A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:There is this guy (who was sort of a close friend), and I lost my virginity to him in October. Long story short, after it happened I had to go through a lot of stuff and had troubles in my life. And now this guy likes one of my best friends. She asked me if I was okay with it and i said yes because I didnt want to be the 'jealous-b**chy' friend to my best friend of the guy who I lost it to. So I let it be and she went for it. But the thing that pisses me off is the whole idea she even asked me when she knew exactly how much it meant to me and all the things that happened to me after. And I have to see them together everyday. And don't get me wrong, I dont have any feelings for the guy its just I can't believe she would go for it. It upsets me because I would never do that to her even if she said it was alright. Am I right for being a little mad? Any advice you can give me?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (2 April 2012):
 You actually have NO right to be mad. She did what any girl friend would do and ask her friend before dating him. Really, some girls don't do that. The ones that respect their friendships, ask. Then you said, "Yes!". Did you think she was just asking you for the hell of it? Of course she wanted to date the guy, she just wanted to clear it with you.
If you were really that bothered about it, then you should've said, "No"!
Now if you were really over your ex, then this wouldn't be bothering you the least bit. You're blaming your friend for your jealousy.
A
female
reader, neomum  +, writes (1 April 2012):
Get over yourself, you are acting like a bitter ex-girlfriend,
Your friend asked you if you were ok if they dated they are now happy and maybe they were better suited together than him and you and to top it all you don't even like this guy anymore
Expand your circle of friends and get on with your own life and leave them to their own.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2012): She came to you and asked you if it was ok and you said yes, she could have went behind your back and kept it a secret but she was up front with you. I've had worst things than that happen to me with my friend. find youself another boyfriend, don't put all the blame on her because he knew she was your friend, he's just trying to make you jealous. Is there any way you can keep from seeing them? Try to avoid them.. go your separate way.
You really wouldn't want someone that would date your best friend even after a breakup. You don't have feeling for him anyways so don't let it bother you.
Don't let them trouble you because their relationship will not last for long. Trust me!!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2012): Honesty is always the best policy. If you felt this way at the time your friend asked your permission to see the guy. Then you should have been as honest with her as she was with you and told her straight away that you`d have a major problem with them dating. I dont think you should be mad, maybe a little disappointed that she wasnt more empathic BUT she did ask you first to make sure it was Ok and you said it was! So I dont think you should be mad at her. You say you dont have any feelings for the guy any more, so try not to fall out with your friend because of him. They probably wont date forever anyway, so your discomfort with the situation will probably be short lived. In the meantime either try to grin and bare it or move away from them a little and spend more time with your other friends.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2012): Sweetie you said yes
Now think about it
If your friend didnt care about you
She would have went out with the dude without asking you
But she asked
And you said yes
You gave her your permission Hun
I understand you didn't want to be bitchy but you should have been honest about how you felt yknow what I'm saying?
Try telling her the truth this time
Hopefully she will understand :)
Good luck
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