A
male
age
26-29,
*egas10
writes:We have been really close friends for like 3 years and a half now in high school (i am 17, she also is). We walk home together, help with studies and often talk in school. As we have similar mindsets and ideologies i started to develop a crush on her. I couldn't hold it any longer. So, after implying the thing a several times, we hanged out together. Went to a café. Talked like for 2 hour and laughed. I implied the intimate with things like: She: You don't have to walk me home Me: Oh please, you didn't let me pay the bill (she actually didn't let me) at least let me follow this part of the protocol (smiling and ironically) A week later i asked her i she wanted to do something but in the weekend, she couldn't. Fine. Next weekend, she excused herself going out to discos with her friends (she always does this on weekends). Rejection??? I didn't care. I noticed i was being to fast i think? And that was the cause of rejection. As for now, im playing the flirting game and she is kinda reacting well. I gave her a unique nickname nad i talk to her when i can in school. My question is: How to get it to the next stage in this situation? I mean, im flirting. Should i be catching her signals? When to push it once and for all?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Abella  +, writes (9 June 2015):
 Hi,
There is a whole lot you don't know about her yet. She is resisting your impatience and she is being turned off by your impatience.
So I suggested some ways that could build some trust and develop greater rapport between the two of you.
Because right now she is not a ''sure thing'' and she's not yet ready to go to any next level.
When a girl is more ready to go to the next level she is more likely to be giving you a whole lot of signs.
From her words and actions she is not showing those signs.
Impatience and arrogance and a sense of entitlement will send a nice girl running.
This girl is a nice girl and despite being friends for some time you have not convinced her to want any ''next level'' with you yet.
If you want to soften her resolve then work on being a a nice guy.
There may be girls who might jump at the chance to go to the ''next level'' at any time and any place. Such girls are easily won over but just as easily they move on to a new guy.
You, instead, are dealing with a girl who is not easily ''won over'' hence the different technique suggested. A bull at the gate approach and some exasperation and some impatience on your part will not work with this girl.
She knows that you like her but she is resistant to your efforts, until she is convinced that you are a ''keeper.''
You convince her that you are a ''keeper'' by your own actions and your patience., and your attitude and behaviour.
She is a smart girl. She needs a little more time.
The rest is all about your actions, your attitude, and your behaviour.
When she is ready she will yield to you, not before.
A
male
reader, megas10 +, writes (9 June 2015):
megas10 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAnd after getting to know her even more??
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (9 June 2015):
Hi
She already knows you like her. But the pace may be too fast for her, at the moment.
And I realise that you are 17 and that may be a bit young to really sweep her off her feet, but you can certainly start learning how to.
Back off on the flirting and actually get to know her.
Ask her open questions and give her your full attention when she answers. Try to remember everything she says or implies.
Open question need an answer where they need to say more.
Closed questions stop the conversation as they require a YES or a NO answer. Do not ask any closed questions.
Open questions start with: WHY or WHAT or WHEN or HOW.
Such as:
What has been the biggest influence on your life so far?
Why do you think that that is so?
What made that situation more difficult for you, at the time
What milestones or goals do you want to achieve by the time you are 25
What has been your biggest challenge in your life to date?
Do you know the following things about her:
Where she was born
Her favourite colour
Her favourite flower
Who she most admires and why
What are some of her life goals
Which is her favourite film and why
Her favourite ice cream flavour
There is a lot that you don't know about this girl, at the moment.
If you want her to be interested in her then you have to demonstrate your sincerity and genuine interest in her.
Do you have a reputation for flirting with girls?
If yes then she may think you just want to add her to your list, of girls you've flirted with.
Or does she have her eye on another guy?
Wooing a girl takes time and patience.
Some girls need a little more work than others.
But the girl who takes her time to make her mind up may be the more loyal girl in the long run.
Whereas easily won is just as easily lost.
If she asked you to list the five things most important to her - could you answer that question? If not then learn the answers by listening to her.
Don't interrupt her when she is speaking.
If she asked you to explain the five things you really admire or appreciate about her could list those 5 things?
If not then start discovering those things
Good luck with your efforts
Regards
Abella
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