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I'm in love with my ex but I need to move on!

Tagged as: Teenage, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (24 April 2009) 4 Answers - (Newest, 26 April 2009)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I‘m 14, the problem is there’s this boy and I’m completely in love with him.

He is everything I want and have wanted for so long, we have been with each other about four times now and the last time ended about a month ago.

We're always together for a long time, the first time lasted about 6 months and I no it sounds stupid but I fell in love with him the first time I met him. He was always telling me he loved me and everything and he made me so happy, even now when I see him I can’t take my eyes off of him and I can’t help but smile.

After we broke up we both said we wanted to stay friends because of how close we were before we got together in the first place but I’m still madly in love with him.

Now comes the problem, one of his friends and someone I have been friends with for about 3 years now told me today that he loved me and asked if I could be his girlfriend but I didn’t know what to say so I said can I think about it….

All my friends say I have to move on and that I should get with him but I don’t know if I like him at all and I don’t want to end up breaking his heart but I know that if I got with him and then the other boy I like asked me back out it wouldn’t even be a question to who I would go with even if they do keep breaking my heart… now please someone help me, should I say yes to the boy that asked me out? I’m so stuck and confused…

View related questions: broke up, fell in love, move on, my ex

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2009):

My advice: Don't go out with him! Look I know I'm a guy and all but I still have feelings and so does he. If you really still love him than he probably still loves you; unless he's just a jerk. You sound like a very kind girl. You seem to have given your heart to him. I know I'm only 13, but I've been in a similar situation. If your ex does not ask you back out soon, then you ask him out. It's not uncommon.

Hope I helped! =)

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A male reader, aznrzn United States +, writes (25 April 2009):

I have been in a situation similar to this. My ex-girlfriend still had feelings for her ex-boyfriend when she went out with me. I was completely oblivious to this, I had no idea she still loved him. Well, the day of reckoning came 3 months later when she left me for her ex-boyfriend. Please please please, don't do this to another guy. If you truly want to be in a relationship with somebody, you must first get rid of your feelings for other people. This may be hard, but if you stopped talking to your ex-boyfriend you may start to lost interest in him. But if you go into a relationship, still feeling attached to him, your relationship is doomed to failure. Just my advice.

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A female reader, libraluvzluxlife United States +, writes (25 April 2009):

I can relate, I still love a guy I dated in high school and that was ten years ago. I understand you still really love your ex. I am glad you are not denying your thoughts or feelings which tells me something. You said you had a friend and he wants to go out with you but dont like him in that way and on top of it you dont want to hurt him. So,listen to your self and tell him that you need your space right now. Your need to assert your self as a woman and learn to tell men what you think rather than what they want to hear. Your friends sound nice and I am sure they have your best interst at heart BUT only you can live your life. Never be in a relationship for the wrong reasons.. you deserve the best.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2009):

No your not ready for another relationship yet, before you get a new boyfriend you really need you get over your old one because as you have said

'but I know that if I got with him and then the other boy I like asked me back out it wouldn’t even be a question to who I would go with even if they do keep breaking my heart'

Thats proves your not over him and that it just really would not be fair on any other lad because they would have just thought that you used them and you could loose the friendship you have with any other lad you hurt. If you understand me?

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