A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i have been with my boyfriend for only like a month. i have fallen pretty hard for him. everything about him is perfect to me...and everything always seems to fall into place.the other day he lost his cell phone and i found it today at my house. I DID look through it...which NOW i wish i never would have found it. period. theres messages and PICTURES..(nude) of a few girls. I'M heartbroken. i want to tell him or confront him about it but i dont want him to know i went through his phone.ive been crying all day.please help me.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2008): sweetie, one month isnt long enough to know if someone is perfect for you, we are all still very much on our best behaviour in the early days and weeks,and we are all also far from perfect, dont pin all your hopes and dreams on someone so quickly in a relationship it can only lead to dissapointment as you have just discovered, i guess his phone pics are his first imperfection, there will many others to follow honey. . .leaving sweaty socks on the bathroom floor and toothpaste spilling out of the tube. dont be in such a rush to find mr perfect instead enjoy the time your having together and see where the road leads, tell him you were tempted to look at his phone but resisted and ask him to show you the content instead, give him a break you have only known him for 4 weeks, do you think he will have been thru the house and thrown all his old photos away too keep it real love take a step back and you will see you are over reacting way too soon, give him the chance to be honest and see if he chooses to delete them when he actually remembers they are there in the first place good luck xx
A
female
reader, CharmmyKitty +, writes (1 August 2008):
 I agree with the other aunts here about the photos. I wouldn't be too worried. I'm sure I have a few photos on my phone of things I wouldn't really want my boyfriend to see, just because I never go through them. You've only been together a month, so they could easily be old pics that he hasn't thought about in a while.
But I don't think you necessarily have trust issues. I mean, if I was in your position, I probably would have done the same thing. Not out of distrust, but out of sheer curiosity. Not that I'm in anyway saying that its ok, I can just sympathize with you there.
I think you do need to tell him what you saw, let him explain himself, and apologize for being nosey.
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A
female
reader, Ginger girl 16  +, writes (31 July 2008):
You need to confront him. But first you need to work out in your own head how you feel and WHY you looked through his phone in the first place. Obviously the stuff on there upset you but when you confront him its probably the first thing he'll want to know. You need to be prepared don't go and confront him screaming and crying, figure out what you want to know before you see him so that you don't come away with more questions than answers. Also figure out if you want to stay with him after what has happened. GOOD LUCK!! i hope it all works out for you :)
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A
female
reader, LIERIN +, writes (31 July 2008):
 You have to Confront him!! You have to ask him streight. It will be hard, cause he will feel that you dont trust him, but hey ... you obviulsy had the reason not to trust!!!
Maybe they are just images of some porn moviestars passed from his friends on him ... you are not saying whats in those messages ... give more info, or just talk to him.
Don't cry. Maybe its something very silly and nothing serious!
Good luck
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A
female
reader, Frenchflower +, writes (31 July 2008):
Confront him. Otherwise you'll never know what the pictures were from. Lots of guys have porn on their phones... you need to know whether these girls are women he knows personally, or just pornographic images which have been passed round between friends in the pub.
Also, you do need to ask yourself why you looked through his phone? Has he ever given you any reason not to trust him before?
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