| A
male
,
anonymous
writes: About six months ago I asked a female friend who I really like if she would like to go out for a drink with me sometime. She sent me a text message back saying she would thought she was busy the coming weekend she suggested the following weekend. The following weekend I was going on holiday with family so I sent her a text message back suggesting we arrange something when I return, to which she responded positively. When I got back from holiday I sent her a text again asking about arranging to go for a drink. She said she was busy the coming weekend but may be able to make the following week and she'd be in touch. On the advice of a friend and my own judgment I decided to leave it to her to make the next move. She didn't get back to me and with me being busy with work and stuff I didn't see her again until a couple of months ago when we were out with a group of friends. I felt awkward chatting to her and we didn't really say much to each other. When we were out with friends again the following week we chatted for quite a while and when no one else was listening I brought it up about having asked her out for a drink before. She was fairly coy about it and just said she'd been really busy and hadn't got around to contacting me. I asked her if she was still up for going out sometime - she paused a while then said she'd just leave it just now. We carried on chatting for a while afterwards (stuff like work, music, food, etc), she seemed to be genuinely happy to be chatting to me though in retrospect I think she was a bit edgy for a while after I'd brought it up about going for a drink before. A few days later we were out again with friends. I didn't get the chance to talk to her at all because I was catching up with others I hadn't seen for a while. She was sat at the opposite end of the table and I noticed out of the corner of my eye she kept gazing at me several times. I only glanced back once half-accidentally and she looked away quickly. More recently when we were out she said goodbye to everyone at the same time when she was going home, then as she walked passed she touched me on the shoulder and said goodbye to me (but not to anyone else personally).I really don't know what to make of the mixed signals I'm getting, I am aware though that she is looking for a partner. Every piece of advice has been that she's not interested otherwise she would have arranged a date. I've tried to be patient and adopt a wait-and-see approach though My inclination now is to call her and confront her about the mixed signals, explain that I value our friendship but would welcome the chance for us to develop a relationship.Advice please this is doing my head in! Was she just not being straight from the start or did I go wrong at some stage and if so is there anything I can do now?
View related questions:
on holiday, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (9 December 2005):
 Stop trying to interpret 'signals'. You're trying to attribute interest where there isn't any. She's probably flattered by your attentions, but I'm sorry. That's all I see in this.
What did her ACTIONS say, when she had several months to text you about going out? Her actions said "no, thanks".
What did she actually SAY when you brought it up in person, after all those months and texts? She said she'd "just leave it for now".
She enjoys chatting to you. She may be pleased that you find her attractive. But nothing that she's said or done has indicated further interest. She had months to act, if she had the slightest inclination to. Please stop torturing yourself and trying to read between the lines. She's not interested.
Sorry, hon. You sound like a nice, sensitive man. Please put your efforts into dating someone who'll be attracted to you.
Take care.
A
male
reader, harshbutfair  +, writes (9 December 2005):
 Hate to say this but for some reason she doesn't want to go out with you. Chicks send confused messages ALL THE TIME - if you confront her you'll just look like an uptight stalker. Take a break from her, forgot her and chill for a bit.
...............................
|
