A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hi... im 16 years old and im having a realy hard time guetting over my ex... we went out for 3 years and i honestly loved him but he left me because i wouldint have sex with him...he said'' its been three years and you wont do anything with me i dont think you realy care''....anyways less then a week after we broke up he started dating one of my realy close friends so technicaly i should hate him...i thought i would get over it but i havint seen him in 2 months because i was on vacation but i still think about him all the time and i wake up in the midle of the night crying because i was dreaming about him...i dont know what to do i realy need help...thanks
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female
reader, xxbaybeegal  +, writes (29 August 2010):
 You might not want to hear this but he definitely wasn't worth your time. Take a good look, if this boy REALLY loved you, would he have left you because of you not wanting to have sex with him? Just because you don't have sex with someone, does not mean you do not love them. There is more to a relationship than sex. You need to find a guy, who doesn't think relationships are all about sex. Because it really isn't. When your ready, you yourself, will know that you want to have sex. Not a guy. Let him find a girl who's willing to do what he wants because, deep down, it wouldn't be right for you to have sex with him if you knew you didn't want to.
Don't cry because it ended, be happy it happened. I'm sure you guys had a wonderful 3 years. If you want to try and forget about him, go out with your friends, have a good time, and stop thinking about him 24/7. He left you for his own reason, don't let that stop you from living your life. Cry it out, because crying is good. It lets out your emotions. Listening to music with meaningful lyrics may help. Keep yourself busy, don't stop and sit down and have a think about him, although this may happen at times, try to avoid it.
If anything.. I'm sure it was him that didn't love you that much. How can he break up with you, then go out with your close friend after a week? In my books, that's sad.
Any who, I'm sure you will meet a wonderful boy in the future!
Good Luck x
A
female
reader, Phoebe Halliwell +, writes (28 August 2010):
 I know you don't want to hear it, but if he broke up with you because you wouldn't have sex with him, he's not worth your time! The "if you love/care about me you'll have sex with me" line is one of the oldest in the book. You can care about him without sleeping with him. He obviously didn't care that much about you if he wanted sex, you said no, you're heart-broken and he's gone off with your friend. It obviously didn't take him long to get over you, did it? I'd be worried for your friend, he's probably only with her for sex, otherwise he'd have gone out with her first. 2 months feels like a long time, but you had a long relationship, so it'll take a while to get over.
Think about how bad he was for you, why waste your tears on a guy who didn't respect you enough to still love you after you said no? You need to believe there are better guys for you out there, and you're going to find one who will treat you right, instead of your loser ex. You need to take off your rose-tinted glasses and see him for what he is: an idiot. He had a girl who loved him and ditched her because she wasn't ready to sleep with him?
Have a clear-out in your bedroom. Get rid of photos of you together, stop listening to sad music, go out with your friends and have fun. Eventually you'll look back and think, "I can't believe I wasted tears on him". It might take some time, but you don't need him. And your friend can't have been that good of a friend if she knows you're hurting and starts dating your ex boyfriend. Go out with your girlfriends and have fun, take your mind off him.
Good luck!
xxx
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