A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Okay, so this is a strange problem. or maybe it isnt, i dont know. im 19 and in a serious relationship with a guy i know i want to spend my life with, and have been with him for over 3 years. but recently i felt this push from inside, something urging me to break free and just go crazy and enjoy being young. im really confused, and torn apart by my feelings. and recently i started talking to my ex, and he always seems to bring out the mad, fun, loose side in me and i love that. i dont know what to do. i want to spend my life with the guy im with now, im sure of that. but i feel like these years of my life should be spent experimenting and exploring myself and everything. am i wrong to be feeling and thinking this? I love him so so much and dont want to lose him. i feel awful. i live with him too and we've pretty much started a life together. has anyone been through anything like this? please help. my heart is breaking over this :(
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female
reader, lostone  +, writes (27 December 2008):
I really kinda felt the same way when I was 19. I was living with a long-term bf and loved him, wanted to stay with him. But then I started feeling like I wanted to break loose and just date for fun, flirt and all that. And I was spending alot of time with this guy who'd had a crush on me for years and I had the hots for.
For me, it passed and was a phase. Yes, when you're young you should have fun, you should explore and try new things. And every guy and relationship is different and might offer you some different surface things but it boils down to the same. You should be with someone you love who makes you happy. This could just be a phase for you but that's something you need to figure out. Is it worth possibly throwing away what you have now for some fun that might not bring you happiness when it's all over?
Maybe you just need to spend a little less time with your bf and get out more. Whatever you do, you should talk to your bf gently about how you're feeling so he is not left in the dark. Maybe he isn't as exciting to you as he could be since he is comfortable in the relationship, and telling him how you feel might make him try harder and could strengthen what you have.
Whatever you do, make sure it's what's best for you and try not to hurt him if you decide you need a break.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2008): Dear Wanting to Explore,
That is a tuff situation..I suggest that you talk to him about how you feel and if you feel you need a break tell him and if you love him and he loves you like you say He'll wait for you..He loves you...but most of all bring it to the Lord He knows best! I'll be praying for you!
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