bothering him or somthing !! To me it sounds like he's shy .... thats somtimes a bad thing but can be good. Most shy people are really good listeners . ask him direct questions but ones that make him think and give long answers ... like what does he see in his future ... what are his goals in life .... stuff like that . find out what his interests are and go from there!
there are endless possibilities!!!!
I hope I helped in some way !!!:)
message me anytime
*~VG~*
...............................
|
