A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Me and my Fiance of 3 years broke up 7 months ago. However, I am pregnant with his baby. We have remained friends and our friendship has gotten much better since January. Our relationship ended because I cheated on him over a year ago and he never got over it. We also began to argue a lot and we no longer had a connection to one another. Since I am pregnant and we are expecting a child, he has received a job offer and will be moving away. He would like me to move with him so we can raise our child together but we have been separated for 7 months. I am scared to experiment with our relationship now with a baby in the picture. I am also scared to play house and go through another breakup. We have never lived together before and I took the break up in January very hard. I am finally content with the breakup and I don't want to become attached again only to be broken hearted. Should I make the move?
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female
reader, Country Woman  +, writes (25 October 2009):
 Personally sweetheart if you are in a good place right now and you are getting good support from friend's and family together with his moral support, why leave all of that to just play house with him and happy families. The biggest strain that can be put onto a relationship is having children and considering you broke up and have remained apart for the last 7 months makes me feel like moving in together right now is not the right thing to do. You have been coping and unless you are saying that you are frightened or worried about going through childbirth and being on your own afterwards. I personally think you need time to be a mum and bond with your baby before you add anyone else into the equation. Don't be proud let others around you help and take all the help that is offered. Once you have got into the routine of just being a mum then consider your options, if this guy truly loves you then he will give you that time. I think putting yourselves under added stress right now would be a mistake. You need to stay put and not make a massive move away from friend's and family as they are the ones we need most after we have a baby. There are no rule books that come with your new arrival and we find our own way round being a new parent. Just don't give yourself more to stress about right now, you need to remain calm and have plenty of rest. This is the only time you are going to get that so don't waste it. If however, you truly miss your ex and feel that you need him in your life and your child's life after your baby is born, then and only then do you consider your options. Don't move to somewhere new where he is at work all day and you are alone at home with your child and no friend's or family close by. You need to keep up your strength and regain it after the birth and then decide what you truly want out of life. Single mum's get through so much and you don't have to exclude him from your child's life, he is the one deciding to move away not you so don't rush into any major decisions right now. Talk to your friend's and family and get their views on this as well. Have you decided what you want to do after your baby is born, do you want to work or do you want to have a change in career? Just think long and hard before you rush into anything that is my personal advice.BFNCountry Womanx
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