A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I am going through this divorce after 25 yrs of marraige we have both had an affair but I dont want our marraige to end he has moved out and we are still friends we have this wonderful 10 yr old daughter still at home who is doing pretty good considering what is happening ... I have 2 jobs and he helps out with a little each week but people tells me i need to get a lawyer but I dont want this to go there ... Still Love Him I think or it could be out of habit since we married when i was 16 and he was 19 ... But really confused about this whole thing.... So someone anyone please try to help me make sence out of this situation he seems really happy but im Not ....
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female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (2 June 2008):
 Live one day at a time . Try to do things that you enjoy .
Go with the flow .No one is responsible for your happiness.
You got to create your own happiness and not depend on others.
Have a positive attitude and learn to relax.
Nurture your spiritual life for it can give you the peace and calm in your heart and mind.
Maintain your self respect and keep up your self esteem and confidence.
Go exercise, swimming or a walk with friends .
Focus on God and your aims in life .
In time , you will see the bigger picture.
You are like one piece of jigsaw puzzle and you cannot see
the whole picture until God put all those pieces together.
If you are married, learn to enjoy life.
If you are single, learn to enjoy life too.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2008): Don't go thru the divorce if this is still Love and feelings involved. Seek counseling for both of you and also separatly. It will help immensely. If both of you can work thru the issues of your growth sputs in your marriage and come to a compromise and meet eachother half way. It will be worth it all to stay. I was married for 17 yrs and got a dovorced. My twin girls were 12 when we divorced. They sufferred. We sufferred, we both realized today how we still care for eachother and are freinds and he has re-married but we still wish we could have not be so stubborn in our age and differences to go to counseling after the hurt feelings have subsided. We both have agreed, if we would have worked on it we would have lasted and our family would have not sufferred. We also married young at 18 and 21. Now we are in our 50's and still miss each other even though we have seperate lives.
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A
female
reader, Aunt Audrey  +, writes (2 June 2008):
 You should not be pressurized into divorcing your husband if you feel you are not ready to go down that road yet...
You have separated and it seems you have kept things amicable, which is good news for your daughter. You are talking to your husband so you could always discuss your feelings and see how he stands on the situation, he may feel the same way too, and if he doesn't want to rush into anything either you may do well to leave things as they are for the time being, if he wants to divorce you can cross that bridge when you come to it.
Who knows with time you may rekinkle your feelings for each other, you were together for a long time. I don't want to give you false hope, but I get the impression you might like a reconciliation and it's not an impossibility, right now though you have to accept that you are no longer together.
Take things slowly, you are trying to get used to being separated, deal with things as and when they arise and don't worry to much about the future, I'm sure you'll do just fine.
Good luck and keep us posted.
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