A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello everyone, I'll try to make this short. I've been in a relationship with a guy for 5 years now. I used to date girls back in High School but started dating guys during college, then I met my current bf. The journey has been long, great at moments with the few rough patches. I'm still in the closet. My family knows my bf but they think he's my friend. My cousin has even tried to date him and stuff. Recently I met what seems to be the perfect girl and I can't stop thinking about her. I've talked about it with my boyfriend and he says he'll respect my desicion if I want to persue something with her. I don't know what to do. My greatest dream in life is to be a father and I think that has a lot to do with how I feel now. I'm very confused and don't know what to do.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2008): The desire to have children doesn't mean a relationship with a woman will necessarily be a success. Are you saying you a bisexual or that you are gay and want children? There is a huge difference.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2008): thanks everyone for your comments. I think I do need some time for myself. I think uraqt9697 hit the nail on the head. I think I'm just not happy in my relationship anymore and the best thing to do is take some time to evaluate myself. The last thing I want to do is hurt someone for the wrong reasons. I think I will spend some time by myself.
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A
female
reader, uraqt9697 +, writes (25 August 2008):
Are you currently getting everything you need in your relationship (attention, affection etc) If not, it could be the reason why you're reaching out to this other girl...perhaps unconciously, she can give you the things you're "missing" from your current relationship, if that's the case.
If not, I don't suggest leaving one partner for another. Rather, if you're really confused, like the other posters said, I would take some time alone to really evaluate where you're at, what you need, and where you want to be. And overall, take some time out to treat yourself and love yourself so you can be with the person who will treat you right.
I wish you luck with your situation!!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2008): your brooding is stronger than your relationship. try to explain this situation to the girl you want kids with and see if she can accomodate this situation. but dont dump something great gentle, compasionate etc. to have a child. adopt maybe or go for surrogacy with this girl. there is no perfect solution and if you and this girl become an item in public for your family (SHALLOW) your boyfriend will be slowly crushed over time into feeling like nothing worth living. you could loose more than you gain as brooding desire is strong evolutionary force but children while satisfying are a huge burden and can turn out no so amazing as we assume and then piss off when older anyway leaving you and this girl to snipe over the kitchen table in a passive aggressive manner. et. al....... by the way i am currently heading in the exact same direction as you!
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