A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey, i have these horrible thoughts that my girlfriend is going to leave me for another person.She tells me she loves me and will never leave me, but the thoughts keep coming back.I'm really worried. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, cd206  +, writes (22 February 2007):
 Your girl can't promise you she will never leave you, even more than you can promise her the same. You're both so young. How many couples do you know that met at your age and are still together? Yes it happens for some people but not many. You could wish away this entire relationship if you keep concentrating on the wrong things. You need to change your attitude and enjoy the time you are together. Nobody knows what will happen in the future. You need to get there to find out and if you carry on like this your insecurities will make the decision for your girlfriend.
CD
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2007): if you really love your girlfriend then you should trust her, every relationship has these kind of thoughts its just natural, trust is very important, and if she says she loves you, women usually mean it!!!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2007): You can never make someone stay with you who does not want to. You are not in that situation but you may find that you will be if you are not careful. The way you are behaving shows that you do not value yourself highly. Other people pick that up eventually. People stay with people who value themselves because they then also value them more. I am trying to think of an analogy. Here goes: Think of children who go to burger bars and get free toys with their meal. Do they value them or want them? Not really. Would a child in Russia living on the streets value that toy? Yes. Because getting it was not easy, so they aspire to get something and keep it because it was not easy.
If you value yourself like that giveaway toy you too will be trampled under the feet of people. If you consider yourself worthy and rare, people will want to be next to a valuable and precious person.
If it is the first time that you have been in love it is scary but you must not forget who you are and live your life for another. Always, always remember how important and special you are and keep your eyes focussed on your own dreams. Never let another person become your reason for everything because it would upset the balance of your life and make the other person feel suffocated, among other things.
You need to stop asking for reassurance so much and focus not on how she feels about you, but how you feel about her. Be kind, give space and be strong. Not needy and weak when there is no need to be. All the very best.
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A
male
reader, zgeek  +, writes (22 February 2007):
 it sounds like you are lacking on self confidence she did choose you you know that they love us and that they wont leave us but we just cant quite see what is so appealing about yourself. if that is the case just try and get your girls assurance more often. Also you can tell her that you are afraid that she is going to leave you....but word it a little better than that else she might get the wrong idea. From my experiance I would just say just talk to her about it and try to boost your self confidence have ur friends boost your self-confidence. Use this link for a good site to help you with that.http://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence
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