A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I'm in love with my close friend. I don't think anything will happen between us as I'm sure he doesn't see me that way - and anyway, he's only just split up with his girlfriend (who cheated on him), so I'm just keeping quiet.At our sixth form you can be quite close to the teachers - it's all first name basis and they get to know you pretty well. A couple of our creative writing/English teachers were really keen to matchmake us - they kept dropping comments and stuff; one teacher 'S' actually asked me outright if I was upset when he got with his girlfriend, and did I like him, she was listing little observations she'd been making about us, things like that - really personal and intense.. I told her we were just friends. But, this same teacher... She flirts with him :( and I can't bear it. She's pretty young, and he's 18, and they're very similar types of people. He's an amazing writer and she's a published poet so I'm sure it's exciting for her to teach him, and he is beautiful so I'm sure she's attracted to him too, and yeah idk they just have a connection going on... but come on, she's an adult, a teacher?! He gets really freaked out by her, and it bugs me no end.. I don't see what I can do, it's not as if I can tell her to back off. Before anyone says, the flirting thing is not just in my/his head - it's not as if I'm complaining about "funny looks" - she actually makes direct suggestive comments and passes him notes in the corridor(?!) and pointedly tells him about the type of guy she likes. I am close to this teacher too, so I feel almost betrayed, which sounds ridiculous. Yeah so maybe it will never happen between me and my friend... but the last person I should feel 'threatened' by is a teacher?! It's getting me down. He keeps telling me about whatever weird thing she's done/said, and I just get so upset and angry, and he has no idea haha! What can I do?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2012): He's an adult too. A young one, it must be said. The real issue is that she's a teacher, not just a teacher at the same school, but actually teaches a class you both attend.If she was just an older woman who lived in the same place or frequented where he works... there would be no issue.But there is a bond of trust between a teacher and student, regardless of the age of either participant. It's why mature-aged students and teachers who enter into relationships can still get into trouble.You should talk to him about it, but if he is unwilling to go to another teacher about it all, then you best be prepared to lose him as a friend if your decide to do it for him.Flynn 24
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2012): Go talk to the principal or the school counselor. Report her inappropriate behavior. She should not be teaching is she is making suggestive comments, flirting and otherwise trying to be a 'friend' to her students.
She needs to be fired. Tell a grown up.
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