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male
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anonymous
writes: Sorry for the HUGE essay!Hi,I was out camping the past couple of nights with a few friends and my girlfriend was there too. The first day was cool, everything was normal, but on the second day, my girlfriend was being quite critical of me and starting petty arguments with me for no reason. (which she has done before) We were all sitting around the fire, So i ask her 'whats up with you tonight?' etc, to which i got no reply. I then sat there quietly for a bit feeling a bit sad, she then noticed a tear go down my face and asked if i was alright to which i said i wasnt and we went in the tent by ourselves to talk. She asks why im upset and says 'is it to do with us' so i say yes and then she immediatley says "do you want to split up?" for some reason. I explained why i was upset, about how im trying my hardest and i always feel shes to negative towards me. Had a cry on her shoulder, i felt like a right baby. We have only been going out for over 3 months now. When we were in the tent, i told her i loved her for the first time since we met. She then said to me that she doesnt believe me (as in she thinks im using the word 'love' a bit loosely) and that shes sorry she cant say the same back yet, and also mentioned that sometimes she just see's me as more of a friend rather than a boyfriend!? I then tell her how much she means to me, say that i dont want to loose her etc... I even asked her, 'do you even want to be with me??' the answer was yes though...Not really sure what im asking right now, im very inlove with my girlfriend who cant say the same back yet, im deppressed and crying, and dont know what to do.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2006): You have opened up emotionally for the first time by telling her you love her to this girl and that's a VERY vulnerable and emotional thing to do. You're probably feeling down because you wanted a different response from her. That's completely understandable.
What you should do now is let her fall in love with you in her own time. People fall in love at different times. It may be hard for you for now because you may be feeling like you are giving more than receiving. Patience is going to be the key here.
As a girl myself I felt suspicious when my bf, for the first time, told me he loved me. It was very early in our relationship as well. I was suspicious purely because I wasn't sure if he said so to keep me happy, I didn't know him properly yet etc. You only get to know someone REALLY well after the first or second year. I'm not saying that she'll fall in love with you after a year, but you two are still getting to know each other so give her time. She DOES want to be with you, that's a very positive sign.
For now be happy for the fact that she IS with you, she doesn't want to split up and you've found a girl you do love. Concentrating on the positives and let her know you are not joking around. One thing us girls like in guys are genuine kindness and understanding.
Good luck.
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