A
female
age
41-50,
*urning
writes:I have had the same best friend for 10 years, and she is one of 8 kids. Her youngest brother (of 6 years) and I have always been really close friends. Finally last summer we were drunk one night and ended up together. It happened a few times after that and then I didn't see him for a few months. Well, it's been happening a lot since Christmas (drinking not involved), and I've finally admitted to myself that I love him. Problem is, he has a girlfriend he started dating around when we were first together. I have held him at arm's length since we have known each other, before he was too young but now that he's not I've too afraid to admit my feelings. And now they are out of control. To top it off, my best friend freaked out over the weekend and is wanting to confront her brother about cheating (she's not mad at me really, mostly annoyed with him, she knows I've had feelings for him for years.) I am taking full responsibility for what I've done, and I know it can't happen again. Is there any way to make the situation any easier/better? It's wrecking my head...
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female
reader, TELLULAH  +, writes (12 March 2008):
 You hardly held him at arms length did you?. You knew he had a girlfriend and yet you slept with him on numerous occasions. I dont think there is anything wrong with the feelings that you have for him, but you really need to see if he feels the same way. And if he does, then he shouldnt be sleeping with you behind his current girlfriends back. If your mate can accept that you like him, then there is no reason why it couldnt work. But it does sound to me like you have been used a bit. Why not give him a wide birth until he knows what he wants. Just dont let yourself be a bit on the side.
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (12 March 2008):
You've hooked up with him a few times, even though you knew he had a girlfriend and now you are in love with him? I would say love is a really strong word to use here.I feel you may have put him on a pedestal because you can't have him. Is he really as great in real life as you have made him in your head? And don't forget that if he cheated with you, he's very likely to cheat on you.He's getting easy sex from you and then you are just taking the fact that he's then going straight back to ANOTHER WOMAN. Do not have contact with him again until he splits up with his girlfriend and is willing to commit to you. If you do then you are selling yourself short.Think of him as like a drug. Go cold turkey and keep away from temptation of even seeing him. This guy is a cheat and he needs to deal with that. He is treating you badly and you deserve better. Get out, meet new people, date new guys, have a life.Good Luck x
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (12 March 2008):
 You are a victim of circumstances and if you want to end this, you will have to walk away from them and start a new life again.If your love for him is strong, you will have to wait if he will dump his other g/f for you.Otherwise , you need to move on.
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