A
female
age
41-50,
*ehaadvice
writes:Hi,I have got engaged around 5 months ago. I am basically a very shy and introvert kind of girl, but my would be is extrovert and very social. He has a large network of friends and contacts. Everytime he remains busy with his friends and all. Initially he used to talk with me over a phone. Its a typically arranged marriage, but sometimes when I call him he doesnt pick my phone and sometimes talks very formally then later on he said I was with my friends and all. Nowadays, as wedding day is approaching, its on 27th sept, he is so much of intimacy with his friends makes me feel very irritated. Sometimes I really feel ignored and not feeling very special to him. Hence I am very disappointed and confused like when where can I fit in his life. Please help me to come out of this situation. I feel very bad sometimes. Please help me to get through this .
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2009): I heard arranged marriages really work. now days noone forcing anyone to do anything, it's a choice young couple makes, they just get introduced by parents to each other, and then they decide.
Before my wedding my husband spent a lot of time w/his friends, I felt the same way a little lonely and abandoned. i don't know why they do it, may be saying goodby to their single life.
But 25 years later he is still the same loving husband that puts me ahead of everyone, we have a beatifull daughter together, travelled the world, and have wonderful life.
So, may be it's really not such a big deal that he is spending his last days as single guy w.his friends. Good luck and congratulations!!!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2009): I don't think he wants to marry u...talk to your family say he treating ou like this, and if they can talk to his family...if it carrys on then stop the wedding and ask your family help you find someone else that will treat you well.
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A
female
reader, Jayney Y  +, writes (2 September 2009):
 I see you are in Australia. We don't do "arranged marriage" in this country. We tolerate religions that do enforce it, but not happily because there is too much publicity about the misery that often results from it. While I understand that you may be bound by religion, I can only say that there are support systems in place in this country for women who are 'forced' into this situation. Sounds like he, and you, are being made to marry the 'right person', but that he has other interests which don't include you, ie; another girl. I would guess he can't help that, he's only human. Perhaps you should ask him, and if he's honest with you and that's the case, you should approach your parents together and point out that they have chosen to raise their children in, and thus expose you to, a culture that renders certain cultural and religious beliefs invalid. That was their choice when they came to a country which doesn't enforce those beliefs. You have a right to choose your own future in Australia, and no one, not even your parents or your god, has the right to force you to do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. If your intended feels that he has to lie about his social life before you're married imagine what it will be like after you're married. Don't do it sister, you're worth more than that!I hope I haven't offended you with my view. Good luck. :)
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