A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I really need some help here. I'm in love with the most amazing girl in the world but, I feel like I am walking on eggshells. It feels like I have to think before I even do anything, because the most random things, like falling asleep on skype and not being able to pick up her calls will set her off. Anyhow here is some background informationLady is the love of my life, we have been best friends for a year and a half, we started dating 6 months ago. I'm already convinced that lady will be my wife. I know she is very strong willed, but I assume when it comes to relationships, not so much. You see when we first started dating, her good friends said that she was just leading me on since she didn't have strong feelings for me yet. (because we just started dating of course it's like that). But for some reason she let them get to her, and she up and left me. Yet the problem was resolved within two days, but the scars are still there. (because she dated our mutual friend just to peeve me off). And as time moved on lady fell deeply, no scratch that, Madly in love with me. Which is cool and all, but I think it's to the point where it's causing our relationship to become unhealthy. (hear me out). It's as if when ever I move, she moves. She has self esteem issues, depression, and many other things. Naturally, I worry so I constantly try to help her, yet she always blows me off. Or if I take a while to respond to her text or phone call (I'm busy with school and work), she gets all moopy and passive aggressive on me. Or if I'm extremely busy and for some reason we don't talk on the phone one day,'she says that i don't love her or that I'm going to leave one day. "Lady" admits that she is super clingy and emotionally dependent on me but, this worries me because I love her dearly, yet I know this is taking a toll on her. And at the moment, I'm going through one of the most difficult times in my life due to family and friend loss, so I'm a little emotionally detached. I always keep it together for her, but I just become so frustrated because I'm always in the spotlight, everything I do must be in her favour or she goes down hill. I really need advice here, because I just can't leave her alone to have her space, or she will cause pain to herself. I need to get this relationship back on track because it's at 100/0. Please and thank you.
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (30 September 2011):
 Am afraid there is nothing you can do here. She is the one that has the problem not you, and I know that you want to help her but she needs to help herself. Talk to her and tell her the relationship cannot go on like this, you are suffering in the long run because you should be able to depend on her as well. Its really unfair on you and believe me if you leave it like this you will end up resenting her in the long run. She needs to go to counselling to sort her head out. She needs help with this because it is not healthy and will destroy your relationship. This is out of your hands now you need to tell her she needs help.
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