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female
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*reen-eyed-girl
writes: hey ,i know there are lots of questions on here about people being in 'love' with teachers.But ive been mad over a teacher for 3 years now and i know so much about him that he has grown to be an obsession n im truely head over heels over him...plz dont say its a crush...i know what a crush is and this dnt compare.Well this guy lets call him 'john, 39 yrs old' knows bout this ...he is married has kids and is a great teacher... he pays alot of attention to me well he did until a friend was being very sarcastic and told him i fancy his collegue 'ell' (which i dont...cos he is scum!) n well since then he dnt seem to bothered about me.He also has another collegue 'con'...a much younger pe teacher and he is so sweet and he pays alot of attention to me(in friendly way)...he also knows that im mad about 'john'. well not too long ago i was playing a football match and i had the ball...he pushed me up against the wall(whilst tryin to get the ball) n put his hand around my bum(accidental/purpose?)also anuva time i was in a football game n yet he played against me again...this time we were a bit agressive for the fun of it...bumping into eachother makin me fall over and stuff well at one point he pushed me over but caught me n pulled me bk(him standing behind me) he pulled the bk of me into the front of him n thrusted forward ( he really isnt the kind of guy to mean tht rudely) ...but that was 2 encounters in a short amount of time.he always greets me with a big smile and says hello and asks if im ok and stuff and he is so genuine...yesterday after school he drove past...it was pitch black and noone was about n i was waiting for my dad in my pe kit...'con' pulled up beside me as he came out the skool gates and offered me a lift...is this normal??the more i think bout these things that have been happening the more i want to believe that he likes me'john' has made me so depressed and makes me feel an inch tall yet 'con' brightens up my day wen ever he says hi.dya think this 'john' is a jerk?(forget he is a teacher)dya think 'con' may be giving signals?should i confront him?thank you guys...and please be kind lol!
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2013): I know how you feel. I had the same problem with my PE teacher but he was single and really horny ;) I had a huge crush on him from year 7-11 and then I graduated went to college and went back to tell him how I felt. Then we ended up having a relation ship (we're now married too)
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2011): Hello!
Pfff it's really difficult to come out with an answer to this...i fancy one of my teachers too, i didn't even realize it at the moment, i just thought i really liked his company and his class and everything but...when i less expected it...i just wake up thinking about him, about how cute, sweet and honest he was with me, we became so close in a matter of few days. He was my teacher for 2 years, but the first year was like we weren't even in the same class room!! the crush occured in the second one and i was speechless, 'cause he's married (no kids) and mainly 'cause we were like friends! but as many people here says the smallest talk we had could make my day at all!
There was a time were we had class every single day and the staring thing, the smiles, his jokes about me or even us..God! drove me crazy! he's such a great personality, so we joked about anything, hold hands, share laughs, stories, problems, a lot of things, we bother ourselves with paper balls, we listened music together, once he even bit me softly in the hand to take his list from me, hid my books, hugged me, took my mobile and look over photos or sms...we really acted like teenagers in love! i was 17 and he was 27.....sometimes i do think he feels something for me but i just don't know how to ID friends love when he acts like this.
Anyway i´ve never told him how i feel,'cause i still feel something for him (not sure of calling it love) and i don't think i will ever do.
Eventhough is great to feel something like this, and trust me i know is hard as hell to let him go, you have to! if you really love him you must want his happiness right? and that happiness is his family, so you have to learn you're just one more friend, and that's it, there's nothing you can do about it.
I still visit him sometimes at my old high school...but my very last day at that school was so damn sad...'cause i had to say good bye to everybody..included him! i went to say bye and i couldn't say anything! he hugged me and i started to cry! and almost did he do it too but he started to wisper so many things to me that we just hugged for a very long time, ignoring all the other teachers and my own friends, who only stared at us like o.O
I really miss him so much..but i know i have to keep my distance...so don't waste all the advises u'll get here. ;)
To Mcm!
your answers ;)
1. he did
2. yes
3. 'round 2 weeks
4. yes
5. no
6. we're still friends...the staring situation and everything is still the same when i visit him, we keep in touch by sms and pff i still get nervous when he gets so close to me!
I'd love to read your theory! Good luck!
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reader, McM  +, writes (20 June 2011):
Hey everyone!
I´m so exited that you´ve created such an interesting topic here.
As many of you I too had something like a relationship with my teacher. I became really close with him and now, when I already got a boyfriend he no longer wants to communicate with me which is killing me, because I haven´t seen him for 367 days now, he no longer teaches at my school and the truth is that he is one of my best friends.
So I decided that it´s time to make my feelings clear for myself because I think that could help me delete anything that’s left and feel good again. So I´m working on something like a project because I want to know why do we fell so easy in love with our teachers and why do they give as signals too. Is the relation between student and teacher really a taboo.
So I have a few questions for you and I’ll be really VERY happy if you can answer me. It’ll help me a lot hear about other people’s experience.
1. Who made the first step? The teacher or you?
2. Is he/she married?
3. How long did it take you to become close with this person?
4. Do you think that you were/are really in lov...e?
5. Did you tell him about your true feelings?
6. How did it all ended up?
I’ll be really happy if you answer me. It means a lot. When I’m ready with my theory I’ll tell you everything that I found out. If you want to you can send me your answers like a private massage. Thank you and I hope we all will figure out what to do with our relationships some day :)
Hugs
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2011): I am still facing a similar problem to you.. i am 15 years old and i had this teacher in first year .. i really like him .. he doesnt have the best of looks but he's always so nice to me .. he's so funny and we always have a laugh together.. he used to bring me out of class for to help me as i am not the smartest of students and when hes in front of me i cant help my feelings .. i really do like him.. im not saying its love or anything but i dont know .. its just the way he makes me feel :/ .. there is a big age diference thoo.. i mean i dont know exactly how old he is but guessing id say hes around 39 .. hes not marryed and doesnt have a girlfriend but i dont know if i should ask him to hang out or what. :/ but i dont think i would waste my time cause i think hes just being friendly with me
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2011): I know this comment is super late but I used to be in a similar situation. When I was 14 (I'm 18 now) I thought I was in LOVE with my english teacher. I was so young and didn't care that he was married with two little boys. I used to ALWAYS make excuses to talk to him. I purposely got a locker that was right next to his classroom. He was a great teacher, well respected and he was very attractive. He was 36 at the time but I looked past the 22 yr age difference. It didn't take long for me to become obsessed, and I mean OBSESSED!!! I looked him up on people finder, found his address and used to walk by his house. (creepy huh?). It didn't stop there, I carved the man's name on my own skin. I was becoming so caught up with this man that my grades went down, I was lashing out at my mother, I just became so angry. I never understood why he didn't return the feelings. Yes, he would say hi to me when he'd see me in the hall, but I wanted more. I was becoming a different person and for what?! For a married man who looked at me as just another student. Throughout the next couple yrs my obsession only got worse. Looking back, I now understand how immature I was. I swear I thought it was Love and that we were meant to be. I made the mistake of telling my two best friends about how I felt and they didn't take me seriously. They just said it was a crush and that I'd get over it. Fast forward to present day, he is no longer teaching at my high school and moved thousands of miles away. (He became an international teacher in another country). It hurt so much at first and I cried myself to sleep at night. I was dissapointed because I didn't get a goodbye from him (not that he was obligated to tell me bye). It has been 9 months since I last saw him. 9 months since I heard that soft yet demanding voice. I thought I would never recover...but I did. I don't think of him anymore (except for today or else I wouldn't be writing this). I am not upset anymore and I wish him well. I'm a senior now and will be graduating in 3 months. Oh yeah...and his name is STILL carved on my right arm. (I was so stupid for doing that!!!) Hope everything worked out for you. :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2011): Oh my dear, you are so young. Let's just say, though, I understand how you feel. Several kids from all over the world find themselves falling "head over heals" for their teachers. But that doesn't mean that you are in love. Being in love is something entirely different and it's hard to say exactly what love is. But at 13 you are too young yet to know what love is.
I, too, have found myself in for it. I like my teacher. She is a young lady--as am I--and she directs the band at my school. We talk all the time but we keep a sane distance from each other. Sometimes I think she knows, other times I don't.
But it doesn't really matter, I'll have you know, what you two are feeling. Because the law is the law, and an adult knows how to follow it. If this teacher of yours is married and had kids...he most likely doesn't feel the same way. It is your teachers' jobs to make sure that you are safe, and if your teacher sees you alone, he is legally supposed to do something about it.
My band director will wait hours after school with me--just the two of us--when I don't have a ride. Sometimes she drives me home! But that's because it is her job to make sure that I am okay. We both know this.
If you find yourself thinking you're in love, don't waste your time in 6th/7th/8th grade getting involved. It's too early to know what love is, and you don't really know what commitment is either. I know it seems harsh, but it's true. When you're older, you'll understand.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2010): I'm 17, and I have a similar problem..
I did chemistry this year, and the teacher taking my class had just moved to my school. It was her first year teaching.. And yes, she's a woman.
In our first lesson, I just thought she was nice and funny - you know, the usual. But later in the year I started struggling with my home life.
She started asking me to stay behind after class, and she would stealthily try to figure out why I was upset.
To begin with, I wouldn't tell her anything, but gradually I started to trust her, and one day, everything just poured out of me.
That was the day that I'm pretty sure I fell in love with her. We got to know eachother so well. We have an insane amount in common..
Ever since then, she has been there for me. She drops everything to go for walks with me. She has a husband and two beautiful boys, so I have never told her how I feel about her, because.. Well.. That's stupid. I'm just so happy I found her, she is honestly like an angel.
She feels my pain, and she sits with me, in the rain, holds my hand and cries with me. I have never met anyone like her.
And yes, it's now the summer holidays, and I've been without her for a week, already struggling. Next year, (my final year of school) she will be teaching my biology class, and that's what is going to get me through this holiday.
I don't know what will happen to me after I finish school, but I hope we will stay in touch, and I guess thats all I can do.
Just wanted to share that :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2010): Hey!
You seem like a nice girl so I am going to give you my honest opinion, while helping you out with the basic facts.
1)First of all, Con and John are both teachers, and the law states that any physical relationship between the both of you is strictly off limits.
2)John doesn't seem to be treating you very nicely, let alone he is meant to be your teacher and is suppose to be helpful and responsible over your care. It is obvious that he has been mistreating and taking advantage of that.
3)This Con lad seems a nice enough guy, and he makes you smile. He probably would get along with you very well (maybe even to a relationship status) but and this is a huge but, he is not your friend, he's your teacher and everything that goes for John goes for Con too.
4)Yes, I think that John is being very jerk like. He has a wife, and to even think about flirting with another girl, especially a child (!) is awful.
5)Con obviously makes you happy, which is a good thing, but on a teacher and student level, the line should not be crossed.
6)I doubt Con likes you in the way you like him. He's probably very fond of you and is glad he has you as a student but nothing more.
7)I think everything that happened on the football thing was just a bit of fun, and was not intended to be anything more on his behalf. When he offered to drive you he was most probably just being friendly.
So keep your head high, and if you were meant to be you'll work out when it's no longer illegal.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2010): -Sigh-
And this my friends, is solid proof of why student's and teacher's should never become too familiar with one another.
Dear asker,
I would honestly leave him alone. He is not just some random guy you met out at a night club, he is a grown gentleman who happens to be your teacher. He is in a position of care over you, he is suppose to respect and treat you with dignity and honour. And while you and him carry around this kind of relationship between each-other everything I stated above wont happen because you are too familiar with each-other. I won't say your not in love crushing on him, nor love him, it's lust. Teenagers your age don't really, deeply understand what love is yet. Hun, I'd walk away, and I'd do it fast.
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reader, kkgirl123  +, writes (7 December 2010):
I am not gonna tell you the story in detail because I bet he would know who I am.He isn't really my teacher but I see him a lot walking around in the hall in school...one time he asked my name and after that I was very confused somone would always bring up his name that is how I started liking him...then a month after that things got a bit weird and once we were in the hallway all alone and I was waiting for a teacher it was really awkward.Even more things happened after that which I won't tell just incase.But just I told a few of my friends about it and I felt a lot better until one of my friends said she thinks he is gay...and that made me feel sorta dumb and hurt.But once a while back ago I thought the same thing because his voice was a bit high pitched but I didn't have enough proof but my friend has him and she says somtimes the way he does things are a little girly.What I am trying to say is girls and boys who have crushes on a teacher be careful and make sure he/she is not gay because belive me there are some out there and also don't make your life misrable from liking he/she don't disconnect your self from being a kid because that is what happend with me I became this quite misrable girl and I regret ever liking him.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2010): It's the last day of school.
I hugged, I signed shirts, agendas, and even dressed up a bit. It was about 5th period where I got a bit emotional. I cried a bit with a friend while we were walking to our last period.
My teacher, "Mr. A", was standing outside like he always does to greet us and bid goodbye to his previous class. Usually he'd take his tennis racket and hit a ball against the wall. As I walked toward him, he noticed my tears and hugged me. I enjoyed the hug.
I walked into class, and sat on the AC like I usually do with my friend. We were both his favorites, and it was obvious. I was able to listen to music, drink soda - a couple of times I would sit on the ground, either leaning against the AC or wall.
He wrote a letter to me, you know, one of those 'end of the year, goodbye' things that teachers and students do. He said that the hardest part of being a teacher was hiding your favorites. And in the letter he wrote "that task becomes virtually impossible" when I'm in his class.
I was cried while walking home, and hanging out with my friends after school ended. I cried when I was going to see my ELA teacher, "Mrs. W" for the last time before summer. I hugged her, and she hugged me, and my friends and i all started crying also. I could tell my friends knew I was really emotional because I never cry at school. Ever.
Then, when we finally left the school, walking out of those metal fence gates, I cried. Reason being is that I would miss the school over the summer, never walking through again for another two months.
"Mr. A" was a the closest thing I had to a dad. A slight 'father figure' perhaps.
My friends and I were sitting outside my friend's house, and I started to finally calm down. Then I started crying again. This time it was because I would miss "Mr. A". Two months without the man that consoled me when I cried. (I cried on numerous occasions) The man who I would stay after school with to talk about music, or last night's Glee episode, or talk about the random stuff that happened in class. I absolutely could talk about anything with him, and he would listen. He's just always been there when I needed him - needed a father.
He even said to me once.
"My friends would hate me so much if you were my daughter. I'd be bragging about you all the time,"
References about me being his daughter always makes me smile.
My parents - mom and step dad - divorced a few years back. I didn't realize at the time exactly how important a father was. Now, being in the 7th grade, (after two months I'll be in 8th) I have needed a father more than anything. "Mr. A" has always been there for me to talk, or when I needed to talk when my mom was being... stupid.
I guess the reason why I was crying so much today is that I couldn't get over the fact that I was going to be leaving my 'father figure' for two months. After seeing him every single day, 5 days a week, I have no idea how I'm going to last two months without seeing him.
So, this is a love not to be followed by marriage, or engagement.
No.
My love for "Mr. A" is like a daughter to a father.
I've only been home for a couple hours and already I miss him.
PS.
Yes, I've taken my video camera and gone about with my friends and teachers, wishing there goodbyes and just natural school actions, how we act in class normally, but i don't dare want to look at them.
Memories, memories, memories.
I am a seventh grader, and I think of my history teacher as a father.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2010): Hi, this story makes me question my entire philosophy about my student- teacher relationship. And I know that no one will probably read this because I am so late to replay to the question, but if someone does, please help me understand what I so desire to. I have a similar situation to everyone here. I go to a really small school with just a few male students to choose from. I have never really loved anyone in my grade. Sure I've had crushes, but nothing more-- even with my ex- boyfriend. That was why I thought it was so easy for me to 'fall in love' with a teacher-- because they were so much better than the other options. They just seem to understand more and are wiser and, most of the time, better at making someone hopelessly in love with them, though they seldom know it. I have a crush on one of my teachers, but with a different teacher, I feel like it is more than that. I convince myself that it is just a friendship, but I always start dreams about him. What I tell myself is that I only like him because I know I could never have him and that it would never work out. It's like I am his skylark or little doll to just play with. It is like I tell myself that he just does it for fun, so why shouldn’t I have fun to and play back without getting emotionally involved? -- Because he is married with children. There is no way he would ever possibly like me; he just gives me remarks because he respects me and vice versa. I have known him the least out of both of the teachers I like, but I have developed an extremely strong bond with him. We are so alike it gets scary. We like the same music and hold the same values about everything. We have different opinions on things—and that’s the best part because we both love to debate. I think I don’t love him; I think I just don’t want to lose our friendship, which will inevitably unfortunately happen in less than a year when I graduate next year. I know I can always visit the school, but our bond will fade and it will never be the same. I could never picture us kissing, but I picture us having drinks at a bar, laughing, and sitting really close to one another… reminiscing in memories and feeling each other’s breath on our cheeks. I don’t want a sketchy relationship with him; I want an undeniable friendship. I would never want to make the people he loves the most unhappy, so I could never have a romantic relationship (also taking account the fact that I am just a couple years older than his oldest daughter). I think I know that the things he does to me are out of friendship, but I dream and wonder what if it were out of something more—but then I remember that is not possible and I would never want it to be—think about it; it is just creepy! I just don’t want to lose him. He means so much to me now; I can’t even fathom how much I’ll miss him when I go to college. His mere presence inspires me to have a better day. A teacher of his stature could never have feelings for a student, but I feel them, and I can’t explain it. Am I imagining it? I tell myself I am… but I’m not that convincing. And the more I believe he could have feelings, the more I want myself to. I wonder all the time if he’s as analytical as me. If he’s wondering about anything right now? If he’s ever thought about me? If he even likes me? If he could ever love me, even as a friend? If we could remain friends beyond my senior year? Does he hesitate to say things in front of me, like I do him? Does he ever get nervous around me, like I sometimes can? I feel like he knows something I will never learn. I’m terrified of never talking to him again. I’m terrified to be overly nice to him because he could get offended and I’m terrified to be mean because he may not see through it. Is it possible to think about someone so much, with such hope, and not love him? I know it is not romantic, but I love him—and anyone who thinks someone my age cannot feel love, he/she is wrong. If romantic love is nothing but a chemical attraction, then, by all means, young people can feel love. My love is a deeper love which will last longer and is a testament to the bond we have formed. I think by typing this all out I have answered my own question. Thanks for reading this; if you still have advice or questions please feel free to ask.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2010): no!! dont talk to him i have a friend who did the same thing. she told her pe teacher she liked him he then told the school ,wrights a report on it and gets her moved out of his class. he avoids her at all costs. once one off the other members of staff was ill so he had to cover their lesson, when he saw she was in the class he was covering he just said " i cant cover this class , can you do it for me?"
to another member of staff. this nerly killed her
also they sent her to see a thrapist and then she moved out of our school.
i say wait for him to make the first move but remeber he has a wife and kids plus if your under 18 then he could get in realy big troble so if something did happen it would reck his life and yours . i really hope this is not 2 harsh :)
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reader, Bubluvv2  +, writes (3 May 2010):
Now that the one you "like" John is ignoring you, I think it shows he thinks your maybe slightly weird for (I know this isn't true, but he thinks it)you liking his colleague, so now I don't think there's any point of trying. I think you should confront Con and see if he likes you, if he does than there is a guy that loves you and will give you happiness. So my advice is to confront Con, and if he does love you then say yes(Don't tell the school though....The school is one downside to loving your teachers, because teachers aren't supposed to have relationships with students...). Maybe talk to John again and see if the reason he is avoiding you is because of what your friend told him. I hope this helps you with your difficult love story, and you have a happy future, with your teacher or without =)
Bubluvv2
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2010): I also find myself falling harder in love with my teacher every day.... I just turned 18 and he's 32 married with two young kids. Seriously, from the first time our eyes met I knew there was something different about him that I had never seen in anyone else before. We were instintly intriguied by each other...
There is so much chemistry between me and my teacher that it's almost electric. I can litteraly feel his energy when he walks in the room...and when we talk we find our selves lost in each others eyes long after the conversation is over. I really do feel i'm in love with him. It's on such a different level then anything i thought I could truely feel. This does scare me. Only because I do belive in true love. I don't belive that every one has one.. but I feel that if this is my one true love in life I don't think there will be another...and I don't want to loose him...
He's shared so many intimate things with me about his life that seems like it would be out of a movie. He told me this really sad story about his girl friend, and how he was planning on asking her to marry him, but just before he was to meet her parents and do it she had a simple surgery. Tragically she went into a coma for months until they had to pull the plug on her. During those months while he sat in the hospital beside her, he met her sister, and apparently fell in love with her...Who is now his wife! His wife is also a teacher at my school and I know her! The crazy thing is we look sooo much alike! I didn't even notice until my friends told me how much we looked the same.I feel like I really know my teacher and I know his wife and I really don't think they were meant for each other. I seriously think he found comfort in her after the death of HER sister who he loved, and probably thought that she was the closest thing he could get to her.
I have very deep feelings for my teacher and I know they are mutal. He is a good man with morals and commitments. Therefore I know we won't be together now. I can only hope that if he is my one true love we will meet again when the timing is right...
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2010): It is such a comfort to know that I am not the only one who feels this way about a teacher. I've told a lot of my close friends when they've told me about their relationships. None of them have been super-critical, either.Anyway, I've known him for just about three years now. He's my chorus teacher in high school; I go to a school with a magnet for performing arts. The way my schedule is set up, I have two classes per day with him. But, I go out of my way to talk to him in the morning, walking to the chorus room right from the bus and hanging there with him and the other students until the last possible minute. I am a Junior (17-years-old) and he is almost 28.When I was a freshmen, I admired him as a teacher and had a HUGE crush on him. He's pretty (and by pretty I mean VERY) attractive, just taller than me, blonde hair, blue eyes (which I'm a sucker for). Safe to say I had a massive crush. Now, two years and seven months later, I feel that the crush has been replaced with something deeper. I still feel the attraction and admiration, but I find myself wanting to get to know him more and more.He makes me feel special. I am a leader for my section, and whenever I do something right, he never hesitates to point it out. I sometimes catch him looking at me, but when I look he'll look away. He is always willing to answer any questions I have about music and about life in general. And he trusts me to set an example for the other students, to be a good leader. I love being in his high opinion, and I know he brags about me to teachers at other schools.We are definitely friends, but we know our boundaries. Whenever we go on trips, he find something to talk abouot. I remember a few friends and I ended up going to dinner with him and the other teachers. All of us had a great time, and I kept seeing him looking at me. All I know is I feel something deep for him that I can't accurately name and that I like those feeling. I also know that we always have fun together and that he teaches what I am passionate about. So, those are my thoughts. Your stories inspired me to share mine.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2010): hello there i'm laura and i couldn't help but simphatize with your story because i think i'm going through the same thing. about six months ago i entered this new school and from day one i was automatically attracted to my english teacher. i was just coming out of a very painful relationship so i didn't give much thought to my infatuation, but after some days past i grew closer to this teacher because we have a lot in common. i love the way thinks and there's just something about him that puzzles me. one day when i met him after school he offered to give me some extra help with my english homework so i decided to stay after with him and since then i saty after with him almost everyday. not much happens after school but during class he gives me these looks and says these things that obviously makes me wonder. i know it's wrong because of age and moral/ethic issues but i can't denie the fact that i'm in love with him. we both flirt with each other and i know there's something else because with time i've grown to know him quite well. i don't want to tell him my feelings because as much as i think "i know" the way he feels for me i really don't and i would never want to get him fired or make our teacher student relationship awkward in any way since i do realize he loves his job. because i find myself in this situation i can truly say that whether or not it be love, the best thing to do is let it go. it's hard but AGE does matter and i believe that a this is a very difficult relationship to jump into so the best thing would be to just let him be. trust it's very painful but for me as for you i believe that is the best thing for the both of you and for me and for my beloved english teacher...
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2010): hey, i'm in the same situation as everyone here, and i'd like to first say how amazing your stories are- they have really given me hope.
i've been in love with a psycology teacher (32 years old) since october, and i'm fifteeen. i've had crushes in the past, but this was way more than that.
we met by chance in the corridor, and then it soon turned into a friendship. we would tell eacother secrets and so on...until one day i realised that i loved him. all the girls fancy him at my school.
he's just so gorgeous, and has a truly lovely personality. i shake when he sits near me, i rush to his room straight after lessons just to see him, i think about him constantly. i've dropped hints that i like him, but when i found out that he's engaged i felt so sad. however, this hasn't stopped me. even if i can never be with him, i'm content with watching him from a distance and staring at his sweet smile. however, what hurts more is that he constantly flirts with me; from blowing kisses to calling me "beautiful", and its left me so confused inside. sometimes i don't know how to act towards him.
but i really, truly love him. he lights up my otherwise boring school life, and makes me feel like a princess.
it will hurt so much when i leave school.
but, no matter what happens, i will definately tell him my feelings before i go. i just want him to hear it from me, even if it ruins our relationship....
thank you, and good luck to everyone x
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2010): Well i said i'd join your lovely conversation...
my case is actually pretty crap too. i love my maths teacher and it's a woman! i've been questioning my sexuality for the last year... i'm 18 and just can't make myself face the fact that i'll be leaving school at the end of this year! i cry myself to sleep every night because i don't want to finish school. i'm seriously considering the idea of repeating...!!!! it's all because of her. i can't even imagine my life without her. the things is and i know i might sound wrong, but i would want to have a relationship with her, and f*ck the age differance! i know she was married before, but now she never seems to wear her wedding band anymore. and it's so weird, she used to be waaaay to nice to me 2 years ago, when i didnt have any interest in her. well this year, she sits on my desk, forgets stuff at the end of class so that i always have to go looking for her... she keeps looking at me in class and never gives out to me... please don't say that she's just being nice and stuff, because she probably is... and don't say that i have to report her.... i like her too much but i don't know if i should actually take any action.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2010): female writer on january 5th, 2010, i understand you COMPLETELY. im going through an almost identical situation. i met my art teacher 4th quarter my 8th grade year. i didnt think that much of her...i just knew there was something strange about her. she hated when people said 'gay' and finally in my sleep i woke up w/ a shock. 'maybe shes a lesbian' i thought. she has a nautical star on her wrist between her thumb and pointer finger. ever since that night, i remember the day, it was a friday i think may april 30th or may 1st, i completely treated her like a godess and i always wanted to be around her. now i wasnt a lesbian and i dont think i am, but something about her provoked me. idk. so then after making the art project we were dealing w/, i emailed her. i asked her why she didnt reply back the next day and she gave me a little smile saying she was busy. shes only in her 20's, i was/ am 14 years old. she treated me better than anyone in the class by the way she stared at me, the way she let me turn on the radio louder and no one else, the way she asked for my help and no one elses. so the second to last day of the school year i was just talking to her and she laughed and said i was 'special' and she said she would keep in touch. the next day i didnt get to see her much but i wish i would have asked me to sign my yearbook or ask her if she was a lesbian. i didnt tell any of my friends my infatuation, but they do know i think shes a lesbian. a few days after school ended she responded to my email and we emailed back a few times. i still email her every now and then, if i could it would be everyday, but she hasnt responded back since august, so i feel she is giving me the cold shoulder. you have no idea how happy thoughi am to find someone else out there in my sort of situation.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2010): I understand where you guys come from. Hi, I'm 12 and my math teacher is 28 or 29. 16-17 age difference. No, it's not a crush. You might think "your just a kid, you can't love!" THATS A BIG FAT LIE! I know what love feels like, because it doesn't feel like my past boyfriends, but it does feel like this situation. I am in 7th grade. My teacher is married has 1 dog, & no kids. We got classroom jobs & I got the "most important" one, says he. & He constantly winks at me, calls me babe, baby, hun, honey, sweetie, sweetheart, etc. From your side of the computer it may seem, "ohhh, hes just being nice." NO! Trust me, if you were there you would know what im talking about. I can't take my mind off of him, I always find myself smiling while thinking of him. "A drop in the ocean" by Ron Pope makes me think of him. Listen to it if you wish. He sometimes sings to us & he mostly sings "I'm yours" by Jason Mraz. & I swear when he sings it he ALWAYS looks at me, I have too look down so he doesn't see my bright red face. His class is my last class of the day and its 90 minutes. I'm glad its long but said i have to leave right after, tomorrow me & my friend Katie are staying after school with him to be "tutored". I really love him. I hope this helps.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2010): Hi. Well a few mounths ago i met my art teacher. She has a husband i believe. When i met her i found her stunningly pretty and kind. This confused me about my sexuality and my feelings toward women. I feel as thoigh i am in love with her even though this will never be. That hurts me evety single day. She doesnt flirt and i know that im not her favourote student i want to tell her i love her but how can i? I need to get on with my gcse art because i love it. I jist feel helpless around her. I told two of my friends. One is very open minded and lovely. And one thinks its just a phase. I was planning on tracing her back when i leave or leaving her a note explaining my feelings. But i'm a wimp at heart so i probably wont
i feel so helpless and trapped. And oddley she has made me consider my sexuality and at the moment im considerig whether im gay or bisexual. Life. Its a mystery. And im caught in my feelings :(
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2009): I'm late in answering this but just thought a bit more advice might help.I'm in my fourth year at school and last year I grew close to my history teacher. We talked all the time and he makes me laugh and I him. I was the only one in the class that he gave a nickname to. Last year whenever we were aloud to do anything we liked he would always come and talk to me and my friends, but he would talk to me the most. On the last day of school i went over to him and said have a good holiday when he replied he put his hand on my back and lent on and talked in my ear and it wasn't even that loud. I have him again this year and extra period which I was thrilled about. Some days me and my friend stay behind in school waiting for her sister and evrytime time before we leave I always go and talk to him so he can mind something for me which he does. I talk to him about anything and he always makes me smile. When I was upset on day he was the only one who noticed and he made me smile. So there are a lot of people in you situation. My teacher and I have grown closer and closer so never say never. You never know what will happen but be sure you love him and he loves you so you don't get hurt. Good luck
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2009): Thank you so much for all posting all your storys. I have just read them all and have found so much comfort in all your experiences. I also have fallen for a senior member of staff. But he is a lot lot older than me.I love him more than love it's self and everytime I see him the sky's open. Everytime someone says his name or tells a story about him my ears prick up.He is so beautiful and is my Mr Darcy.The girl that wrote on '8th of May' I completaly agree with you! Girls i know how hard it is but you just have to completaly ignore him and forget about him and you will find when he passes you in school he won't attract your attention like he used to. Your life won't revolve around him. Try it girls. (I'm guessing your all girls anyway), get back to me if it works.xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2009): I fell in love with a teacher of mine a long time back.It was the last day of school, and I was graduating that year, and I knew I'd never come back.I wrote this teacher a note, and I told them how much I loved them, and how much I looked up to them.Then, after reading the note (keep in mind I stayed until after they completed calling busses) the teacher looked at me, and thanked me.Nothing happened really, but we extchanged nice emails...Then, I developed severe depresson. This teacher also had depression, a long time ago.I started drinking, and I never felt myself.This teacher, caught me and stopped me...Then, after saving my life, and getting freedom from the mental ward....I asked why the teacher did this.Then the teacher said "I'm doing this because I love you."Then, we hugged, for what seemed like hours.Now, we talk on the phone for hours, and we are really good friends. I hold this teacher, and kiss them on the cheek. They do the same to me. The teacher quit the job to get a job in advertising, and they have been very successful. I don't think our realationship will go any farther than this - but I am happy just being like this.This proves one thing - TEACHERS AND STUDENTS SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO LOVE.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2009): i totally 100% dissagree with rythymandblues2.. she is in love and she is 17 maybe she should wait a few years until concent but you have no reason to judge her like that.. maybe she is really in love with him not just because he is independant
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2009): I know that this answer is coming super late, and probably nobody is going to read it, but I know where you're all coming from. I have the same issue. It's summer, but I've been in love with my young English teacher since last September...freshmen year...haha. And he likes me too, I just know. Like he checked me out repididly at the school formal (even though I thought I looked like the ugliest thing), he gives me special attention (he let me and my best friend sit together and nobody else, he doesn't take points off for misspellings on my papers, he always calls on me first in a discussion when I want to speak), there is A LOT of staring, when I'm sick in class he gets cranky lol...etc. There's a lot going on, and I'm going to be having him as a teacher twice this year again in sophomore year. He's probably gonna think that I stalk him, cause I took like all the classes that he teaches, but whatever. Before Christmas this past year I saw him in the mall, and that was THE best night of my lifee! omgg it was spectacular. my mom, him and i talked for a little while.
I really want him to be the one..and I think he is...we have a 12 year age gap but i dont really care, he's 26 and i'm 14. he has a girlfriend, but that doesnt seem to matter. i heard that the year before i came up (before this past school year, freshman year) he talked about his girlfriend a lot and he actually came into school once with a hickey!! but this year there was NONE of that. maybe he wanted to hide her from me. he did bring her up once in class but he was talking about this car accident that he got in with his gf. :(
he makes me feel so good, i feel like a new person when i'm around him. he unleashes a beautiful side to me that i've never known. i love what i am when i'm around this man, and he'll always have a place in my heart, no matter what happens in the future.
so never, ever give up on someone that you can't go a day without thinking about. ♥
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2009): Okay, so I'm going in to my senior year in high school, and i had this amazing teacher my junior year. He and I became close. He had become my idle if you will. He was my best friend. I looked up to him. One day i had come into school really upset and no one seemed to take notice so i just kinda put on a fake smile, and didnt want him to worry. So I walked into his class 4th period and he took one look at me and told me to go back out to the hall after the bell rang. we went out to the hall and he had asked what was wrong. i had told him it was family issues, which at the time it was. he had no feelings towards him at the time. I was in a relationship and as was he. But when me and my boyfriend, ironically so did he and his girlfriend. he and i started to get close. and afew of my friends could see i was getting a slight crush on him. I was 17 at the time, and he was 24. around january, i wasnt doing well in his class so i had stayed after for extra help and what not. so we did some work and at about 3ish we stopped. and we started just getting to know each other. by the time i left the school it was close to 4 and i had to walk across town. it was mid-January. I didnt have a car. he offered a ride. I took it. he was risking so much just so i wasnt cold. made me feel ... great for a change. he dropped me off at my house and i told him i would see him in the morning. he was like "4th period you better be there" with a smile. I smiled back and said "Of course" and went inside my house. no one was home. so i was able to think about everything, when i realized i really did like him. 6 and 1/2 year age difference wouldnt be that bad. the year went on just as so, and the last day of school we talked all period about everything. i had dyed my hair from dark brown to jet black. his 1st response was "I love it" i smiled. he said "it looks amazing with your green eyes" again i just smiled and said thank you. the period went on as followed and i signed onto my facebook when i got home to see a request from him. my jaw dropped. i was so happy. we talked about alot that night. and i even have him on AIM. he had said that night "The things i do for you. I risk my job everyday for you." i had responded with "Why?" he said "I dont know, maybe i like ya a little... maybe its more than like.. who knows?" and i said "you have to tell me now. what do you mean by that cause im crazy about you" he said "and i you." and sense then we've talked every night. I love him, yet its completely forbidden... Its not fair. I hate the school system... but now im 18. and hes 25. im a senior in high school. there for i am graduating this year, so maybe hopefully things are able to pick up between he and i after graduation. who knows? ;-)
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2008): I had this teacher last year, he was so cute. But once I got to know him, it became more than a crush. He would talk to me and it seemed like he actually cared. So on the inside,I was crazy for him, and most people knew it. It's obvious when the second you see him, you face lights up and people start to ask questions. But that was at the middle school- my last year- and so I was very upset to have to leave him behind. Imagine my suprise when I find out that he moved up to the high school. So I always walk to class with my friend first block because her class is next to his, and she has a crush on him too, so we go and giggle about him, like girls often do. I have red hair and I have been thinking about changing the color, and my friend told him that I wanted to do that, and then she ran in her class. So it was him and me in the hall, just us, and he says, "Don't dye you hair, I love it." and I say : I hate it" he replies," I don't know why you would it's unique and no one else has it" at this time a girl, who also has red hair walks by and I say "she does" and he says "no, yours is better. and it looks so good with your blue eyes". ao I am obviously freaking, in a good way, but the bell rings and I have to leave. It was the best day of my life. But I feel bad for liking him because he's married and has 2 daughters, that are only like 4 or 5 years younger than me.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2008): I'm the same girl who's anonymous a couple comments down from May 14, 2008. My feelings have really changed towards my 9'th grade teacher. (I'm in 10th grade now). When I see him around on campus he'll walk RIGHT BY ME and not even look at me. It hurts me alot, I still cry over him. But I got back at him yesterday cuz I walked my guy friend to his class and coincidently my teacher was right there talking to another teacher. Well, My friend hugged me and gave me a pec on the lips and omg my teacher looked right at me and gave me the dirtiest look. It felt good inside cuz now he knows how it feels to be hurt but at the same time I hope he realizes that what goes around comes around. I wish you luck and hope that you never have to go through the pain that I'm still going through.
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reader, Shebnem  +, writes (20 July 2008):
Hi. I understand you cause the same thing happened to me at the University. he was my favourite teacher. And he became my favourite while teezing me. I really liked him but I tried to stay away from him. But it didn't work. After 3 years he came back, he said that he is divorced and wants me marry to him. It was a great shock for me. I still love him. I know that it is impossible to be together. But we are trying to be friends. He is very kind to me, and I am kind to him. We both know it is impossible. I thing that God sees everything and if you badly want something to happen, it happends. I was dreaming about him that one day he will propose me, and it happened. I didnt do anything to earn him. If he is in your destiny it will happen. Just hug him ones and try is that a true feeling or not. then u will no what you should do. I tried and I understod that it is not love. it is just kind of mixture of love and interest. but i really care about him. It is a torture if u live in Moslem country and can't do what you want. May God help all of us! AMIN!
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reader, green-eyed-girl +, writes (16 May 2008):
green-eyed-girl is verified as being by the original poster of the questionsee what i mean. this really is mature feelings. i now have a boyfriend 9 years older than me. he is gorgeous and treats me like a princess.
...but i want to finihs with him because its not fair on him knowing that i will never have feelings for him that come anywhere near to what i feel for my teacher.
i had a falling out with best mates a few weeks back, they know this teacher is my weakpoint, so they target me through him. They filled him with lies and assumptions. this really made me tick because he really is the one thing that i care about in life and it really kills me to think what kind of things these people told him.
im leaving school in a week. its gonna kill me [maybe not literally] lol. but its going to be the most heart breaking thing i have ever had to do, leaving all that behind. i have been crazy over him for 4 years now, over that time ive matured hugely and my feeling have changed towards him, feelings that went from 'omg i want him, i want to kiss him, i want to marry him, i want him to leave his wife for me.lol' to a more mature approach of 'I love him. I need him. I dont ever want to see him hurt. I want him to be happy, even if it means never having him.'
i personally believe, when you fall in love with someone for the first time and you fall so deeply and you refuse to let go, you never will let go even when you have to. i believe thats what ive managed to do anyways. as much as i want to let go, i refuse to, i think this is where my problem lies at times.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2008): Wow I seriously thought I was going crazy I thought I was the only girl who felt this way. I have a teacher and he drives me wild. We flirt off and on and when we do, it makes everything alright. If I see him walking around the halls at school, I feel so weak and I get really shaky. I also find myself hugging my male friends in front of him to make him jealous. It works because whenever I do, the next day he wont flirt with me lol. When he flirts he'll pass by my desk and purposely touch me like with his leg he'll make sure it brushes against my arm. For valentines day I gave him a gift and a card, that day he told me I was his favorite student. It made me smile, and love him even more. He might not be the cutest man I've ever seen, but he's an amazing person. Sadly, he is married with two kids. But there is obviously something wrong in his marriage if he continues to flirt with me, right? My friends laugh about it or they'll just say "ewwww he's so much older than you, find someone your own age". I want him and only him. I just want to hug him so tight and kiss him and tell him that everything is going to be okay and that I'll NEVER do anything to hurt him. I remember once he grew a little mustache and I complimented him, he smiled and laughed a bit. Another time he decided to shave his head, and again I complimented him. He said "Thank you, my wife doesn't like it, but I'm glad you do!" I couldn't help but start blushing. I want to belive that this isn't real, because deep down I know that I probably wont ever have him. It's just a nice thought thinking about him. I'm constantly day dreaming about him, he gives me butterflies everytime I see him. If "you" [my teacher] ever get to read this, just know that when my heart skips a beat, it's saying I LOVE YOU!
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2008): I know how all of you guys feel... it isn't a crush... do you feel his name burning inside of you when someone mentions his name? or when he looks at you, you want to pass out on the floor? or when he smiles at you, u want to kiss him immediately? this is how i feel. i leave school soon and i'm not going to see my art teacher ever again... it's such a heartbreaking thing and i really need to move on but i can't! a tip for all of you... try and ignore this person and shut him out of your life.. i know this sounds really hard but it's working for me! i went to a cycologist about this and this is what they advised. it's weird cos i never thought i would find people who would feel the same! but apparently there is loads! my art teacher is 31, he has brown curly hair, bright blue eyes and a clean shave! its weird who you get attracted to! hang in there girls!! xxx
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reader, bexiiboo92 +, writes (15 April 2008):
hey
my name is bexii!
i love my PE teacher i know that its not a crush. he seems to know if i am putting on a front if i am upset. its like... a couple of weeks ago i was upset in history and he walked by and sed..." are you ok?" i sed yes... he like raised his lip above his top one to make is look like he was sad to ask me so no one knew so i nodded he sed come and see me later... so i did and he was the only peson to listen... every other teacher ignord me. :(
but he shows me so much attention i find my self dreaming that we kiss. i know it will never happen but i want it to so bad.
i think u need to wait till u leave and go back and see him thats what i am planning on doing.
bex
xx
hope this helps!
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2008): well im in love with a teacher his name is Mr.Ness but i call him Erik his first name hes 27 i love him and im his best student
hes the baseball coatch and i play softball
so we have alot in common
my friend thinks that me and mr.ness are to close when he is like the best teacher and friend i have ever had
he greets me and loves to talk to me all the time and i love talkin to him one day my friend relized he was flirting with me now he isnt married and has no kids so he free but 12 years older than me i know im in love and im falling deeper in love with him every day and beoing away from him makes me miss him alot is this true love or just a crush " i think im in love with the right guy" do u??
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2008): Yeah I really know how you feel, I'm really obsessed with my teacher and he's like 41 years old and also gay. It's like when I found out he's gay I really didn't care cause I love him too much and still do but I'm trying 2 get over him, CAUSE IT AINT GONNA HAPPEN, so I should stop dreaming and get on with my GCSE's. But the weird thing is that whenever he sees me talking or laughing with another teacher he gets like sooo jealous that he tries to get my attention and stuff. Anyway, I'm leaving school in a couple of months and I'm really gonna miss him and can't imagine my life without him. It's sad but true!
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2007): omg i thought i was the only girl living to be absolutely obsessed with a teacher!i am in love with him, hes also married with a kid :( my teacher is flirty and gives me attention but what do i do? how can i develop it? please write a reply! xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2007): okay, I totally understand where you're coming from- I am in absolute LOVE with my teacher, it's not just a crush- I think I know what a crush is (I'm eighteen anyway!) so I understand you. Except mine is only 24 and not married, so our situations are a bit different. Don't listen to Rhythmandblues, I think what she said about you being lost is very rude, and about your parents? I really don't think that's an issue. I have the most amazing parents and am not lost, but am still in love! Listen, wait until you're eighteen and graduated, and by then, ask this teacher of yours how he feels about you. He's married with kids, so it doesn't sound too good right now, but you never know. And I think you should do whatever you feel with this 'con' guy, trust your gut. Good luck!
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2007): Concerning the last post from rhythmandblues2, I am a little too attached to my teacher but it has nothing to do with feeling more sophisticated or "grown up"...that being said I think the last bit of your post was a little condescending. However, THANK GOD you pointed out that 'con' is a creep, and that 'john' is to be respected.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2007): I'm sorry but this is disgusting. Seriously, 'con' grabbed your bum and then thrusted himself towards you from behind? Seriously, I'm amazed that you don't see how blantantly sexual this all is. It's not a good thing, by the way.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2007): You are so lucky....SO lucky.... don't confrount him yet though see how it develops... how old is Con?? xXx
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2007): well i disagree with the othersif that guy "con" likes u (and he def does) and you like him then go for iti have been in love with one of my teachers for 2 years and i know it sucks when people arelike its just a crush, its like bullshit, i think about him every secondanywaybut befoore u do do something, think about what ur doingyou have to have feelings for this guy majorly before u enter thisbut if u rly love him, go for it
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2007): I agree, and PLEASE learn how to spell and write proerly you're writing was irritating me and making it hard for me to see things from your way of things.
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reader, green-eyed-girl +, writes (24 November 2006):
green-eyed-girl is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhey thnanks for advice, i understand where you are coming from its just so hard to put things into words...
this'john' used to come over and speak all the time even when he knew i had feelings for him...its just since my mates where being stupid things seemed to have changed...i dont know wghther the timing was a coincedence or what.
'con' seems like a rite nice guy...he dont seem like the slightest bit dirty. he seems so genuine...this must seem so sad reading this lol...but some things just get to ya in a way dont they?
anyways thnk u guys!
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2006): I am guessing you are 18 or younger, still living with your parents and attending school.
John, the 39 year old is married with a family and he does not seem like a jerk, but is respecting the boundaries that he should being your teacher and a authority figure in your life and he is not paying you any attention because he knows about your little crush, not because he thinks you like another of his colleagues.
The other teacher con is bad news, and he is giving you signals, and he is going to get you both in trouble with your school, your parents and your reputation will be ruined in your community if you have sex with him or date him or fool around with him.
I am sorry to sound so harsh, but you are just wanting this male attention from your teachers because they are older than you are and have jobs and a life on thier own and you think that if you can get them to like you then that means that you are more grown up and sophisticated than you really are. I kind of feel sorry for you, as you seem to lack direction and focus in your life...where are your parents in your life, what influence do they have for you? You need to set some healthy boundaries for yourself where your teachers and other men are concerned, if you don't know how to do that or don't know what I mean, please talk to your parents about this or a school counselor or a professional to help you understand why it is not OK to have an obsession on a man who is married, your teacher and old enough to be your father, when you are only a girl in school....and to allow some teacher to grope you accidentally or on purpose is considered sexual abuse and is not a funny matter or one to feel feelings of excitement about, this guy has problems and you should avoid him at all cost.
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