A
male
age
41-50,
*rox
writes:I'm in love with a girl from another country. Will it, can it or has this worked for anyone ever? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, czechmate90 +, writes (4 May 2009):
Jrox
I;m having very similar problems to you...I meet this girl when she came to our school on an exchange program. She had to go back home after like a month of meeting her. I've had a few girlfriends before and i have never fell for a girl this fast or hard. It's tough being away and we share the same feelings, and possibly not being able to see her in a couple years. What im trying to say is don't forget about her and whenever you can see her (im planning a trip) you just got to hope shes still available, but i think/hope for the best
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2007): hey jrox, I am currently in a LDR with a girl in China :) I live in Australia. I went to China+HK for a 1 month holiday and met my girl over in shanghai. I'll just give you a short wrap up of my time in China with her and then how the LDR is going.
When I met her, there was just a bit of physical attraction, she hung out with me and my friends for a few hours, we went to sing karaoke, ate supper, i got her number and that was it. We gave each other a hug then she shook my hand. haha! (I'm used to giving girls a kiss on the cheek when saying goodbye) I told her I'd come back and see her, she just laughed and said okay - thinking i was joking.
Anyways, after that me and my buddies left shanghai the next day to go to hong kong.. after a week in hk, and thinking about her everyday even tho i met lots of nice girls in HK.. i flew back to shanghai and i called her. she was over the moon type happy, we went out several times clubbing, dancing, shopping - just everything to be together. It only lasted for 3 days then i had to return to australia unfortunately according to my ticket.
now.. 8 months later, we have been keeping in contact by email at first, then phone calls, then snail mail, webcam, i sent her a teddy bear, flowers from her local florist on her birthday and of course we share tons of pictures. I will be flying back to China soon or she may fly to Australia, its difficult, but if you like the girl enough, try your best to make it work :)
all the best mate.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2007): I live in the US and my boyfriend lives in England. We've had a successful relationship for two years now. It can work but it's difficult and it helps if you have an end goal in mind.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2007): Hi Jrox,
Just a quick reply to say that my boyfriend is from Australia and I live in England. We met on his last night in England and kept in touch through phonecalls and emails. He has since moved over to Ireland to work and live here for a year or 2 and we are getting on so well.
Its really really hard work to keep a long distance relationship going, not to mention expensive. If you know that eventually one of you can move to be with the other than there is a chance. Keep in touch with her anyway, circumstances change and things might work out.
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A
female
reader, happytochat  +, writes (15 August 2007):
I suppose it comes down to the people. Some people can make it work, some cant. It depends what you both want out of a relationship. Write down a list of things you want and get her to do the smae. Then see if you can stll have these things with the distance. If not then you may just be going down a dead end street with a warning sign before you enter.....
Ive tried a long distance relationship before. He lived abotu a 2 day drive away from me. It didnt work for us. Mainly because in the end most poeple want the physical part of a reltionship- being able to hug, kiss etc...speaking on the phone or on the internet every day just isnt the same. And although we thought it could work in the first place, we both came to realise that it just wasnt working.
Personaly if I was you i wouldnt go down that road of having a long distance relationship no matter how great the person is, because there is alwasy going to be someone else (unless you are one to believe in soul mates...im not). So why make your life so much more diffuclt and stressful when you could have someone closer? why settle for less? and thats what you would be doing. You would be sacrificing the most intimate parts of a relationship.
However having said all that, Im not saying dont give it a go. If you feel you must give it a go then do it. I know some people, including myself, feel they need to give everything a shot, because if they dont they will always be wondering 'what if' and have some hope left. Let us know how it goes...
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A
male
reader, jrox +, writes (15 August 2007):
jrox is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI thought the part about it being a country other than my own was obvious. I'd really just like to not feel crazy when I tell myself this could work. She came on a short vacation. It was supposed to be just a fling. We speak regularly and our conversations are an abolute gas to the both of us. Whether or not she actually wants a relationship, I won't pose the question till I go visit in a month or so.
I am glad to hear that some peoples experiences with 'long distance international relations' aren't all negative. When the issue of long distance comes up, most people, including me, are very skeptical. However, I am not beyond taking a leap of faith from time to time.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (14 August 2007):
 I suppose you mean you're in love with someone who doesn't live in your own country. A long-distance, international relationship. I have seen some such relationships actually work. If you have doubts whether yours would work, won't you please give us more information.
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