A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi there, hope you can help me out on a situation.I'm involved (not in a relationship with but 'close') to a man who lives long distance from me. We've never met in person before but he was supposed to be coming to see me last month. We used to text constantly everyday, up until 2 weeks ago when he started becoming distant with me. He'd briefly mentioned that he was going through a hard time but failed to tell me what the issue was, despite my best encouragements to get him to open up to me. I just had to respect that, we're not committed to each other so I have no right to invade on his personal life. So that was that!But ever since, he has been incredibly distant with me. He hardly contacts me anymore, I don't wake up to those lovely 'Good Morning beautiful' texts he would often send me and sometimes when i've messaged him, he hasn't even bothered to reply. I have no idea where I stand with him and I don't want to confront him incase i'm over-reacting and he gets upset.However, when he has contacted me he's been normal and friendly - not offish in the slightest. Secondly, we had one of our 'sexting' sessions about a week ago - which made me think that he was going to start being normal towards me again but I was wrong because he didn't even bother to contact me for 2 days after. Lastly, on Monday I changed my facebook status to a sad face (nothing to do with him, I was having an off day and stressed with exams etc) and he immediately inboxed me asking what was wrong, then he wrote again saying that he's always there for me and I can talk to him about absolutely anything. He certainly cheered me up that night, being the lovely, caring person that he is. So as you can see, he is still nice towards me but I can't understand why the contact has suddenly dropped? Gone from about 100 texts per day to about 2 if i'm lucky! he used to always say how he wants us to be together (even admitting that he loves me - which I find hard to believe because as i've said, we've never met in person before). Not long after we started contact online, he mentioned coming to stay with me for the weekend - I never believed he was serious at first, not until I started developing feelings for him and it soon became the topic of our everyday conversation. But now? there's no mention of it. I'm a stubborn person so if he won't bring it up then i'm not going to either, likewise with the contact - if he won't bother with me then I won't bother with him. I don't like to look desperate, I prefer the man to do the chasing and because of this dramatic change in communication i'm feeling neglected and upset as though he doesn't care about me anymore.What are your views on this? I can't work him out. His astrology sign is Cancer, if that'll give any cues? Thank you in advance for any answers.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2011): maybe you should just give it time and try not to dwell on the negative to much, he has said that he is going through some rough time, so i suggest just that you should just give ti some time and not rush things, things will work itself out in the end, just be there for eachother as much as you can, and if he is being distant, try to keep contact with him, maybe he has some ilness or some stress in his life and does not want to bring that into yours. I have been in a similar sitation to yours my dear, my long distance love was going through depression, but i stuck by him even tho we werent in a relationship, we maintained our long distance contact and eventually we met up and got married and i am still married to him now. long distance love is one of the truest love out there, as it is also one of the hardest to get over. The intensity is beyond anything i have ever experienced, and more real then anyhing, even sometimes when it doesnt feel real. I hope you work things out and i hope my post gives you some hope hehe. Just be positive my dear!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2011): You can't work him out coz he is a stranger off the imternet,no more. What you need to work out is getting out of this rut you're in. You have relied on a man you don't know. Its not healthy. You may have to face up to he could have met a real one now.
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