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female
,
anonymous
writes: I have been seeing this guy for a little over a year now. We have talked about sex and different precautions, but I am still hesitant because I am a virgin and he is not a small guy(6'4" and everything is proportional). How do I bring up the topic that I am more scared then anything else of haing sex with him. I have the feelings for him and he has said he loves me and he is always sweet and gentle with me in everyway. But how do you approach a subject like this. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, snowbird  +, writes (7 September 2006):
 You have been with him for over a year, so you ought to know whether he is likely to be gentle, patient and understanding with you.
Make sure that you are relaxed an take your time. Have plenty of foreplay and make certain that you are well-lubricated before any attempt at penetration.
You will have more control of things if you go on top, so you can go at your own pace. Oh, just enjoy it, I'm sure you will be fine!!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2006): even if he does hav a big un dont worry, my boyfriends is huge and at first it was a bit uncomfortable but now its great u get used to it, just be careful at first so u dnt damage yourself go slow etc dont be embarrassed to tell him i dont think he'll be put off u!!
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A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (6 September 2006):
 Everything isn't proportional. Don't know where you got that idea from.
I suggest you just express your fears to him. He'll understand and be gentle. By sharing your feelings with him you'll bring the two of you closer, as well as help you feel safe.
Be a little careful though. If you clearly expect him to have a large penis and he turns out to have a small one, it might give him a complex. I'd steer clear of mentioning size specifically (til you've seen it and know), and just say you're a virgin and are afraid... something that is very normal and natural
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2006): Have you actually seen his penis? It isn't always in proportion to a person's height and size. Chances are it is probably of normal size.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2006): Have you actually seen his penis? It isn't always in proportion to a person's height and size. Chances are it is probably of normal size.
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