A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm hoping to go on a first date soon with someone I met online and i'm a bit rusty. We haven't actually seen each other face to face yet and i'm worried about there being a dreaded silence period, as i'm fairly shy and I think she is as well.I read somewhere that the question game can be fun to play on a first date, where you each take it in turn to ask the other person a question, like "whats the most embrassing thing you have ever done?" etc, which can lead to a lenghty conversation from the answer they give, but staying away from anything too sexual, at first anyway. Has anyone played this game at all on a first date? and how did it go, or can you recommend other ways to keep things going? I've also heard its a good idea to visit a couple of different bars to change the atmosphere a bit.
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female
reader, justme3  +, writes (25 September 2008):
be careful..you never know who's behind the monitor
A
male
reader, daletom +, writes (16 September 2008):
I think your game is worth a try. Have you mentioned the idea to her? Some might think it's childish, or at best "cute", but it could also be something you tell your grandkids about. Do all of your questions have both a safe, superficial answer as well as a deeper, more personal answer?
My wife and I met each other face to face after we had been writing to each other for over 3 months. That's not exactly the same as meeting online, but close to it. In fact, the writing was probably an excellent way for two quiet-and-shy people to become acquainted, and attracted to each other.
Our first date was a concert - a Gershwin review. Not that either of us is a huge fan of Gershwin, nor (at that time) of really serious music. In retrospect I see it provided a background of "something happening" so neither of us felt any awkward compulsion to fill the silence. You might do better with a first date of a ballgame, or a museum, or a zoo, etc so you don't feel as much "obligation" to fill the gaps.
I don't think we discussed it directly but from our writing we knew that sex was off limits for some time into the future. Again, in retrospect, that was a wise approach. It actually freed us to be affectionate and physical up to a point, without worrying that one of us would take advantage of a situation or apply pressure for something that wasn't proper. On that first date, my wife became the second girl I ever kissed - and it was very much a REAL kiss!
I hope it goes well for you two!
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