A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've been in a relationship with my now fiancee for a decade, within the first 6 months she was having a hard time. She would constantly start crying and become very sensitive, not over anything that i did, but when something happened at work or school. Soon she went into a major depression and very suicidal. The Doctors diagnosed her with major depression, schizophrenia and bi-polar disorders, (within the first year of dating her). Then to make things worse her brother died. Now the hard part, within the last year I've finally had the courage to figure out that i'm gay and accept it. All my friends and family have accepted it i told my fiancee's doctor, (therapist) who was no help. She called me a fag who would, if not already, sleep around and will soon die of aids. I decided anyways to man up and tell my fiancee that i'm gay. But she can't interpret it, she still wants a future. She comes to me all the time, hangs on to me. Which is fine because i love her to death! but in my mind its more of a father-daughter relationship. As it has been ten years and her illness has just gotten worse. To the point where she just talks with a babies voice, bugs me to buy her stuff. The doctors say she basically has the mentatity of a 7 year old child. When i came out to her she had talks of suicide and the doctor told her to leave me or she'll be infected with aids and will also die. She freaked, not because I'm gay but because the doctor said i would die. I don't know what to do, she's a gentle women, if i had to describe her it would be that of a child, innocent. We never have sex, she doesn't want it. The drugs she's on lowers her sexual needs. I'm just confused because i'm not happy, but if i end this with her i'm afraid for her because i do love her. And i would never hurt her. Even if it means me not being happy.
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aids , at work, drugs, engaged, fiance Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify  +, writes (18 May 2010):
 leave her please. your life should not exist simply to please others, keep her as a friend and leave it at that. it sounds to me like you NEED a life of your own. having someone be dependent on you can make you feel needed and wanted but really its not going to benefit you in the long term. you need to be free and meet men and explore yourself, not spend all your time with someone needy who threatens suidcide and wants you to buy her stuff. sorry but what i see here is a manipulative individual that has someone wrapped around their little finger. and i myself have been diagnosed with bipolar and i would say that when it gets bad i become very manipulative and overly dependent on others. mental illness or not, either way it should not be controlling your decisions to the extent that it does...
get your own life
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