A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've just recently got back into touch with one of my teachers from high school. (Classof2012) I'm in university now. He was my 12th grade English teacher and when I was his student I had the biggest crush on him but kept it pretty well hidden unlike my more immature friends who whistled and batted their lashes at him lol. He was a 26 year old in his first teaching job, scoring a one year contract at my school. I was curious and I ended up slowly learning more about him just with random questions and I could keep the conversation going. A few months before graduation I realized I cared for him as a person and one day in the empty parking lot he told me he knew something unspoken was going on between us, he cared about me and he was attracted to me. He said nothing could ever happen as I was still his student at the time. We had never went farther than little nudges and smiles that seemed to burn desire inside my heart. On the day of my graduation he gave me his number and told me to call if I ever needed someone to talk to. I did this of course and during the summer of 2012 I had gotten to know him so much better and we could actually openly flirt with each other,(nothing like phone sex though) lol. We were both living in different cities, away from where I graduated and where he once taught. Summer ended and reality quickly drifted us apart. Him working, coaching and raising his son as a single father and me, going to university and having a tough first year, we eventually stopped talking sometime during winter. I had switched from a dorm to an apartment a few months ago and as I was unpacking, my bulky jewelry box fell on to the floor of my new place and papers from the little drawer slipped out. I picked them up and noticed the paper Charles had given me at my graduation, his number. Almost a year had gone by since I called that number and I felt pretty nervous holding that very paper in my hands. It was a little exciting, I brushed it off and told myself "he probably has a new number or something." A few days had gone by and I finally built up enough courage, not to call but to text the number. He quickly replied and since then we've been back in touch, texting and calling each other. We're living in the same cities now and he wants to meet for coffee and take me to a movie. Sounds like a date, doesn't it? I'm really nervous but excited. We meet up on Friday at 5. This is the first time I've seen him in such a long time. I like him as a person, he's a great father and a very smart man. I really want this to be awesome, I feel like I need a pep talk or some tips at least from anyone reading this. What do you think about the current situation I'm in? Give your opinion, tips and good suggestions please? :) Any positive feedback would calm my nerves. Sorry for the long story, this is the first time I've ever opened up about this, to anyone.
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crush, flirt, immature, my teacher, phone sex, text, university Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2013): You're a legal adult. What anyone else thinks from here on in basically means nothing.
You two feel like dating is a good idea for you, then date. You are both single and not hurting anyone.
Might it end badly? Of course. That is a risk you take with every relationship... but you cannot know love if you don't know the risk of heartache either.
You are an adult now... so act like it and make your own choices, and deal with whatever the consequences may be.
Flynn 24
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2013): Personally, I would always worry about him blurring the lines with his students even after you two are an item. It'd niggle at me that I can't really know that he wouldn't be flattered by another of his student's crushes to take it further.
At 26, he should be a lot more experienced and mature than an 18 year old. If he feels that difference in maturity ( he is a parent for crying out loud) is insignificant, then he'll feel the maturity difference with his students is also insignificant enough for him to consider dating them on the sly.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2013): This is exciting, I could only imagine. But, there is something that doesn't sit completely right with me and I think apart of you feels it too. He is 8 years your senior and once had the role of your teacher, it just seems a bit inappropriate for him to put that out there. I know though how thrilling this must be for you, I really do understand. And I am not saying he is a bad guy, but think about it from the stand point of a parent, how would this strike you if you were a mother and your daughter was telling you this?In the end, you are probably gonna date him, and that is completely understandable too. Hot older men can be quite difficult to resist. But, if you are, I advise one thing: keep your pants on. Not because sex is a bad thing, but the longer you hold off in this situation especially, the more you'll get to know about what kind of man he really is. So far, all you know is what you have projected on him, but the truth is you don't know him much at all. For all you know, this could be something he has done before, with students or former students. And him being older means he has much much more life experience than you do, you are much more likely to get hurt. So hold off sexually, get to know him as a human being. If he really likes YOU, he will wait and show you that it's more than just about sex.I really don't mean to rain on your parade at all, to be honest, I had a very similar situation happen to me when I was 19 and it really impacted me negatively. I am not saying that this will be the case for you and I really hope it is not, I just trying to offer some advice that would have greatly helped me.
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