A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I'm having a bit of a dilemma. I've been with my boyfriend for 5 years, since I was 17 and he was 16, and we really do love and care for each other. On paper, everything is great. We have had an amazing relationship, but lately I have been wanting something else.I'm only 22. Part of me, an ever-growing part, wants to be single. And just get to know myaelf more. Become more independent.We have an apartment, a cat, a dog, two cars, and tons of bills and things signed to the both of us. We are very financially intertwined. I know I could support myself on my own, but I'm afraid of hurting him. I don't want him to hate me. He's my best frjend in the world and I AM attracted to him, I DO love him. I think I just want to be by myself for a while.What do I do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (4 December 2017):
 You are both probably very different people now to what you where when you first got together. You where both young when getting together so I think what you are feeling now is normal. I get that you feel you have an amazing relationship but deep down if it was amazing then you wouldn't be getting the feelings that you are getting. I do think you should listen to yourself and give yourself some time out. I am guessing there is not children between you both so even though you have other responsibilities it is worth giving yourself the chance off being single and living your life for the time being. You are still young with your whole future ahead off yourself and it is better to say what if now than not to explore and end up married to your man and resenting him. Get whatever it is you need to do out off your system and my guess is your head will be much clearer in the future to decide what you want out off life.
A
female
reader, A_Simple_Girl  +, writes (25 November 2017):
Take a break. Sit down and talk to him, try to be kind and make him understand. It's very normal to have the feelings you're having and you need to act on it. Just spend some time by yourself, it'll either bring you closer together or end it but either way it's for the best. It's the right thing to do.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (22 November 2017):
 Write up a list of things you want to do as a single woman. I highly doubt your list will contain "have one night stands"
Then go do those things despite being in a relationship. Stop blocking yourself. Your relationship is not in the way of you finding yourself or experiencing more. You are in the way of yourself thinking you need to be single in order to live.
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A
female
reader, anonem +, writes (22 November 2017):
 Your relationship has run its course. This happens in long term relationships.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2017): Your situation reminds me so much of the one I was in..I got with my bf when I was 15 and he was 17 and we were together for 5 years as well. Everything seemed great for us as well, but I felt myself wanting to be on my own and explore other things and grow. I still loved him, but I was 20 years old and I felt like I was in a marriage sometimes. I decided to go on my own, and it did hurt him, but it was for the best honestly. Here I am 9 months later and I feel that Independence I was looking for. But what I've come to discover the most is that Im not sure I loved him the way I thought I did. I feel like if I was madly in love with him, then maybe I wouldnt of felt that way.I would say if you have this feeling of wanting to be on your own, do it. Its no fair to be halfway in a relationship, not to yourself or to him. But if you do that, make sure its what you really want. And make sure you understand that could mean him finding someone new also..Good luck!
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