A
female
age
30-35,
*add Girl
writes:im in love with my boyfriend but he still has a girlfriend i knew he had a girlfriend before we got together but i let my feelings get the best of me and started going out with him anyway.. he tells me he's not happy with her anymore and what they had is fading he says he's falling in love with me and that i make him happy we been together for awhile but he's still with his girlfriend he says its because its not that easy to just brake up with someone. but going behind her back isnt right either!( i feel really bad about everything)i havent asked him to leave her because i wanted it to be his choice now im in love with him and dont want to share him when would be the right time to ask him to leave her? do you think he will leave her to be with me?
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female
reader, Badd Girl +, writes (21 July 2010):
Badd Girl is verified as being by the original poster of the question yes we had sex one time he was my first! neither of us have done anything like this before.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (18 July 2010):
 You are "the Other Women" not the girlfriend. Obviously the guy has no morals and no problem stringing along two girls...
He isn't going to dump her and be your man or he would a long time ago. And ... have you considered that IF he does leave her and hook up with you, that he will find another "Other Woman"?
Good luck,
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (18 July 2010):
You're not his girlfriend. She's his girlfriend. You're just his bit on the side. There's no easy way to say that at all. But you're being used here. He's a cheat, and will always be a cheat. He's cheating on her with you, and he will cheat on you with someone else. Why would you want to live with a guy who treats his girlfriend like this? He won't dump her, and even if he does, the same thing will happen to you. Dump him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2010): He's having his cake and eating it . . .Its really easy to leave a relationship if your not happy! Fact is he's probably not that commited to you as youd like to think. Sorry to sound harsh !
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A
female
reader, xanthic +, writes (18 July 2010):
 This situation is an absolute mess. You knew he had a girlfriend, but still conveniently ignored that fact and started dating him anyway. You've given him the choice to break up with her, and guess what? He hasn't. That alone should tell you everything you need to know.
As things are now, he has two girlfriends. As long as you're allowing it to continue, what reason does he have to break up with her? He's with both of you at the same time because he can get away with it. If he really wanted to end that relationship he would've done it by now.
He's not serious about being with you and only you, and he's not going to leave her if there's no incentive to. Instead, he'll string you along and give excuses.
Bottom line, you should've set ground rules from the very beginning, i.e. if he's still with someone else, he can't have you. Never have this discussion after you've started dating, otherwise you're just allowing yourself to become the 'other woman'.
Now, hypothetically, let's say he does break up with her. How do you know he won't do the same thing to you, and start seeing another girl behind your back? Most likely, he will.
This may help: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/what-to-do-when-the-person-youre-attracted.html
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A
female
reader, johannabanana +, writes (18 July 2010):
 Stop talking to him.... When He realizes you haven't said anything to him lately he will ask you why and you should just flat out tell him I'm not going to come second to another girl. I deserve more than that... If he still won't break up with that girl he doesn't want you. I also have to ask you... Are you and him having sex? Because if you are that could change a lot of things. I would need to know the answer to that to further help you.
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