A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm in love with a man who's 14 years older than me, and he's married. He seemed attracted but I cannot speak for him, so I will just speak for myself. I feel really sad about it, and everyone came hard down on me for it and stuff, telling me to back off and isolating me, though I didn't say or make a move, just talking like friends.I feel bad and sad, cos I just want to be friends and stuff. I'm not sure really what happened, any advice?I feel a bit lonely now, cos he's the only person, as a friend, that I could relate to and make me feel things aren't so scary. now, everyone kinda shuns me - I don't really know what happened. It looks like they're pushing me to move off elsewhere. I feel really sad about it and cried alot too.I'm 23. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, dapone 1  +, writes (3 February 2008):
 I think your friends are trying to tell you that a relationship with this guy is not a great idea, you should listen to them, because he is married and loves his wife, you really need to mix with people who are not marriage, no good will come of any relationship you may have, for your own sake leave this guy alone go out and find yourself friends who are single like yourself this would be a more mature idea.
A
female
reader, onlinecounsellor_Dale  +, writes (3 February 2008):
 Hi
I'm a little unclear as to the details of your situation, but what I do gather is that you are feeling alienated by people's negative reaction to your 'friendship' with this man. The other point I pick up on is that you seem to be craving the company and attention of a man whose responsibilities and commitments lie elsewhere. Have I understood correctly?
I am sorry that you are feeling sad and lonely, and hope that you are able to work through these painful feelings soon. I do not, however, believe that the man you mention should help you with this. Nor should you approach him to. There is, with few exceptions, nothing to be gained by allowing yourself to become involved with a married person, except heartache and a guilty conscience.
At 23 there are many men around your age who are single and, therefore, able to offer you the time, attention and exclusivity you deserve. For all concerned, please cast your sights in this area.
All the best and take care,
Dale
www.daleecounsel.com.au
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2008): just friends, thats all
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (3 February 2008):
 You are in love with him or you just want to be friends with him?
If you are in love with him , it is not appropriate since he is married.
You can be friends with him but his wife will surely not like the idea that he keeps seeing you .
Go out and mixed with more friends. I am sure you will find someone like him who is not married.
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