A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am married and happily I might add. However. I have had a guy friend since I was 9 years old. In the past year or so I have seen and felt some tension between us. Before my marriage he wanted me to end it and try a relationship with him. I told him maybe if it was years before but I loved my fiance' too much and couldn't do that to him. So why do I always feel like I want to run into his arms when I see him? He is now in Iraq and we email back and forth usually just short "hi hope your safe". He had mentioned one time when we were younger and kissed and talked about it in lenghth. With that email I felt something change and though I love my husband very much and my family I am sometimes thinking of this other life I could have had. And what it would have been like etc! What do I do? Should I stop being friends with him. Nothing has ever happened and I won't put myself in that situation for it to but I worry if it ever did if I would have the strenth to say no! I do "love" him in my own way, I'm in my late 20's now and like I said have known him since I was nine. Am I a horrible person?
View related questions:
fiance Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2008): No, you shouldn't stop being friends with him and no, you're not a horrible person. All you're doing is wondering 'What if'? and there's no harm in that at all.
There's a world of difference between the love you feel for your husband and the love you feel for your friend. You're worrying about what's essentially a hypothetical situation. It's easy to wander off into fantasyland in emails and long distance phone calls, and you say you wouldn't put yourself into any compromising situation because you love your husband too much.
Your friend is more than likely feeling short of female company right now, so I wouldn't be at all surprised if there weren't a few flirty emails from him, but let's face it, it's all fantasy and what might have been but it bears no relation to reality. It will be a whole lot different when he gets back and finds a woman of his own.
I suspect you might be feeling that the shine has gone off your marriage now that you've settled down into a routine with your husband, especially as your mind is wandering elsewhere. Maybe it's time the two of you went off for a rejuvenating vacation for a few days or even a couple of weeks?
|
