A
female
age
36-40,
*steelknive
writes:i got myself into a pickle.... well this all started months ago it started when i was dating a guy named j then i met n and fell in love with him when i went to break up with j he told me he loved me and i chickened out it took 12days to buil up the courage to break up with him during that time i already started seeing n well a few months into the relationship with n i start to realize that he is lying to me about small lil things so i really didnt care then he started saying how he missed n loved his ex he even told me one day after we slept together (that day hrs later) that he was depressed bc when i dropped him off he watched a vid of him n his ex.... another time when he was high he told me he was very spitefull n did things out of spite to me,i was upset of course n then i came out one day n told him about j well now he is all you lied you cheated i told him i was sorry i told him i left j for him. well he started playing mind games n one moment will b like i love you baby the next he will say something he knows will make me cry only to sit back n watch. now he is doing a whole new emotional rollercoaster on me he said if we ever break up can we still remain friends n have sex next he tells me we need to go on a break so we can sort things out..the next night he comes to my house all depressed stays the night n when i refused to sleep with him that night he became upset i explained to him my emotions were unstable n its not just sex with him its more n i didnt want to while we were taking this break...he gets all pissed but stays the night wakes up then tells me he wants to break up bc i dont trully love him.i find out the next day from a friend that he had licked he panties n bathroom once that he stalks his ex still has anger problems told me if i ever break up with him he would hurt the next man i went with and has a hidden life he is my world my heart is dying without him but for one mistake on my part does that mean i have to endure so much pain. he does and says things on purpose just to hurt me bc the first week n half we were together i was with another guy.what should i do should i end this now should i run should i try nto patch things up what???????im going crazy someone pls help me.
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (10 July 2010):
 You should cut your losses before they become any bigger.You don't "have to " endure such pain, and it is not really n who his making you endure any pain. You are making this to yourself,when you choose to be with a guy that by your own description is a liar,a stalker, a cruel, unstable and potentially dangerous type. What do you need more for leaving him, that he comes at you with a baseball bat ???. Ok,ok, I know- you are in love and being in love is irrational. Perhaps you may regain some lucidity by looking carefully at what it's under your nose and seeing the signs- this relationship is already far from solid and quite on shaky ground, and he has already told you and let you understand that he'd rather have you as FWB or booty call rather than as his gf,and I think this is where you are heading to inevitably if you can't put together the will power to free yourself from him. What you did in the first days of your relationship is just a convenient reason for him to back up his shoddy treatment of you with some sort of reason, but you may be sure he would not treat you any better even if you had never lied to him.
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