A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Well, here is my problem, I've been dating this girl for a number of years, and we are engaged and even living together. Things sometimes are smooth, but recently I found out she had been talking to guys on Skype, nothing too bad at first, but then she she talked to a guy about how she got drunk with a girl friend of hers and did some things with her. She claimed to asked him for advice on if she should tell me before we get married. Now I know most guys would drool to have a girl that swings both ways, but to me, cheating is cheating, no matter what the circumstances. So when I confronted her about it, she said she was just talking BS, and it wasn't true. She's cheated on me in the past and I forgave her, but I honestly find it a little hard to believe she was just making crap up. And also, while getting all of this out, i bring up the fact that we never have sex, and anytime I try I get shot down. She claims she's stressed out and just isn't in the mood, and she claims that she feels pressured when I try my moves, and it puts her out of the mood. So I've given her space now, I haven't even tried to put any moves on her, and still no sex drive, is she lying to me cause I know not having sex with your partner is a sign of cheating. HELP!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2012): I've been in this boat before mate, dump her. Look at the facts and heed the warning signs. It's hard to let go of something that hurts, we become attached to pain. My humble opinion is that you need some time as a single man to get to know and love yourself. Hope you can swallow that.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2012): Seems like you got yourself in a pickle. When she cheated on you before, was it with a guy or a girl?I'm 100% behind you, cheating is cheating.By the lack of sex, I assume she is looking for attention from elsewhere. She may be talking to random guys and telling them lies just for attention purposes. Maybe she was telling the truth or not, but I wouldn't hold it against her unless you have soild evidence that she cheated on you with this girl. If its an lack of attention, try giving her some attention by doing something romantic, or woo her. Maybe she needs something fresh. Buy her flowers? Cook an romantic dinner? Do something you normally wouldn't do if not asked to do.Now, I am a female and have been dating my boyfriend for 6 months and I can't imagine going without sex once in a few days. Maybe she is overly stressed? Maybe theres a health issue? I see that your age is around 22-25, its not very common for a girl that age to not want sex.What I don't understand is why she would cheat on you twice. If she didn't want to be with you, why doesn't she leave you? Thats why I some how think shes telling the truth, maybe? I dont know. Best of luck! Communication is key!
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (13 July 2012):
 I’m a bi-sexual woman who has given up women to be with my partner… much like giving up other men…. It is what it is and I agree with you… cheating is cheating…
You forgave her in the past for cheating, and sadly many people think that same sex action is NOT cheating but I don’t see a distinction.
Cheating is anything ANYTHING you can’t won’t or don’t tell your partner… that includes chatting on Skype with strange men….
You say you NEVER have sex… well does that mean you haven’ had sex in 6 days, 6 weeks, 6 months or what? Because there are TIMES we never have sex but then there are weeks we do it 3 times in one week so that over the year it AVERAGES out…. But NEVER is different.
What are your moves that you try to put her in the mood? My guy’s moves just annoy me…
I am not cheating on him but with work, and a house renovation, and planning a wedding…. And working out… and chores…. Time is an issue…. Also I prefer morning sex he prefers it at 3 am… we have a bit of a time difference there too…
When is date night? You know… dress up… take her out to dinner and a movie? You still should woo and date her even if you live together… are please and thank you part of your conversations…
You do need to talk to her about it… she said it was BS and not true… did you ask her why she said it then?
Maybe you’ve outgrown the relationship?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2012): She's cheated on you at least once before and now she's being evasive while withholding sex from you, so at the very least you know you have no reason to trust her and she is doing nothing to regain your trust.
She should no longer be your fiancee and you should no longer be shacking up with her. Cut your losses and dump her now. She's not going to change, and if you're dumb or naive to marry her thinking that will somehow change her, then she will make your life a sheer unmitigated living hell. Bank on it.
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A
male
reader, SensitiveBloke  +, writes (12 July 2012):
 This doesn't sound at all good. So many alarm bells ringing here. Sit down with her and explain how unhappy you are and why.
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