A
female
age
41-50,
*hmyg
writes:First of all, thanks to everyone who is participating on this forum. It is very helpful. The disclosure of my long distance bf has had me in a state of utter misery and confusion. I met my boyfriend a year and a half ago in Japan. We only spent three days together but I could not get him out of my mind. We just happened to be in Japan at the same time, I'm American he's German. Anyhow, banking on a feeling, I decided to see him in Germany a month after the Japan incident. We've been dating ever since. We shuttle back and forth from the States to Germany (vice versa) every 2 to 3 months. We are committed to being with each other. It was my plan to move to Germany eventually but I still have to wait another year to finish my studies (I'm in grad school and I want to have solid job opportunities before I contemplate a move). We have a wonderful relationship. Just a week ago he disclosed to me that he fell in love with someone else. She's a friend that he has known for a while but nothing ever happened before. He said it wasn't predetermined; just hanging out with a group of friends and obviously there was some chemistry. He said he doesn't understand what's happening to him because he loves me very much and I'm probably the best relationship he's ever had. How am I supposed to take this? He told me to be strong and give him some time to sort out his feelings. I'm confused, hurt, angry -- what should I do, be understanding or just leave him?
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fell in love, long distance Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2008): This is really hard, but unfortunately quite common in a long distance relaionship...Whenever you feel down about the situation, always remember this: living far apart gives you the opportunity to grow as an individual. Some couples break up to find themselves, so maybe you will get back together! You shoul check http://www.waiit.com for more lDR advice
A
female
reader, ohmyg +, writes (9 November 2008):
ohmyg is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks icelordess for your advice. I think I'm gonna stick it out. Not because I'm hopeful that he'll "choose me" (I hate saying that) but because I need him to make the decision. If I bow out, I'm giving him an easy escape. The onus is on him.
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