A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:theres this girl at my school who im friends with and also who i love.last weekend i final worked up the courage to ask if she had a boy friend and if she wanted one.she answered no she doesnt have a boyfriend and she doesnt really want one. and even if she did want one she doesnt like me in that way, but she does likes me in a good friend way.i told her that im cool with that, but now i realized that im always going to love her.what should i do since she only wants to be friends but im still in love with her, which makes it weird being around each other. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (8 February 2010):
 You got way out ahead of yourself there. You ask her on a date first, before asking if she wants a boyfriend. How would she know if she'd like you as a boyfriend? That's a pretty big step, and you hadn't proven yourself to be a good date yet.
You are now indeed in the friend zone and the only way out is to change her perception of you. You do that by convincing her friends that you are a great guy and an amazing catch. Shift your focus off her and widen your scope here.
You don't want her to get the idea that you're so changeable, but that you are very comfortable in your own skin, that you are attractive and confident, and that eventually one of her friends will scoop you up. Make friends with her friends, if you're not already, and start to flirt a bit with them. I don't mean to come on to them, I mean acknowledging that they are feminine and appealing and that you appreciate them. She'll see her friends reacting to you in this way, and it might get her to reevaluate her assessment of you.
Good luck.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2010): To stop being weird around her you need to "own" what you did. You are a man and a man accepts what he has done and moves on. Give her some space. In a while you can laugh or make jokes about your crush and pretend you're over it. Don't try too hard though.
Don't apologize because you have nothing to be sorry for.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2010): My friend, i feel your pain. You need to get away from her. You should probably stop contacting her for a while and pursue some other prospects. This will make you feel better about yourself and it will make her realize that you won't always be there to be her great friend. Because after all, you are probably such a great friend because you love her.
Women often don't realize that we men sometimes provide great friendship because we love them. (or maybe they do and they take advantage).
You also need to act like a man around her, not a girlfriend. You should google the "friend zone" and how to get out of it. Because that's where you are. The great thing about escaping the "friend zone" is that even if she doesn't start to love you back, you will come to know she isn't the end-all be-all of women.
There are 3 billion women out there. If you chanced to meet this one and fall in love, there must be others out there for you.
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