A
male
age
41-50,
*ove Lockdown
writes:Ok honestly is the best policy. I have had no trouble at all with any other woman previous to my current girlfriend of 4 months. We had wonderful sex for the first few times and now I'm having trouble getting turned on! And to be honest I tried it with a previous lover while I was with my girl to make sure it was still 'working' and it was all good! I know I shouldnt have but I wanted to eliminate any other problems. I actually do LOVE her for her and not her beauty. We have wonderfull conversation and I she is exactly what I have been looking for. We just get along so good and I feel so at ease when I am with her. Its like everything is in place but the sexual part throws me through a loop!I love my new girlfriend so can some one please shed some light as to why its only with her? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, PeanutWoman  +, writes (11 May 2009):
If you're not attracted to your girlfriend, you probably shouldn't be with her. You're not doing either of you any favours. Try and see things in the long-term. Can you really see things working out well? Don't you think you'll just eventually go on cheating on her if she can't please you sexually? Don't you think she'll do the same to you if you don't please her? Maybe you just love her as a friend and that's it, but you can't live a lie. You only have one life and so does she. Don't waste anyone's time. Time is precious.
A
female
reader, Olivia(Y).  +, writes (11 May 2009):
 "I tried it with a previous lover while i was with my girl to make sure it was still working" ... " i do LOVE her"
So you love your girlfriend enough to cheat on her with an ex lover? Is that what love really is to you? How hurt would she be if she found out you were doing that, if you were my boyfriend i wouldn't give you the time of day if i found out that you were doing that! You shallow person.
Keep trying. Mabey stop trying for while and when you really feel like it then try it but make sure your relaxed.
But tbh i don't think you deserve your girlfriend the way you treat her by going and cheating on her to make sure its working. Grow up matey.
Livia
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2009): she deserves better than you, youve cheated on her with an ex, thats so low. There would have been other ways to resolve this but i think youve blown it. she deserves someone who does find her attractive, does get turned on by her and can perform and please her.
being a girl that has been cheated on in the past, do her a favour and let her find someone who will treat her well
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