A
male
age
26-29,
*rying1997
writes:Girlfriend oh phone with other guys for hours late at night.....So my girl and i have been together for a while. We like to fall asleep on facebook messenger videochat at night. Ive been getting worried because most nights I'll try to call her and messenger will tell me shes on another call. But its for hours at a time. Like tonight. Ive been trying to call her since 10pm. Ive called about 5 times since. Its 1am now and shes still on the call. She says shes having fun with her girlfriends (out of town on a trip) but shes still on the phone, wont answer my texts or anything. She says she loves me, and i believe her.but there's a few guys i asked her to block. One is her ex who she says she still has slight feelings for. But hes hours away. This is an every night thing and im getting more and more concerned. I dont wanna get hurt again....what do i do?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (19 March 2019):
 Are you really SURE she is ON a call of just left it open?
Besides what is with the check up on her at 1 am? If she is OUT with her girlfriends WHY are you calling to check up on her?
And WHY is your FIRST conclusion that she MUST be talking to other guys?
I think you two need to take this relationship a BIT off from the tech here and TALK to each other and spend time with each other IN PERSON.
This whole, falling asleep together over video-chat.. yeah, it sounds "cute" but is that really sustainable? It will get "old hat" pretty fast.
HAVE some boundaries. ACCEPT that there WILL be times SHE will be busy with friends, or HER life and YOU will be busy too. YOU CAN NOT keep tabs on each other every minute of the day and if you think you HAVE to do that, so she won't talk to other guys or cheat... THEN you have an issue. One with trust and one with control.
It's ALSO not your job to go through her contact and DEMAND who she needs to block. Seriously dude.
You can talk to her and explain WHY you feel it's inappropriate to keep in contact with an ex she still has feelings for, but SHE should WANT to block him without you "telling" her to do so.
If she CHOOSES to not block the guy, then maybe... SHE isn't as into you and your relationship as you may think.
If you don't think you can TRUST her, WHY are you with her?
If I were her, I would NOT like being TOLD who I can and can not talk to, I would NOT like to have my partner check up on me when I'm having a night out with the girls and I CERTAINLY wouldn't like being ACCUSED of talking to other men because I CHOOSE not to pick up the phone at 1 am.
You need to talk, IN person and you NEED to "calm your tits" with this whole "technological umbilical cord" and either WORK on BETTER communication and working on HOW to build trust OR... DUMP her.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2019): You stop calling. She will come to you once she realises you haven't been in touch then you can both sit down and discuss this issue.
Tell her the lack of communication is affecting your relationship and you feel she isn't being truthful with you about who she is talking to.
If she doesn't get in touch then you'll have your answer.
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