A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:What are some tips men can give me, about how to keep things exciting in the bedroom? My b/f and I have been together 2 years and already his sex drive seems to be in neutral. No, it's not health related. No I haven't gained 30 pounds and stopped taking care of my looks. Yes, I'm open to sex toys (he is less experimental than I am)...sexy lingerie doesn't really get his blood boiling. So what works? How do men feel about long term sex? How do you think we can make it interesting and exciting for you? I'd really like to know, because I'm here for the long haul, and my b/f says he is too, but I don't want us growing bored with each other when it comes to sex. All advise is welcome, but I'd especially like to hear a man's opinion. Thanks everyone.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, rogan +, writes (20 November 2007):
The problem most women have is that once they are in a long term relationship they tend to relax a bit thinking they dont have to do much again...Not gaining weight and taking care of looks are not the things required...You do have to take out time to study ur man well...find out what really excites him and not what you think should excite him...for all u know a little extra flesh on the body might even excite him....Also find out those things he might want to try out which u've not really responded to..But while doing these dont make it so obvious...
You also have his ego to contend with...When u hit at a man's ego in any form..it has a way of killing their libido...Rather massage his ego most times (without making it obvious)and he is yours to do as u please....Goodluck
A
male
reader, TomWilkinson +, writes (20 November 2007):
 Obviously everyone has different turn ons, so any tips on what to do would just be opinion. What you could do (although I'm guessing you'll have already done so) is ask him what turns him on, if he'd like to try anything new, or flat out ask "would you do ..... with me" if there's something in particular you want to try.
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A
female
reader, Dhar  +, writes (20 November 2007):
 Um...
I'm not a man but I had this issue too. I read that sometimes it's not anything to do with you (gaining weight etc...) but his own insecurities. Maybe he doesn't feel as Sexy, maybe he's gained weight.
The issue was really bothering me for a while. I obsessed and began to resent him. What I did eventually was stop putting pressure on it. I took a step back and relaxed. I stopped looking at him hopefully as we slipped into bed but I wasn't sullen.
I got a toy and pleasured myself (discreetly - not trying to rub it in his face) to satisfy the physical needs and made sure to compliment him enough for him to know he was still attractive to me and that I still loved him.
I told him how good he looked in the shirt he was wearing or how his bum looked great in those pants or when giving him a hug before we left for work I would say that I'm so lucky to have such a handsome man in my life... ya know sweet, a tad cheesy but sincerely said compliments.
I wasn't needy or obsessed though. I was nice but I went on with my day and concerns like everything was wonderful. And as I acted like it was wonderful, it became wonderful.
The combination of sweetness and lack of pressure eventually allowed him to open up and not feel obligated to have sex. My good mood and obvious sexuality inspired the same in him. When it came naturally so did we...came that is. ;-)
Good luck and I hope men answer for ya.
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