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female
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anonymous
writes: I'm in love with my boyfriend's brother. His brother has told me time and time again that he feels the same way. I am not happy with my boyfriend and really don't know what to do. I need to find out whether his brother is stringing me along or if his feelings are true, but I don't know how. I would end my relationship with my boyfriend if I knew his brother wants me the same way that I want him. Someone please help me - I know it's dangerous ground to walk on but I can't help the way I feel. Please help. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2010): I think you should end your first relationship before staring a new one even if it is with your boyfriend's brother. To be honest with you I would not say anything until you know it is the real deal. Start by seeing each other and if it is a mistake you will just end it without people interfering.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2010): I can only speak for myself I the nearest I have to a brother is a couison, if he was going out with a girlfriend that i fancied I would not let her know how I fell, you should make a spilt form the boyfriend first explain why and then make you move if could all go wrong but you are very brave and if it all goes are you could have your boyfriend now has a very good friend.
remember you are not a bad person for wanting what you want.
I wish you all the best
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2010): i know how you feel, im i a similar situation but i dnt know if the brother feels the way i do, the other tricky part is that i know his entire family.... no clue wat to do...
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2010): Hi ladies. I always thought thus stuff only happened to people on Jerry Springer. All of a sudden it's happening to me and it took me a while to figure out I even liked the other brother. Someone else saw us together and pointed it out and all the past several weeks have come together and now make sense. I only dated brother A for five months and while dating him I met his brother, brother B. Whenever we all hung out I was always worried about brother B's feelings because he is single and didn't want him to feel uncomfortable that he was solo. While dating brother A I decided to buy my first house and brother B became my realitor. A couple if weeks later I broke up with brother A because I found text messages that indicated he was sleeping with another girl and I was disgusted. I didn't feel it was fair to dump Brother B as my realitor too cuz he invested so much time at that point, taking me to look at houses and what not. I've realized as we got closer to finding me the right house that I love spending time with brother B, even if it's just business. I look forward to his calls and live the talks we have about life and relationships when we are out driving around and looking at houses. Meanwhile Brother A keeps texting me and wants to get back together. I dont want that, cuz I just like brother B. I'm in my earily 30s, and haven't liked anyone this much in over two years. I've been looking for someone to build a life with, as I left a very long term relationship two years ago. So, I bought a house and it closes in two weeks. After that I have no reason to see Brother B and this makes me very sad. I feel that he could like me too. The problem is that brother A would be hurt and I feel could become dangerous (his past isn't the best) if Brother B and I gave it a try. I wish I could have met Brother B first. If only I had more money, as I would even consider buying another piece of property- just for a reason to call and talk to Brother B...crazy , I know. I am pretty sad at this point cuz I wish something worked in my favor for once.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2010): I just broke up with my boyfriend of 11 months. I didn't start falling for his brother til a month after we broke up. My ex and I are still friends. I don't know what to do. Do I tell my ex how I feel about his brother or should I just not say anything.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2010): I am in a very similar situation and I don't know what to do. I am engaged in a relationship that has more downs than ups...I started talking with my fiances brother lately and we are getting very close. He is now going through a separation/divorce. I am falling in love with him and we have gotten close. I love my fiance too but not the same way. Me and my fiance have so many problems, and I wish he was like his younger brother. I don't want to hurt him. I wish I could take these two brothers and combine them into one.
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reader, Peaches n cream  +, writes (2 February 2010):
its good to know that am not the only one in love with my bf brother wel me and his brother been goin togather for 11 years we had our up ond downs i meet his brother before i meet him i always liked him but at the time he had a grilfriend and they had 3 children togather so we was just friends so a few mouths went by i meet his brother i startrd datein him we went togather for 4 years thing started to go bad for us so i started back talkin to his brother again we feel in love we was going to gather for a year and ( i had a baby by him) now she is 7 year old i just did stop there 3 years went by we was still in love i had another baby by him he i 4 years old now me and his brother got back togater bein togather for 11 years al the gather but i dont lve him no more i love his brother and we lve each other we still meet up togather still to this day but i have mess around with him in 7 mos we see each other sum times we stay 32 mils away from each other we talk on the phone we text too i got feelin for my bf but i dont wount him no more i wount to be with his brother well his big brother he is 34 and his brother is 36 and am 27 years old i kow i done mess up alot cuz am the only one that has kidz by my bf brother so sum one help me and tell me what to do i have read a story like mines yat is am a realy bad person? i wount to tell him about the kidz but his brother told me not to tell him we are stay togather now (well we been stay tgather off in on he been live with me )
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2010): I am currently in the same situation. Over the summer, i had gotten in a little bit of trouble with the law with my ex-boyfriend. Nothing really happened to me, but he on the other hand, was sent away for a month. I was absolutley in shock and i couldnt take the pain. Later that summer, i had met his brother at a party. His brother reminded me soo incredably much of him, and he made me feel like i was somewhat around my boyfriend again. My first impression of him was wow, hes just like his brother. The next night, we had seen eachother again at the same party.. and it seemed as though he was into me. And even though i knew it was wrong, i was into him too.. only because he made me feel as though i was with his brother again. My boyfriends brother and i kept talking all weeked, and it was clear to both of us that we were into eachother. one thing turned into another and the next thing we knew, we were dating. His brother came back later that month and clearly wanted nothing to do with me. And of corse i wanted him back, but at that point, i had gotten myself wayy too involved with his brother, and it was too late to turn back. Now, its been about 6 months of me being with his brother, and now i want him back. i keep thinking about all the good times we've had, and i cant get him out of my head now. This was definately the worst mistake ive ever made. I'm in love with both brothers.. and now i dont know what to do.
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reader, Bearbaby  +, writes (21 January 2010):
I am so comforted to see so many other people in this position and what a horrible position to find yourself in! I have been with my boyfriend for nearly 7 years now. We have, against the odds, made a go at things and I can honestly say that I do love him. However, recently his brother has returned to the country after serving in Iraq for many years. He has sepaerated from his wife and has moved back to England permenantly. He started to send me text messages that have gone from friendly to more than just friendly and on a couple of occasions we have agreed to meet up for something that deep down I guess we both know we shouldn't do. Both of us have decided against pursuing it due to our love for my boyfriend.It is so hard when you know that your life could perhaps be brighter with someone else but you know how much it would hurt people if you followed your true emotions. I am a sensible person who has never been in love with 2 people at the same time before but you cannot help how you feel. I do wonder if the 'what if' factor can be just as damaging than actually persuing it but only we know how we feel and whether we are prepared to take those risks. My instincts are to say 'Go for it! You only live once' but in reality it is never so simple.
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reader, wisenow +, writes (2 September 2009):
I was in the same position a few years ago when i met my ex bf's brother in a club. I broke up with bf as he was pushed into marrying some woman. I already felt something for ex bf brother when i met him but pushed feelings aside as i started to date the other. When we did meet at club he kissed me and i tried to stop him telling him it wasn't right but he assured me all was ok that he had feelings for me too.We kept meeting for the obvious, the mention of a relationship was a no no. Our bond felt special we felt good together but neither could explain why we felt like that.Anyway when i kept asking if we could make our relationship official he kept replying he didn't want to a full time relationship. I on the other hand did want have a proper relationship, this went on/off for a few years.My advice is it's a very awkward relationship to be in, when you may have shown feelings to other brother you dated, the next brother must feel second best and i think this is why we never moved to the next level.I did it, it was very difficult but i did it i stopped seeing him and i convinced myself i had to move on, i soon met someone who showed me he loves and respects me and we now have a beautiful daughter. However strong my feelings were for the brother i wish i didn't leave it for so long.Don't waste your years, they're only valuable to you. By the way the brother has also moved (considering he said he didn't want to) and he is married with children.Sorry about long answer but thought by giving my experience it would make more sense of what i am trying to say.Take care hope this helps.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2009): OK I do not want to sound cliche or be judged right off the bat... matters of the heart are uncontrollable and were only human. One can't prevent how they feel or what the heart wants. I have been dating my current boyfriend for a little over a year, as of right now things aren't going good and were seperated or broken up at the moment. My main problem is I accidentally fell in love with his older brother. This definitely not something I planned or wanted to do, it just literally happend. We all hang out together and have the same group of friends so as time when by we got closer and closer and talked more and more. I have always been attracted to him but I was scared off in the begging due to him being extremely intimidating and me judging him.But in the last few months we became best friends and talk everyday. He shares the same feelings with me but we both believe it will never happen because it's wrong and we don't want anyone to get hurt. He told me he has liked me since the first day I meet him( when i was not dating his brother) and his feelings has only gotten deeper and stronger as time went on. We agreed to just be friends and ignore our feelings but I know that is impossible because feeling like this just do not go away. He has not had a girlfriend the entire time I have known him and he never shows interest towards other girls besides me. The sad thing is I do love my current bf or previous bf too. He is a great guy, he never treats me bad and is a genuinely nice, loving, and happy person... I do love him but I just do not believe he is right for me, but i have felt this way even before my feelings and his brothers feelings were apparent. I'm so confused and the heart knows what it wants but I do not believe I will ever get what I want. They both love me very much and want me and I do not know what to do. I am nothing special and I try not to be misleading or play games I am a very honest person and I would love to tell him everything thats going on but I do not want to hurt him. I love that so many more people out there are in the same dilema I felt so alone.. but I keep hearing about how everyone feels and how they are confused but I haven't heard one person tell how it turned out. I just wish someone could give both stories and explain how they ended or turned out.The what if game is killing me. I love them both but I do honestly and with all my heart believe that the brother is my soul mate and perfect for me in every way and believe he will never hurt me or lie to me. Lost and Confused any helpful tips or advice would be great. Thanks
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2009): OK I do not want to sound cliche or be judged right off the bat... matters of the heart are uncontrollable and were only human. One can't prevent how they feel or what the heart wants. I have been dating my current boyfriend for a little over a year, as of right now things aren't going good and were seperated or broken up at the moment. My main problem is I accidentally fell in love with his older brother. This definitely not something I planned or wanted to do, it just literally happend. We all hang out together and have the same group of friends so as time when by we got closer and closer and talked more and more. I have always been attracted to him but I was scared off in the begging due to him being extremely intimidating and me judging him.But in the last few months we became best friends and talk everyday. He shares the same feelings with me but we both believe it will never happen because it's wrong and we don't want anyone to get hurt. He told me he has liked me since the first day I meet him( when i was not dating his brother) and his feelings has only gotten deeper and stronger as time went on. We agreed to just be friends and ignore our feelings but I know that is impossible because feeling like this just do not go away. He has not had a girlfriend the entire time I have known him and he never shows interest towards other girls besides me. The sad thing is I do love my current bf or previous bf too. He is a great guy, he never treats me bad and is a genuinely nice, loving, and happy person... I do love him but I just do not believe he is right for me, but i have felt this way even before my feelings and his brothers feelings were apparent. I'm so confused and the heart knows what it wants but I do not believe I will ever get what I want. They both love me very much and want me and I do not know what to do. I am nothing special and I try not to be misleading or play games I am a very honest person and I would love to tell him everything thats going on but I do not want to hurt him. I love that so many more people out there are in the same dilema I felt so alone.. but I keep hearing about how everyone feels and how they are confused but I haven't heard one person tell how it turned out. I just wish someone could give both stories and explain how they ended or turned out.The what if game is killing me. I love them both but I do honestly and with all my heart believe that the brother is my soul mate and perfect for me in every way and believe he will never hurt me or lie to me. Lost and Confused any helpful tips or advice would be great. Thanks
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reader, eac78 +, writes (25 July 2009):
my new best friend feels the same way. i helped her with this also. you should ask yourself questions about what you see in a guy and give them a point..... in the end you'll know whichone to choose
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2009): wow, I'm in this deliema right now. My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 1/2 years and just recently I started feeling for his brother. It's terrible because my boyfriend and I are a little rocky right now so I don't know if it's because of that or if it's something I really feel. My bf is amazing but he can be verbally mean sometimes and his little brother tells me he's never going to change. And a while back at his dads house a couple that his father was friends with told me, I'll end up with his brother instead of him. I want to give it a couple months, see how our relationship goes, if it gets better...if not ...should I tell his brother??
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reader, live then die +, writes (26 May 2009):
i dont really know what to tell you. but im in love with brothers friend hes three years older then me and has a girlfriend i dont know how he feels but everyone including me has told him that i like him just not that i love him. (no one else knows) so i really dont know what to do. but sometimes you really just have to take a leap and hope not to fall. so if you really love him. go for it thats my best advice
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2009): Excuse me, but what is wrong with all of you scandalous and cheating women??!!
There are families, other girlfriends and children involved in all of these different scenarios that you all seem to feel is ok to destroy.
My boyfriend that I love very much is sleeping with his brother's wife and it makes me sick! His brother works out of town and they have 2 small kids.
Not to mention, I no longer have a bf!
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reader, Ilovehim x +, writes (9 February 2009):
i have a amazing boyfriend but im in love wiv his stepbrother but the thing is i dont want to hurt my boyfriend coz i love him as well all i can say is find out if he likes you if he likes u bonus but this could cause problems and ur boyfriend wouldnt be happy if something happend between u and his brother hope it all works out x
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2009): well i dont judge you guys i cant.. other people judge us but its not our fault we cant help who we love its the heart.. i am in the same situation and i know it sucks because i am with my man which is the brother of the 1 who i really want to be with & they look so much alike! it hurts so bad especially to know that i could have been with him from the beginning and i chose wrong and every time we see eachother its like there is something there...i really want to be with him but i dont have the courage to tell him and i will end my relationship with his brother way before i think of tellin him... :(
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reader, alexus516 +, writes (5 January 2009):
 I am in the exact same situation. My boyfriend (19) and I have been dating for a month, and, he is a great guy, very sweet, attractive....but, recently, after meeting his younger brother (who is 17,)I can't stop thinking about him. We talk when I am over at my BF's house, and he always looks at me whenever he is talking to my BF or any of his friends. He smiles at me too, and he and I are so much alike, but, we are also, astrologically speaking, opposites. Complementary Taurus and Scorpio. I just feel this magnetism, and this energy, it flows right thru me like magic. It puts me to shame sometimes, and I cry. It tears me up on the inside not knowing how he feels, and not letting him know how I feel. Then, the shame of feeling this way for my boyfriends younger brother just puts a dagger thru my heart. I really like my boyfriend, but, his brother....his magnetism and his aura.....it's almost too much to bear for me sometimes.
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reader, mlsmls +, writes (5 December 2008):
Oh my god, i am in exactly the same position as you. I really fancied my boyfriends brother before i got with my boyfriend. Me and his brother were always texting and emailing one another, nothing ever came of it cos one day i got a call from his mobile and it was his secret girlfriend he was with.well she wanted to know what was going on as she read all the text messages. He never did give me an explanation to why he strung me along but he sounded so genuine at the time. Any way i got with my boyfriend knowing they are brothers, and it was only today the brother and his girlfriend had a baby... And if im honest it has gut me so much cos i wish it was me he was having a baby with...
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reader, Coopylou  +, writes (20 October 2008):
Oh my god are we that many? What I have to say is that it is easy for people that haven't been through a similar situation to say we are pervs or something... my best friend called me "sick" when I told her my story... I don't think like this at all... what I am is a woman in love... not just that... very in love.. so read my story and reach your own conclusions... It was this summer when I met him.... I liked him for years and years... he was the most handsome guy of my summer island.... so I never expected that he would pay any kind of attention to me but..he did, he had a relationship with another girl for 5 years and I knew it, he told me he liked me A LOT and that he wanted to break up with his girl to be with me. that night I couldn't believe this was happening to me. We spend 2 days together.... of course he also had to see his girlfriend too... anyway... there comes his brother (my current boyfriend). We met one night.. he told me he had seen me first and that he knew that I had a relationship with his brother... but he didn't care because he had wanted me for so long... so he left me the option.. which one to choose. He told me that his brother wasn't going to break up with his girl for any reason and he offered me a relationship which was what I wanted at the time... so i got mad and I accepted the offer. I told him that I need to talk to his brother first about this and he told me that he would do it so I let the two of them talk.Next day his brother wouldn't even look at me. He didn't want to talk to me, to be in the same club with me, to be with the same people that were our common friends a few days ago, he didnt't want to be around me at all... I knew he wanted me... I could see it in his eyes, others that knew about us were telling me the same too. Anyway, right now I'm with my boyfriend for 4 months, we live all 3 in the same house. His brother looks like he is over me but I can't really tell... how can it be over? We shared a love story back on that island, the fact that I am with his brother right now doesn't mean anything. My boyfriend studies in Australia so I see him rarely. I wish his brother will come back to be.. if he asks me I could end everything right now to be with him... if only he asks me to... god I love him so much. I sleep in his bed with his brother and I think of him. We are making love with his brother and I think of him... his touch.. his kisses... his everything.. He was so perfect.... he broke up with his girl and now he is single but he is not making any move at all.. Why????? I know he wants me... I can see it, I can feel it. He can't be in the same room when I am with his brother... I know he wants me damn it and I know he will return to me.., maybe not now but when I'll break up with his brother I swear to god I'll be with him and I will never let him go again... never.. I love him... but right now I'm with his brother and this guy really loves me a lot. He knows I still have feelings for his brother but he stays with me... because he really loves me... so I guess that for the time being I have to rip every piece of his brother from my heart and from my mind... but this is only temporarily... he will be mine... oh yes... so soon....
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2008): I found it strange that Im in love My ex-boyfriends brother. I got to be tripping right? All I do is think about him all day every day! this can't be good.Some shit is about to go down if I spill about the way I fell!!!!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2008): i went out with my bfs brother for a little while when i was 16, was just an innocent childhood thing but now I am scared 11 years later that when i see him again my feelings for him will be back and i dont want that to happen cuz i love my bf a lot.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2008): i am relieved (like so many of the other readers) that i am not alone in going through this. I dream about him all the time, and during the day sometimes I cant stop thinking about him. but i wont ever do anything about it(make a move) because that would be a b*tch move and I wouldnt want to hurt his (brother's) wife or my bf, because I love both of them very much too...but not in the same way as I feel about his brother. I am just going to never say anything and continue my relationship w/my bf because it is a good one. i just wish i could be with his brother and not have to worry aobut any consequences...but oh well THAT'S LIFE!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2008): I am confused , I like him, My boyfriends brother, but it cant be right...cant it?
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2008): I am kind of going through the same thing. I broke up with my boyfriend for other reasons( i felt like i fell out of love with him) He is 21 and I'm 18. We have become great friends and i feel like some of my emotions are returning for him like i will want to be his boyfriend and kiss and be involved. but I now have a crush on his younger brother who is 16. I think i am going crazy, he is so immature but those feeling i can't turn off. i will not act upon those thoughts but it is hard to be true friends with my ex when i have a crush on his younger brother
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2008): I'm sooo happy to Know im not alone in this world feeling the same. I'v been with my bf for 8 yrs now we have a baby girl who is two yrs, we lived 2gehter for 2yrs and everthing went down hill and i start to fall out of luv with him. I don't know how it happen but i start to fall in luv with his younger borther and he feels the same way for me. My bf got locked up for 5 months and me and his brother start seeing each other he really luv me when my bf came out of jail we both told him how we feel for each other and that we have had sex behind his back more then once in that we are really in a relatinship my ex bf told me he forgives and still wants to be with me and his brother is waiting on me so now i'm so confuse i want to be with his brither but i just know ppl wont approve it BUT WE LUV EACH OTHER SOOO MUCH i just didnt expect my ex bf to still want to be with me............I can tell you guys that its better to speak the truth you will feel alot better they are still great bothers there friendship hasnt change my ex bf told his lil bro to make me happy because he couldnt did it my ex also told me if i date his bro and it doesnt work out he will be waiting for me :O) NEVER THOUGHT THEY WOULD BOTH BE IN LUV WITH ME I WANT MY EX TO HATE ME FOR IT AND IT TRUNED OUT DIFFERNT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2008): i'm in the same situation,i've been having an affair with my mans older brother for 11yr, i'm 29 & he is 39 now.
he stays in a different country, & both our partners are aware we really like each other, i know he loves me, & he is always arguing with his wife wen he visits on holiday, he has always said he wishes we had met first, we just connect & match each other so well, i am well aware how dangerous it is to get involved in a situation like this, but u cant help who u fall in love with, i really wish it had never started, & i know we will get caught sooner or later, it's just a matter of time
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 December 2007): hi, i'm in a similar situation. i met my bf first, and when we first met, i thought i'd marry him because he's such a stable, nice, sweet guy and all - he's got everything you'd want in a potential spouse. but i think i'm falling in love with my boyfriend's younger brother. and i think his brother has feelings for me too. but, both of us didn't act upon them because my bf meant a lot to us, i guess we want to protect my bf... and both my bf's bro and i, are people who cherish family relations a lot. we tried distancing ourselves from each other. but, somehow feelings grow, and the emotions come back when we see each other.the reason why this happens is because my bf's bro and i connected on a deeper level than i did with my bf. what started out as innocent conversations soon turned into long and intimate sharing sessions. i guess we cherish this connection we have, and enjoys each other's company.up till now, we've treated each other only as family/friends, and has not crossed the line. i've never felt as torn before.. i love my bf and do not want him to be hurt.. yet, that connection with his brother, and those feelings i have for him, cannot be denied... and who knows what will happen between us should these feelings develop into something more. i thought of leaving both of them before. but that would also mean leaving two of the ones i loved the most. and two of my best-est friends...
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reader, diamondcitygyrl +, writes (18 December 2007):
Wow...I'm in a similar sitution. I'm in love with my baby's father's brother. Me and my baby's daddy were never in a serious relationship. And I don't think that he wants anything to do with me on that level anyway. Me and his brother are currently in a serious relationship and we love each other very much. But it's a secret because we know his mother will never approve. We've been through a lot of stuff, I'm in love with him and I really think we're destined to be together.
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reader, diamondcitygyrl +, writes (18 December 2007):
Wow...I'm in a similar sitution. I's in love with my baby's father's brother. Me and my baby daddy was never in a serious relationship. And I don't think that he wants anything to do with me on that level anyway. Me and his brother are currently in a serious relationship and we love each other very much. But it's a secret because we know his mother will never approve. We've been through a lot of stuff, I'm in love with him and I really think we're destined to be together.
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reader, soulmate +, writes (28 September 2007):
Ladies, Im so happy I came across this site. Its good to know that Im not the only one going through this. The feelings that Im feeling are very deep like no other. Ive been with my boyfriend for about 7 years now and I knew that I ddint want to be with him a lifetime shortly after we meet I would say about a year I met his brother the first time we meet I noticed that he would just stare at me then it was kind of uncomfortable. The second time we meet it was like magic hit me we glanced into each others eyes and I felt this awesome feeling like love but morew intense it hit me so hard that I felt embarressed and had to quickly look away ever since then he has been on my mind. Everytime that Im around him the chemistry is sooooo right everything feels so right its like I know that we are made for each other. Although we never talked about our feeling with each other its like we just know I know that he can feel what Im feeling and he wants to be with me just as much as I want to be with him. Its just that my boyfriend is in the way I dont want to hurt him and he doesnt either.I really truly feel that he is my soulmate Its like I can feel him and vibe with him from miles away we exchange energy all of the time. Its a wonderful feeling even though we havent spoken about our feelings for each other when im in a room with him there may be other women in the room with us its like his focus is on me I can feel and also at time see him looking at me. Which gives me a nice feeling. The only thing that is keeping us from each other is my boyfriend. And our relationship is so messed up right now. It hurts me being with him. especially knowing that my soulmate, my lover, my lifetime partner, my other half, the father of my children, my husband is waiting on me. In some cases ladies it could be a crush in other cases it may be a sign from God letting you know that you are with your destiny. Dont worry about what society says about your situation. Just love each other with all your hearts, minds, and souls. Everything happens for a reason feelings happen for a reason maybe its to teach you a lesson who knows. But follow your heart. I know that soon Im going to be with my baby and were going to live happily ever after.
SOul MaTE
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2007): Hey. Well I have been dating my boyfriend for 7 months now and he's asked me to marry him and everything. But he has an older brother who I happen to find deviously sttractive. But my maturity comes in realizing that he's someone i could never date. It's more of a sexual attraction. I talk to him a lot and we joke around all the time. we hit it off really well, but i also feel a little bit of tension when i'm around it.
my solace comes in knowing that i'll get over it one day..it's just a crush and ill look back and see how silly it was. Plus i know i would be so hurt if the same thing were happening to me. therefore i'd never indulge this to my bf.
i love my boyfriend so much and things are quite perfect. I have no reason or silly desire to mess things up.
but im not gonna lie. if things go terribly wrong and become irrepairable and we break up, his brother is the first person i would probably go after in secret.
LOL ;)
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2007): I am in the same situation. except the guy is not really my boyfriend, we're not serious, we just have fun. and I liked his brother first.
I'm glad I came here and found out that there are other girls in similar situations.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2007): hi, i know exactly how you feel. I am in love with my boyfriends brother and i do not love my boyfriend so much. I would do anything to be able to be with his brother without hurting my boyfriend. I have no idea what to do either, but at least you know this isn't as horribly uncommon as you think, and i think i am relieved reading these other responses.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2006): I am also atracted to my boyfriend's brother and wish I wasn't!!! I know he feels the same way. I am happy with my partner though but sometimes think what it cud be like help!!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2006): It's natural for people to get bored after a while, especially in relationships. So it's a normal thing to become attracted with someone new or someone mysterious, like his brother. Then, when we get attracted with someone, we often imagine what it is like to be with that person, or what he would be like as a boyfriend. We'd attribute traits or habits to this person. For example, if this guy I'm attracted to knows how to play a guitar, I would often fantasize that he'd play for me. Or that when he becomes my boyfriend he'll give me roses and chocolates, or that he'd share my passion for art, or that he'll be very sensitive to my needs. There is really nothing wrong with fantasizing about a guy you're attracted to, but very often it only makes you see the person in the way you want to see him. In philosophical terms, you're objectifying the person.I've been with my boyfriend for a little less than three years now, and I still keep learning new things about his personality. So what's the point in all this? If you're attracted to your boyfriend's brother, it's probably because they have a similar genetic make-up and upbringing, plus the "traits and characteristics" you have attributed to him. I've been having the same problem since september of last year and I really did a lot of thinking. I was starting to become attracted with my boyfriend's brother who was showing signs that he liked me too. I love my boyfriend a lot so I didn't do anything. After all how sure am I about his brother's character? Besides if I break up with my boyfriend and started going out with his brother, what kind of man would that make my boyfriend's brother? Would he go out with the girl who dumped his brother for him? (Even if my relationship with my boyfriend is not doing well I still would not go for his brother, because it would cause serious damage to their family.) I would say that you have no business in trying to find out what his brother feels for you. If you want to go out of the relationship, then do so, but do not let your decision be dependent on his brother's feelings for you. If you feel that your relationship won't work because you can never be truly happy, then go out, but you have to remember that in being true to your feelings you also have the responsibility to be FAIR to both men.There are more things to relationships than emotions. If relationships are all about emotions, then they are nothing but disposable instruments for the gratification of one's desire of the moment. Love is not just an emotion, it is also an act of will :0)
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2005): I'm in the same situation, except I wouldn't say that I'm as unhappy with my boyfriend as you are. I think our situation is quite common, look at the other readers’ responses. You may find (I know I do) that when things aren't going right in a relationship, you start looking for potential beaux and get caught up in infatuations. Boyfriend’s brothers (and friends) are common for emotional outlets where we can daydream about them without feeling tremendously guilty... because, hey at least they’re not some random guy! And also if we love, or loved, our boyfriend, their brother will probably have similar qualities or values that we admire in him. It can be very easy to get caught up in a boyfriend’s brother, since they do share 50% of their genetic makeup and most likely had a similar upbringing. It sounds to me that you’re pretty sure that things are over with your boyfriend. It would be wrong of you to pursue his brother behind his back. I understand that you don’t want to be left single and rejected by both brothers, but you should break up with your current boyfriend. The next step would be to inform ‘the brother’ of your feelings and that you have ended things with your boyfriend. Let him know that you are interested in seeing him on a more serious level, but you understand that, like you said, you’re walking on dangerous ground. Let him know that you’re willing to wait until emotions have calmed down before trying to give it a go... given that the brother is interested. Hopefully over time your ex will act mature and wont try to sabotage your relationship too much. Best of luck, it’s a sticky situation but plenty of others have been in your place.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2005): Wow... I am in the same situation totally. I met my bf and his brother at the same time and while I love my bf, I just don't feel like he's the one for me yet his brother has become my best friend and I'm so falling for him.
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reader, missbunbury +, writes (11 November 2005):
 You're not being very fair on either of these men. You say "I am not happy with my boyfriend" - if this is the case, then why haven't you already finished things with him? It sounds as if you're reluctant to be single, and you only want to break up with your man if you have another one lined up ready to go. Why is this? I sense some insecurity here.
The thing is, if you do go straight from one brother to another, it's going to have a lot of consequences, some of whih will probably affect innocent people. How do you think your current boyfriend would feel if you started showing up at family events with the other brother? How do you think their parents would feel if they were caught between their arguing sons? And how do you think your new man would feel if he gave up his fmaily to be with you, only to find himself alone when you decide there's someone else you need to be with? And let's not beat around the bush, that probably is what would happen, because at the moment you don't seem mature enough to have a proper relationship.
I'll be honest, I doubt that your feelings for this man's brother are really love - it's more likely that you've been looking around because you're not happy with what you've got, and you've fixated on someone who provides a 'forbidden love' thrill, so that you've got something to think about other than the real issue, which is that you need to end things with your current boyfriend.
My advice to you is to finish this relationship, and then have no further contact with either brother for at least six months. In the meantime, don't get embroiled in anything else, just enjoy being single and learn to like yourself a bit more. If you still have these feelings for the other man after this time, you could try dating him without getting the rest of the family involved. This will have two positive effects - first you'll be able to get to know each other without causing huge family rows, and secondly it'll let you find out whether it's really him as a person that you like, or just the fact that he's 'exciting' because he's your boyfriend's brother.
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reader, Belle +, writes (11 November 2005):
His brother might or might not be stringing you along.
The important thing is that you're not in love with your boyfriend, and won't be if you stay with him
At least if you break up with your boyfriend you have a chance with his brother!! and it sounds like quite a good chance - go for the brother! I did it and never regretted it!!
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reader, sexseahot +, writes (11 November 2005):
 Well first off, if you're not happy with your relationship that you are in now, get rid of your boyfriend and then start worrying about his brother. Maybe his brother knows that his feelings are wrong and don't want to act upon this knowing that you're his brother's girlfriend.
You are right, this is very dangerous ground to be walking on. I think maybe you should get rid of your boyfriend and then find out about his brother. You want to know if his brother is stringing you along, but you're stringing your boyfriend along. Does that bother you? It's not exactly fair to your boyfriend for you to be worrying about if his brother is stringing you along and you caring about how his brother is feeling about you. You're kinda be selfish here and you're not really doing anything to help out any situation, but hurting your boyfriend, which isn't right either. Just let him go and let him move on with his life as well with yourself with yours. You both have a right to be happy, and if not together, then seperately, then you can go for his brother and see how he really feels, but you should probably take it really slow because of your boyfriend's feelings. Be careful on what you're doing, don't get in between these two brothers, then nobody really wins the situation.
Good Luck! Hopefully you make some good choices and become a bit happier.
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reader, xxxSXCxxxAMYxxx +, writes (11 November 2005):
i reckon that if you told his brother how you feel, then maybe he will tell your bf and then you will lose them both!!! i'm not saying you have to take my advice but i've learnt the hard way!!!! and i wasnt nice!!!!
so i would keep it a secret for a while until he gives you signals that he wants you too, and that he feels the same way!!!!
good luck hunni
~amy~
xxxxx
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