A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hello. I am a somewhat happily married woman who has never cheated on my husband. My husband is very jealous and can be somewhat abusive at times. We do not do much seperately for that reason. He does not seem like he trusts me at all. I truly believe that I do love my husband but to be honest I wonder if this is really how I deserve to be living my life.Here is the problem I am having. I have a very, very close male friend who has been in an openly gay relationship for 15 years. He faces the same jealous and control issues that I do. He has come close to leaving his lover lately.I feel so close to my friend and we talk for hours. There is nothing I can't talk to him about. He completely gets me. And I completely get him. I have never had a close male gay friend before so I am not sure where this is going.I think we are falling in love. I am not sure what to do. As far as I am concerned, he is my soul mate. We are like the same person. He has 3 children from a previous relationship and has told me that when things finally end with his lover he would like to pursue a relationship with a woman. I took that as a big hint and the other day he came right out and told me that he knew that I had feelings for him but he knew I was afraid to say so. We are both in our late 30s so its not like he is young and confused about what he wants. He has never told me that he is bisexual. Nobody has ever made me feel the way he does. When I am sad he brings me up. He can make me laugh so hard that tears stream down my face. I am so afraid of losing him. There will probably never be another person who can make me feel this way. Something about us just makes sense. He is my best friend. Now, I need some advice. What do I do about it???
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best friend, cheated on my husband, jealous, married woman, soulmate Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, xanthic +, writes (2 November 2010):
 It depends on what you really want. Would you rather keep the friendship or risk losing it for something that could turn out be an amazing relationship? Either way, you definitely don't sound happy in your marriage and need to sort things out with your husband first, whether it be counseling of some sort or divorce.
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