A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello and thank you in advance for your advice. Sorry the back ground is so long but my question wouldt make sense without it. Im a 26yr old gay woman, im currently working as a head of year in an english high school, studying hard to earn the extra qualifications to become a deputy head. As part of my course im being mentored by a head teacher from a different school.I spend alot of time at her house with her and her partner(who is also a head teacher). On one of these occasions i met my mentors niece(T)when she was home from a tour of Iraq( she is an officer in the armys nursing corps), she is possibly the most beautiful woman i have ever met. Physically she is stunning with an toned hour glass figure, deep brown eyes and the most honest, genuine smile.As time has passed i have also discoverd she is very intelligent,with a sharp toungue, completely unafraid to stand up and be different with the ability to command an audiance of complete strangers. She is also kind, gentle and sometimes quite shy. She noticed that although usually i am quite intelligent and articulate, around her i was anything but! She teased me about it and flirted with me constantly(this is over a period of 18 months) on one occasion she had just got out of the shower and was walking to the spare room as i came out of the bathroom at the other end of the landing, as we passed each other she grabbed my waist and pulled me into her she kissed my neck and then my lips, when i went to undo her towel she stopped me and whispered in my ear that she was aloud to tease me, but that nice girls like me dont cheat especially not with girls like her. I must have looked as confused as i felt because (T) said that if i hadnt already been warned it was sure to happen.She kissed me again then calmly walked away. Her Aunts noticed that something was going on between us, they warned me that although (T) was a fantastic person and a very loyal friend when it came to sex she was different, they'd lost count of the amount of girls she'd seduced and discarded. They told me not to fall in love with her as i was guaranteed to have my heart broken. The opinion of her soilders and superiors was the same. They could count on her risk everything when it mattered, on one occasion she pushed her CO out of the way of grenade and suffered 18 wounds to her abdomen from debris, but when it came to loyalty in relationships she was incapable. After recieving these injurys she was sent home to recooperate and we remained friends, we still flirted and she still teased. I ended my relationship before she got home because i couldn't get (T) off my mind. when she found out i was single she teased harder until eventually we had sex. That was 8 months ago and were still together. She's changed to much, her soilders say how much happier she is and that whatever it is i do it definately works they've never seen her more content. But i cant shake the feeling that im not enough, that shes not going to go back to sleeping around. She's not done anything to susgeast that she is but the evidence is stacked against us working and i guess im scared of loosing her. I love her with all that i have and she says she loves me and wants to be with me. has anyone had a similar experience, did your relationship work? if not why not? Thanks again x
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2007): dont worry too much about whats gonna happen for tommorow, just live for the day and enjoy each other. Love is not about taking chances its about living for the present and whats there that can make you happy..dont think about the future because when you reach there youll know what your gonna do.. life is too short, live your life as if there is no tommorow.. because we are not sure if we'll gonna be there anyways!!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2007): Seems like your the first person she's ever settled with, that's got to make you feel good that your special enough for her. Try not to let these worries get too you, if she's going to cheat on you, she will and there's nothing you can do about it. But you can help matters by seeming secure in the relationship. I think people can change for the better and sounds like she has
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A
female
reader, Beckto  +, writes (30 August 2007):
 You can only take this one day at a time. You're right to be concerned by the evidence of her past. People don't usually change much. But, if she hasn't given you any concrete reason since you've been together to doubt her feelings for you, or her fidelity to you, then you have to just toughen up.
Take things one day at a time. You can't control her, so if it's going to eventually fall apart due to her "free spirit" then it will. Her loss.
I think what's more important is not your trust of her but your trust of yourself! You don't trust that you're attractive enough for her. I don't know you, but there has to be something(s) about you that's good enough to intrigue her. You may not notice it like she does because you are you. She probably sees what you don't see of yourself. So, if you don't want to loose her, buck up and develop some self confidence. 8 months is a long time, hun. Be happy. There's nothing more attractive than a person who is happy and confident.
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