A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I moved on too quickly with this new man. I was upset about my breakup with the ex and rebounded to this new man. I used protection but my body resisted the pill I used and have fallen pregnant. I painfully told the ex who I want to get back with just cos it was the honest thing to do. The only prob is I couldn't stomach to tell him about my drunken encounter until I fell pregnant..He was livid all this happened on our break. He said why didn't you tell me you had got with him before you fell pregnant..Before I fell pregnant, I was so disturbed by the whole encounter I just didn't want to speak about it. I am sure my ex knew I had been with him I just didn't want to say at the time and well I didn't know I would fall pregnant from it, didn't want to lose you over a once-off that went wrong and wanted to put it behind me and get back with you! He prob thinks I didn't use protection though I did. It just failed. My ex wanted to have a baby with me before we broke up and we had been trying but it just wasn't happening so it made it ten times worse having to tell him what ended up happening to me. He told me if we are to get back together I should tell this new man I have miscarried, delete him off my facebook and just come to him. I said to him I can't do that as that would be a lie. It wouldn't be fair to him or the baby. I am worried if I get back with the ex and have the baby with him, he will resent the baby for obvious reasons yet I would rather be with him then the new man. The ex suggested adoption and abortion but I told him I don't think I could stomach either. He tried to say I cheated him during our breakup but I haven't. I painfully pointed out how when you are broken up you are free to date who you want and may I remind you, you disappeared off the radar. I didn't know you felt this way about me until you saw me with this new man. I met someone new - didn't know this would happen. The new man knows about my feelings for the ex and is leaving me alone to give me time to figure out who I really want which is really fair and decent of him. I said sorry to the new man cos he knows I am in a complete turmoil. He knows I don't want to hurt anyone. I was going to marry the ex before we had some dumb breakup. Once the ex saw the new man become my bf, he was begging for me to come back to him before I fell pregnant..now I can't seem to get the ex out of my head. I have tried SO much but nothing seems to be working. The ex is now avoiding me as he is hurt by my news. I can't even post a thread on facebook as the new man keeps flirting and thumbing everything I post in a bid to get me to want him again and the ex just inboxes me with why is he still on here if you care so much for me? Its like as if my ex is being insanely jealous of the new guy. I thought about deleteing the ex off my facebook but cos I am still in love with him I can't stomach to. I feel torn between the two of them and I really don't want to be. The new man is a nice guy that is why I didn't delete him. I just met him at the wrong time. I got drunk and rebounded to him which was really stupid on my part. He is in love with me and I am trying for the sake of the baby to have an amicable relation with him. I feel trapped to be with him cos of the baby. I told him I can't just take up with you now just cos there is a baby involved - he agreed and said to me to take my time. I want to be with the ex but that whatever happens I won't deny him the chance to be a father to the child etc. He is now telling me to be with him as opposed to the ex. He used an expired condom on me and it broke and the reason I have had my doubts about him was that maybe he wanted to get me pregnant after all why did he use a condom that was out of date?? It wasn't till the next day did I notice the expiry date on the wrapper and gasped. I was too out of it at the time to realise that night - was way too drunk. He knows it was not what I wanted. Why use an expired condom? I felt disrespected just by that fact alone. I asked him this, he said Im sorry..I didn't realise till after. I then used an emergency pill to protect myself but it didn't work and it went right through my body according to the doctor. I am trying to be happy but I feel really traumatised by this all. I am not thinking straight. Do I have any chance of getting back with the ex or should I just move on and try to be with the new guy?? My heart wants the ex and my head is telling me to just go and be with the new man as at least the new man is being supportive. I am just annoyed at how I have fallen pregnant. I don't like the fact the new guy used an expired condom that is what is stopping me from being with him. Ideas?
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abortion, broke up, condom, drunk, facebook, flirt, get back together, jealous, move on, my ex, the pill, trapped Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Capri2  +, writes (16 February 2011):
In the first place: don't drink if you are going to have sex.
I guess this is not a good time to make a decision. Why don't you take a week so everybody is calm and then you figure out what to do?
There is a couple of thing you have to take into account. You have mentioned them before anyway:
You can't have an abortion without the child's father consent.
You can't hide the baby to his biological father.
If "The ex suggested adoption and abortion but..." means your ex wanted to adopt the child and then make you have an abortion, he should be put into jail just for proposing that. And you are in love with a mo**er f**ker.
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