A
male
age
30-35,
*rossRenegade
writes:This has been bugging me for a while... I'm quite certain I'm in love with my cousin, but I've never known how to deal with this. To be accurate, she's not my first cousin, I think. She's the granddaughter of my grandfather's sister (if that made any sense). . First off, would anyone know what that's makes us as far as family relations?I've known her for years and years, but now, I'm just genuinely attracted and affectionate towards her. We have bond as close as real siblings, but she just doesn't know how I truly feel. And I'm afraid of ever letting her know... I don't want to lose her because she'll likely think I'm some creepy person. But there's just too many feelings that are hard to explain... anything I should do?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2008): All i will tell you is that i am in love with my cousin too.I did not know how to tell her,because all those things we've done,I really tought that there is something special between us.But i didn't know if she felt the same way.One day,she wrote me an SMS: "Is there something wrong?" than i replied,that there is.The problem was that i loved her and didn't know how to tell her.Then i gained some strength and wrote her:"I AM IN LOVE WITH YOU". And that was probably one of the biggest mistakes i made in my life...:(( She wrote me back:"OK.we will talk about that today afternoon..."And we met and she kept telling me that it must be something else,I can't be in love with her...and she also said,that she doesn't consider me a freak or anyting and that she hopes that our cousin-relationship won't change.But,unfortunately,i know that is not true...before i would tell her,she would want to see me everyday.Now,she doesn't really want to see me at all.I know it,because if I invite her to my place,she refuses,she doesn't look at me like she did before. So i recommand you not to tell her,but anyhow i have a REAL advice for you: FOLLOW YOUR HEART!!! if you really feel that she feels the same,than go for it.But beware! If you do tell her,you could risk ALL!So do it only if you really have to,because no one knows,how i feel right now.Maybe if i would have waited more time,she might have discovered this herself,and might have accepted me.I fucked up...BIG times.And i sooooo regret it...:(( :(( :(( Best of luck to you!!!!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2008): I got it wrong. This may explain in simple terms your relationship 'cousin wise' :-
First Cousins - two individuals who have the same grandparents.
Second Cousins - two individuals who have the same great-grandparents
Third Cousins - two individuals who have the same great-great grandparents, and so on down the line...
Removed - this is a term used to describe the relationship between two "cousins" of differing generations. For example, your first cousin's child would be one generation removed from your first cousin, known as your first cousin once removed. The same is true in reverse; Your mother's first cousin would also be your first cousin once removed.
Take a look at http://www.cousincouples.com for lots more info.
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A
male
reader, CrossRenegade +, writes (23 September 2008):
CrossRenegade is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAh, thanks... Yeah, I've heard both sides of the story: follow your heart/it's wrong and disgusting. I know my other family would likely not be happy with it at all. Plus, my cousin doesn't like relationships and doesn't want to marry, so I'm basically stuck in a tight spot, huh?
Dunno if something is wrong with me, though... when I think of her being with another guy, I get extremely jealous, even though I oughta be happy she's found someone to make her happy. But some of you are right, we are young, and even though this feeling has been going on for more than a year, maybe it'll pass. Thanks everyone.
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A
female
reader, thatgothgirl20 +, writes (22 September 2008):
 Maybe this is just a passing crush, you are young, you know. Wait and see if these feelings persist.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2008): Your grandfather's sister is your great aunt. By my 'calculations' you are 3rd cousins. She is a 2nd cousin to one of your parents, as you are to one of hers. One of your parents and one of her parents would be first cousins.
What should you do? Tell her how you feel about her if you want to make something more of it. Maybe she feels the same but there's no way of knowing unless one of you speaks up!
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A
female
reader, stacyhelper +, writes (22 September 2008):
 This makes you second cousin's and due to the fact that if you were first cousin's there would'nt be anything wrong with it there deffinatly nothing wrong with it, i think you just need to sit down and think about how much you actually love her and want to be with her.
Once you have done this you need to think of how to tell her if she does not know you just need to tell her everything and say even if you don't feel the same way we will put it behind us and keep being friends, but just remember you need to tell her strait up because if she finds out anotherway as you know she will probably not be happy.
So just tell her and go from there.
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A
female
reader, misscooks32 +, writes (22 September 2008):
well... thats your business, but... family is family, oh and by the way, you would be distant (real distant cousins), but either way the COUSINS part is the key word, no matter how much advice you may recieve from people, family and friends, in the end your still going to feel the same so actually you are the one who is going to have to make the final decision, first i would express to her how you felt, because she may get offended and totally upset about it knowing your family, or.. for all you no she may feel the same way, and although i dont condone it in any way shape or form (who am i or who is anyone) to tell you not to follow your heart. right. so just let it be known and see what she says and in the end if your both happy, well then there ya go. but... just no that no one can make the decision for you. she is family and in alot of people's eyes it is wrong and just sick, if your the type of person who doesnt care what other people think and doesnt mind people talking then go for it. but you have to understand people will be people and they will talk shit so prepare yourself for that it may be hard to be together but if you want it bad enough go for it.
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