A
male
age
30-35,
*jandy1990
writes: I've been in love with someone who has grown to be my best friend over the course of the last year. We met online, and met in person this time last year. Since then he has had a string of boyfriends, all of which failed, and he blames me for those failings (probably because I'm the nearest thing to blame because he doesn't want to blame himself. ) The day we met, he kissed me, and I have never forgotten it, and as much as I have tried to let go I can't, I am in love with him and I can't help my feelings.When I have confronted him about it he says it makes him "uncomfortable" and that's the end of it. I am on the point of moving half way across the country with him in September, as we are both going to university. I am only moving up there because I thought I might have the smallest chance with him. I'm in love with him, more than any of the guys who have failed, and I can't see myself being with anyone else but him. I don't think I can cope with this much longer, please help :(
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Uncle Sneaker +, writes (1 July 2008):
If he has told you that a relationship with you makes him "uncomfortable" then all you're doing is creating more and more heartache for yourself.
It's tough, but for your own sanity you need to try to move on.
It might feel impossible that there could be anyone else for you, but try to consider it rationally. In our whole lives most people only get close to perhaps a hundred people at the very most. There are millions and millions out there - it would be too much of a coincidence to imagine that we really meet the only person we could ever love. There's another lover for you somewhere, and one who won't feel uncomfortable with your relationship. Go find him.
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