A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I've been having a sexual relationship with a close family friend for almost a year now. We treat eachother like cousins and have done for years. We spend every new year and birthday celebrations together. The thing is this family friend is a guy. I'm sixteen and I know I'm falling for him. I try not to get turned on when I'm with him but it seems to overcome me. Plus our families are so close that I now see him all the time its hard not to want to be with him. I'm also in love with my best friend, who is a girl. She is funny and attractive and we've made out at parties. The day after we always laugh it off and say it was the alcohol. She's quirky and sweet but I don't think she feels the same about me. Recently my sexual relationship with my 'cousin' has turned sour. He used to stay at my house and we'd have sex. A few weeks ago we took a walk at night and I gave him oral sex. But now everything has changed. My 'cousin' has been avoiding me and our friendship has vanished. He won't speak to me or text me. Yet at a party last week he was flirting with me. I fell for his advances but he turned me away. I know he is playing a game with me and thinks is funny, but it's messing with my mind. I don't know whether I'm gay or not. My feelings for my friend are so strong and I want to tell her. But my feelings for my 'cousin' keep getting in the way. I know that if he asked for it, I'd fall straight back into his arms again. I know it's wrong and I try to think of the effects it would have on our families, if they knew. I can't lie, its killing me that he won't talk to me. what should I do?
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best friend, cousin, flirt, oral sex, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2012): So you're bisexual. Just find another dude if that's what you like and if he gets jealous, then hey. Sounds like he's in the closet. Move on to someone who gives a damn.
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (27 December 2012):
 I don't think there's anything you can do and actually doing nothing, concentrating on yourself is the best way to keep yourself sane. The girl doesn't feel the same towards you and nothing can change that. Your "cousin" doesn't want anything real with you for obvious reasons. You know the family would be giving you bad looks. He's okay with doing things secretly but will do anything to avoid letting family members know about your dalliance. Both people are examples of unrequitted love. Neither of them deserve your attention. It will only hurt you further. There is nothing more to say or do. If anything you should avoid seeing your "cousin." Giving him oral sex would not make him love you. In time you will forget both of them and realize there are many more people outside your bubble, wanting to meet you.
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