A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Ok, lets make this short as possible and understandable! i am a young woman with a 4 year old beautiful baby girl that i love more than everything. i lived a very hard life in the short time I've been on this earth, bad bad childhood, i never had a mother really and my father was in prison for 5 years, and they both did hard core drugs.ok :) i turned out ok i think, im not being conceited but I'm beautiful and have a killer body even after the baby. I could probably have anyone I wanted if i put my mind to it, BUT i seem 2 be super attracted to these assholes, thugs/wannabe thugs and immature no matter how old they are. Just idiots?The baby's dad is a great guy in the marines now we were together for a long time but started way too young and made many mistakes, i tried and tired but it never seemed to work?NOW this is the issue... I've been single for 3 years since the bb dad, and im very in dependent love to have fun and just laugh n party:) but with limits, i meet this guy i really avoided 4 like ever and finally gave him a shot, he turns out to be super jelous and controlling and over protective, but was a great guy other than that? we were soooo happy i was too 4 the 1st time in forever he made me love again? Then little by little he got worse accusing me and snapping on me, saying horrible things when he was mad, im not the girly girl type no matter how pretty i am or whateva, and he blamed it all on me saying i am too nice and friendly and flirty with everyone and i went to the club for the 1st time in 5 months of being up his ass, with my girl and got tippsy and didnt want to drive home, so i stayed at her house 4 a few hours slept it off n went home, now i have dated girls before, so he thinks i cheated with her? wtf? I know it didnt look right, drunk pics kissing on cheek and smiling but i didnt cheat, EVER.Well big blow out one day i couldnt take it he kept threatnng to leave so i said, if you wanna go, GO. I came home from work and all his stuff was gone, when im nice hes so mean saying its never gonna work leave him alone he says, then i seen him 4 the 1st time in 2 weeks,like a dumby!it was firday on my bday and he was all over m, saying lets work it out bla bla then said i did have sex with some girl who meant nothing after we boke up? he said that i cheated so he banged her? i didnt cheat!broke me to peices again, the next morning i call him, he says this aint gonna work just let it go, so i freaked out 4 the 1st time, i told him stay the f--k away from me and u use ur imagination, he said, u sure, and he said have a nice life, problem is i miss him so bad but i wanna be strong. Does he love me? Will he call me? or should i just pray he dont? I'm so hurt... today is his birthday and im not gonna say nada, he ruined mine? What do i do??He's like by-polar? I'm 23 and he's 31 and he's still wak? but i love him? I'm goin nuts?i want him back but i want him to want me, i want him to feel pain like i do? i have no appetite i cant sleep and i cry instantly, That aint me!!! I feel so stupid? Why cant i leave him alone? We had great sex why did he sleep with her? He said it wasnt even worth it. yukkk.I dont handle rejection well. I gotta be strong 4 the baby. What should i do? I want him to want me again???help me please someone...
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female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (29 June 2009):
 SY gave you great advice, so all I have to add is that I've been reading this great book lately called Sucka Free Love. I think this book would bring you a lot of value and show you how to avoid bad relationships with losers. It's available at Amazon.com.
Good luck.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2009): Sorry.. got cut off.
But don't want it so bad that it manipulates you and blinds you and distracts you from what is important.
you simply need to have better taste in men. For your happiness obvsiouly, but what about your child? What about that little girl? Don't you want only the best men in her life? What sort of influence do you want to be on her? What sort of men do you want influencing her?
Not the ones you've been with i'm guessing.
Now prehaps as you were risen under certain human chaacteristics, you have grown immune to them and now even dependent, because those were all you knew ggrowing up. And i'm sure it's completely unintentional to want a man like your father, but prehaps somewhere deep down, your suncauncious is attracting you to that.
All you have to do is ignore the primary attraction you feel for men. First impressions are often not accurate anyway. Of course a man is going to be nice to you if he wants you. It's not till later that you will really know him. Once he feels more comfortable with you and feels he has you wrapped around his finger, his true colours will shine. Now fellas, take no offense becuase both men and women do this.
Just be careful of who you select. Maybe you are a person who needs to be friends wtih someone first, so that you can know him first.
You must rid all carelessness from your love-seeking personality and be with only those who after much thought and time, you deem appropriate. And if you look at your daughter and can think "I really wouldn't want her to be with someone like this" then you should probably run and very quickly.
Until yo stop getting into these bad relationships, you have to take responsibility for the unhappiness you feel with men. And you CAN be strong. I know that's what you want. Look to your future.. not your present pain.
~Sy.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2009): If you keep putting yourself in potentially hurtful situations, then you will get hurt. You are attracted to the sort of man who will hurt you but is it real attraction? I don't think so. I think it's lust when you first confront it, and you fall on it even when you shouldn't. Let lust be only lust while you find in your heart the kind of man you really need to be with. i know you're angry with him, but it's never a good idea to feel vengance for people, or to want them to feel pain. Is it human to feel that way? Some would say so, but I can only hope not. I would like to think that the general population does not want to see each other hurting. He's hurt you, he ruined your birthday, he said mean things to you, but what good will come of it if you strike back at him? Can you really fight fire with fire? Because I think that in reality, it needs to just be suffocated, deprived of air. SO that's what you should do. Deprive him of the substance that started his fire. And that's you. Don't get in touch with him, don't want him. You say you want him to want you and who doesn't want someone to want them, so that's fine but want
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